Counting steps Learning raw 一步一脚印

Inception: Movie to "celebrate" the start of new semester

2010-08-01T00:14:00.005+10:00

In all seriousness, I am terrified by the pace time is moving: haven't I just started 2010 but why is today the last day of July 2010? At this rate, I'll be a grandmother before I realise it!! Sometimes I am wondering, like Leonardo DiCaprio in the movie, whether what happened around me were a dream after all. Is life itself a dream, a dream so real that we all think it is reality? Is some kind of devine force the architect behind all the images, feelings, occurrences that surround us everyday life?

I like Leonardo DiCaprio as a kid (like when I was in primary 3, 9 years old) - his acting in Titanic is just magnificent beyond words. And I as a kid actually thought he looked really handsome.

Handsome-ness!!!

More than 10 years have passed and now Leonardo DiCaprio looks a lot older, and the little kid who was puzzled about why Rose didn't seem to feel embarrassed stripping in front of a young, handsome artist has grown into a 22-year-old.

Now back to the movie Inception: it is yet another good science fiction I watched in recent times after Avatar. I like the way the scriptwriter let his imagination running wild and came out with this idea of multiple layers of dreams/subconscious. It is really rare to have dream within a dream, but I think some people may have experienced it. My cousin used to tell me about this dream she had: in her dream she has had candies and when she woke up she found real candies on her bed; she was so excited and then something happened (can't remember what exactly, something like falling off the bed maybe) and she woke up again, this time back to reality. Of course there wasn't any candy on her bed this time.

I do believe in multiple layers of subconscious. We commonly call rare but accurate feelings about something that is about to happen "sixth sense" or "gut feel" - but I think they are really just wisedom that we've accumulated over time through experience, except our brain couldn't bother formulating them properly to be stored in the conscious part and therefore stored them in a haphazard manner in the closet called subconscious.

I've also read somewhere that our subconscious mind can store things for longer period than our conscious mind. Knowledge, skills, wisedom that we pick up unintentionally and without realising them may last for decades, waiting for the opportunity to resurface as "sixth sense" to help us in decision-making.

Now, what happens if the subconscious side of our brain can be intercepted and extracted? At the current state of science I don't see how this can happen in the next century, unless mankind make some kind of impossible breakthrough on understanding ourselves: how we think, make decisions, and learn from lessons. Arguably there are currently some ways to know what a person is thinking, through hypnosis, psychological tests etc ... at present we aren't anywhere near to completely understand how the conscious side of human brain works - the subconscious end is likely to be 100 times more complex.

Leaving the science aside, this movie also provoked thoughts (in me) about whether it is worthwhile living in a dream. There is no perfection in reality, perfection only exists in dreams. Would you be willing to spend your whole life living in an artificial dream world, even though you would have everything you wish for there? This question is strikingly similar to one that I've asked myself some time ago: nobody wants to go to hell, but if heaven really exists, and so is rebirth, would I choose heaven over continuing to live on earth as an ordinary man/woman? Ultimately, is a perfect world the best world to live in? In a perfect world, everyone is equal, nobody will go hungry or homeless, wealth is everywhere, there is no need to labour hard to earn a meagre income to survive like how some unfortunate cousins of ours work in some parts of the world. But would a life under such perfect circumstances be more meaningful than living in our present world, where we have to work hard to pursue what we hope for, with no guarantee that success will come after the sweat, and with sorrows and disasters looming at the corner, warning us to cherish what we've got today because nobody knows if they would still be here tomorrow?

Dream and reality are intertwined in the movie, enormous concentration is needed to follow the storyline without getting lost in all the actions and gunshots. In many ways, I admire the scriptwriter for putting in so much thoughts into the wonders of human brain that scientists are yet to discover.

If inception and extraction of thoughts become possible, well, I can imagine that would spell chaos and the eventual self-destruction of homo sapiens. The way nature works is that all individual human, beast, plant, bacteria are independent in "internal processing" of will, wants, and actions. If it becomes possible for technology to steal/implant thoughts into someone's head, human greed would eventually guide those in power to control human minds, we would never know whether a person is acting under his/her will or is on an idea implanted in him/her. The chaos that follow would be unimaginable, but the end is imaginable. Undoubtedly, the final chapter would be disastrous e.g. wars that wipe out the whole human race.

As much as I love the movie (and Leonardo DiCaprio!), I hope the brain extraction/inception technology not to become a reality. I would like my next generations to be still enjoying the freedom of forming thoughts and dreams as they wish, and not let anyone know about them if they don't want to.

If you ask me what I think of the last scene, I really hoped that the spinning thing topples, so that it's happy ending that Cobb is awaken from his dream and back to the reality and his family. But the director is not telling! He's leaving the guesswork to the viewers. Did Cobb wake up from his dream? Or has he sunk deeped into yet another layer of dream, which is identical to the expected reality (dream completes its loop, which means he can no longer differentiate between reality and dream unless he spins that thing)?

This is indeed a very creative movie!!!

Against the Gods - another book by author with surname Bernstein

2010-07-22T21:11:00.012+10:00

Author is "Peter L. Bernstein" - the surname sounded familiar to me. Have I read one of his books before? What then? I don't read non-fiction, investment/risk - related books until late 2009, I remember their authors' names, certainly not Bernstein. (Thinking hard...) Ahhh!!! I know. The Birth of Plenty is written by William J. Bernstein .

So are these two persons related? Father and son? Brothers?

I googled "Peter Bernstein and William Berstein related" - and found the disappointing answer that they are NOT!!!

(Quote book review for The Birth of Plenty)

"Bill Bernstein's erudite history of the causes and consequences of growth grasps the main issues and keeps them up front all the way through. This book is a great magnifying glass for studying the complex world of today.� � Peter L. Bernstein (NB: Mr. Bernstein is not related to the author of The Birth of Plenty.) "

Damned!!

I thought I've found an evidence to the hypothesis "Like father like son" or "Like father produces like brothers" - the evidence is even stronger if Peter Bernstein and William Bernstein were brothers and happened to have a father who also wrote investment/trading books.

Anyway, it is an enlightening masterpiece, especially for us actuarial students who went through gruesome actuarial training that plants the idea of probabilities all over our head.

This book is really about modern risk management, but why is the book's title Against the Gods? The first step of managing risk is to believe that God doesn't control 100% of your future, that you can change the future by changing the ways you behave/your actions today.

Risk management necessitates understanding on how the future might turn out to be - Would Gillard lady change immigration rules after winning the election? Would Woolies (woo woo tongue-twister it is) have special offers on canned tunas tomorrow morning? Would Claire be eliminated in today's episode of Master Chef (I'll find out soon)?

In one word: PROBABILITIES.

Probabilities=Probable+abilities=what is the chance (how probable) that something is able to happen

Why are probabilities invented anyway? Is it because we love the number zero and one so much that we'd love to invent something that always lie between those two extreme ends? LOL~ 1 and 0 are my favourite numbers when I was a school kid - they were so EASY in elementary maths.

6+1=7

6-1=5

6*1=6

6/1=6

Me in Elementary school: "So EASY!!! "

9+0=9

9-0=9

9*0=0

9/0=???

Me in Elementary school: "So EASY!!! Oh wait, teacher!! What is 9/0?"

Teacher: "Girl we don't divide something by zero."

Back then I imagined the hardest math (ie math in high school, uni) must have involved HUGE numbers e.g. 998883666388277673889298983+87837283787848787872=?

Of course I found out later that it is not, especially after starting Actuarial Studies when I realised that sometimes getting that answer between 0 and 1 can be such massive headache.

Probabilities are calculated because we want to know the rough picture of how the future would look like, and so that we can tailor our actions to either change the future or to cope better with the future. BTW, the title of this book should be Predict and Against the Gods - clearly doesn't sound as good, but that's the main thesis. Can human predict the future and go against what God has pre-arranged ???

BTW for those who have misconceptions about what an actuary does, the kind Blog author has some explanations for you:

Actuaries DO NOT know for sure what the future would look like!!!

So, don't come to me and start asking me to calculate how long you can live, who would be your wife/hisband, who would win the election in November (I personally want Gillard lady to win, Tony Abbott looks like an old-fashioned man with old-fashioned ideas.)

Because I DON'T KNOW. If I do know I would have become the richest person on earth by placing wagers on everything e.g. football matches. Actuaries are NOT fortune-tellers. Paul the octopus can predict better than me.

Probabilities all straighforward for games of chance ie games that are invented by human, such as roulette wheel, black jacks, kiddish games that I see in Jim Farmer's combinatorial probability notes. (How kiddish? e.g. Anne and Bob plays a game by throwing 2 coins, if the sides turn out the same, Bob pays Anne $1; if the sides that turn out different, Anne pays Bob $1.)

Which sane person would play a game like that? LOL~ The games I played as a kid were much more interesting than this one. But having said that many mathematicians, statisticians studied kiddish games like that and work out answers to questions like "What is the chance that Anne's pocket has more $$ then Bob's after 100 throws". The purpose is either to get rich - by working out the "optimal" ways to place bets if they so happened to have played these kiddish games with their best mates; or simply to kill past times or satisfy the inner curiosity of theirs.

Regardless of the motives, probability theories were developed over time by great nerds from the 17th , 18th, 19th centuries (from the way Peter Bernstein portrays them.)

BUT, God doesn't play simple games of chance!!!!

The games that God plays are much more complex!!!

Hurricanes and Tsumanis don't happen like how heads and tails appear on a coin toss, or how the ball lands in a roulette wheel, or how the faces of 6 dices turn up in a single throw. Global temperatures and sea levels don't go up like a straight line you drew on a graph paper. Things around us don't happen in neat fashion: independently, frequently and consistently - which are the qualities in games of chance invented by mankind. The three qualities are what we need to work out or approximate probabilities, and we have neither in circumstances where probabilities are most needed.

As if things are not complicated enough, the MOST COMPLICATED game invented by God is actually the brain of human. Yes, your brain, my brain, everyone's brain. I don't even know precisely what, when, how I am going to do something tomorrow (what more to say in a month, year, decade's time?), even though I am the person who should have the most amount of infomation about myself.

If you can't even predict yourself, how can you fancy predicting other people? Well, we hope that although each of us behave in erratic ways, the collective us behave in predictable ways - RATIONALLY, in the long run. Being rational means choosing the action that is best/optimal for your own good. E.g. you choose to do your homework despite not liking it because you know it is good for you. Being rational also means not being swarmed by emotions - you should keep your emotions at bay when choosing the option that is best for you e.g. if you know your wife is going to kill you if you keep a mistress, you should not keep a mistress even though your emotions tell you to hide her in your cupboard.

Sounds simple? Not till you start trading in the stock market - the place where emotions override rationality in the biggest scale. No stocks go up forever, very few stocks go down forever - you know that, I know that, but still when we see stock prices going up most of us choose to believe it to climb endlessly, and cry (if we've invested our $$) when it collapses.

Are you rational? I am not. Rational people don't make decisions based on sunk cost (cost you incur in the past e.g. $$ I paid for my gym membership) but based on opportunity cost (cost that you will incur by choosing something over some else e.g. the time I could have spent sleeping had I not chosen to go to the gym). The fact is, LOL~, the biggest motivation for me to head for my workout is the thought that if I don't my $$ would go to waste.

But all models used in the world of finance assume rationality - that is, hoping that the irrationalities of everyone happen to cancel out so that we as a population behave rationally. It's like "Oh please God, please~ ~ ~ We know each of us are not rational, but can you make all of our irrationalities combine into a big rationality fondant that ooze out thick stream of rationality when I cut through it?"

God isn't listening - that's why we have the Global Financial Crisis. Human came out with great, accurate formulae to predict our nature - the plants, the animals, the rocks, the rivers, but we are nowhere near to be able to predict our own thoughts and actions.

Peter Bernstein said perhaps human would become better over the time and eventually come out with something that can predict ourselves.

Let me see, this book is published in 1996. 14 years down the track, has human, with the help of computers, moved closer to that noble target?
No. There will be no economic crisis if we were that good.

Can we ever be smart enough to create something to mimic ourselves close enough? Perhaps not, unless:

1. The earth is conquerred by aliens who turn us into robots e.g. send human for reformating so that all our brains are programmed identically - with emotions extracted and rationality inserted.
2. Someone become God's best friend and got the secret algorithm that determines how the 7 billion persons in this world think and act.

So why go Against the Gods?

We should Befriend the Gods.

Over Mount Fuji - As volcano erupts, Hot German guns won against Uruguay!!!

2010-07-11T10:33:00.008+10:00

Hahaha...I just LOVE matches with >=4 goals ~ ~ They exceeded my expectations!! 3 goals to Germany and 2 goals to Uruguay! Hot young german guns held off Uruguayans, who also played exceptionally well in this tournament, to seal the third place of FIFA World Cup 2010. Forlan and King of Volleyball (Suarez) were dramatic too, and they almost forced the match into extra-time!! But thank you germany for producing such entertaining display in this tournament. *Clap clap clap* for both Germany and Uruguay .... and Paul the Octopus who predicted 100% correctly for the German's games.

Fellow Malaysians: this is a book written by one of our countrymen residing in Australia - but the setting is not Malaysia, he is too scared about being caught by ISA.

Instead he wrote about Japan - where the mystic Mount Fuji is located. You know Mount Fuji? Is it the place where Fuji Apples came from? No need to do research folks, because the kind me already helped you to do so:

(Source: Wikipedia)

"The Fuji apple is an apple clone developed by growers at the Tohoku Research Station (農林省園芸試験場東北支場) in Fujisaki, Aomori, Japan, in the late 1930s,[1] and brought to market in 1962. It originated as a cross between two American apple varieties, the Red Delicious and old Virginia Ralls Genet (sometimes cited as "Rawls Jennet") apples. It is named after "Fujisaki ([藤]崎)," Aomori Prefecture (青森県), but often mistakenly thought to be named after Mount Fuji (富士山)."

Unfortunately, the answer is No.

Nonetheless, it's good effort by first time novelist Joel Huan. Fictions are always difficult to write - I remember the narrative essays I wrote in primary and secondary schools. They can be summed up in one word: LOL.

Lame, funny and ridiculous -->pretty good value huh? But my school teachers don't appreciate that type of qualities, so in the end I settled with writing argumentative essays instead.

If you are curious to have a quick look go to http://wulfstein.wordpress.com/, you can read for FREE! All there, if your eyes are strong enough to endure about 300 pages of reading on computer screen.

Bloop...Bloop...Bloop...what's that??? A Dragon? Water Bubbles? Mother Earth's "fart" maybe?

After today's football match, I'll say it must be King Octopus snoring!! Octopuses are set to become the next ruler of planet Earth after homo sapiens!! The whole human race, with thousands of football pundits, can't predict anywhere close to 50% as well as that little octopus Paul. OMG.

Life and Death have always been what human are struggling to comprehend - not just the science of it, but also the spiritual part. Where do we head to after death, or rather, is there anything left in us to make this question relevant? Is everything as simple as what science has put it: that you and I are temporary visitors to this world, and our existence, insignificant. Just like the dust on your furnitures, each of us, when the history of whole universe is looked at. *Blows* Gone! No marks, no legacy, not even memory.

Do heaven and hell exist? Or are they just spiritual inventions by us - to make the evils amongst us guard their behaviours, to exploit the fear amongst us for the good of the community. Everything around us, their existence, their smell, their taste, their touch are temporary - aka impermanent. What are maths, what are science, what are statistics, what are philosophy, what are money and numbers? They are really just creation by us, homo sapiens - the most intelligent creatures on planet earth. Strange enough, if you think about them individually, they don't add much value to life and survival - or do they? Perhaps they create power, authority, hierarchy in the society that are necessary for a species to prosper. We can't eat numbers, we can't eat laws of physics, but in a strange way, the creation of those allow human race to rise above the beasts.

But can we beat Mother Nature? No.

Who is Mother Nature then? Just a planet formed by random particles during the Big Bang? Is there a force that regulates the happenings around us, aka God? If there is God, everything that seems random is predestined - your race, your gender, your wealth, your success or failure, survival or death. If there is predestination, theoretically time travelling is possible, since occurrences are 'lined-up' in a preorganised fashion and therefore 'forwardable' or 'reversable'. Conversely if randomness is the force, time travelling is not possible because (as stats students know), a string of random numbers can never be reproduced or predicted exactly (with your limited lifetime).

Maybe there are cycles of life that we are yet to comprehend. The forces that wiped up Dinosaurs may be acting to wipe out Human, but we don't know when.

Volcano eruptions, tsunamis, severe storms, rising sea water - if there is such thing as an 'equilibrium' like how economists put it, what then explains the increased frequencies of those natural disasters? Human greed, you may argue. Human are too greedy and exploit nature too much. But why does greed exist in our blood (not just human, all other beasts as well)? Greed is essential for survival, leopards can't survive in the wild with limited food supply without the hunger to out-power the others. With greed, human/animals launch wars against one another, to destroy, to assume dominance. Terrorism in the homo sapien's world is akin to territorial intrusion in Safari. What's the difference? It might then be the case that greed is a double-edged sword, that ensures survival and the eventual extinction of living creatures.

Who is the Mighty Force that is smart enough to design such regularity that ensures no species is bound the rule planet Earth forever? We might never know the answer, because our intelligence and senses might be programmed in such a way that we would never find out.

Shall we human then be proud of our achievements? We're the second ruler of planet Earth after Dinosaurs. Who is going to be next? (Answer: Octopus)

Okies, I am clearly not giving a book review here - but this book provokes the above thoughts.

Now some suggestions to Joel the author (may contain spoiler, close the window immediately if you're planning to read the book!):

Overall Wulfstein and Eileen are the main characters - whether or not they fall in love (as in, develop romantic feelings for one another) is not clear. Byron and Nobuko are just supporting characters. I especially think you could have involve Byron more in the storyline, not just a detractor of his mentor for the most part of the book. Romance between Byron and Nobuko isn't very "smooth" - as in, I think you could have developed the feelings of both a little more before making them hold hands, kiss, hug and have sex.

The part about Wulfstein being swipped away by a tornado is a bit too rushed - given that he's the main character you could have explored the feelings of him a little. E.g. what occurs in his mind when he realised that his end is near. To me, Wulfstein is clearly the main character, he's the one who drives the plot. LOL~actually it'd be good if you let Eileen and Wulfstein fall in love with one another (you might have, but it isn't real enough). You might have let them talk about things apart from tetonic plates, you know, about her marriage to Jerry, about her life thereafter. Maybe you could have made Wulfstein a divorcee after several failed marriages, because his wives couldn't stand his obsession with earthquakes. You know, things like that.

I have to be honest here - I haven't quite developed enough affections for your characters after reading the story, which are essential for me to cry or laugh when the characters cry or laugh. This comes with experience I suppose, I'm sure your second novel would be much better on this. For example, I'm sure you could think of alternative/creative ways to describe Wulfstein's obsession with science other than making him sweat, tremble and refuse to talk. Those are typical "nerdiness"- we readers love to read about "craziness" instead.

We chatted about dialogues last time, and yes you write far better dialogues than I do. Just would like to suggest, perhaps make the English sentences said by Japanese different from the Americans? You could argue that Nobuko grew up in US, but given how long she's been staying in Japan, the Japanese culture would have a greater influence on her speaking. By varying the tone of language a little, the conversations become more real.

Some other minor suggestions:

* Remove page numbers 1-4, you don't need them. Start page 1 with the prologue.
* page 75, 6th line from the bottom: now it is "on" the move.
* Use a wider variety of "swear words" - not just damn it, shit. LOL~ e.g. certain spots can be replaced by "oh my goodness" or "damnation" or "you must be kidding me". Just some suggestions.
* Think you could also have used some alternative to "nothing". ~Just my opinion, coz I realised that I read them a number of times.~
* A couple of diagrams, pictures in the book showing the archipelago, how the electromagnetic field spreads, how the "ambience" moved, the relics of shipwrecks would be effective at helping readers to understand what Wulfstein is talking about. This technique is not unusual in many books which explore ideas that aren't straightforward e.g. the Da Vinci Code.
* pg 260: "As Eileen rushed back to the deck, assiting survivors..." --> you mean, her leg has recovered? She just got injured on pg 258.

The Birth of Plenty - Awesome read for those who doubted their economic lecturers

2010-07-06T19:15:00.017+10:00

To non-economics students - think of "Plenty" as the everything that you're now having: a comfortable house/room, a TV set to watch Netherlands vs Uruguay, pocket money from your parents, books to study for exams (does this excite you babe?), and in future, a car to drive around, a nice book like this one to read in your bed, a massage on a trip to Bali - basically, why are you, YES YOU, not planting corns to feed your tummy and sleeping on the mud, like how our less intelligent cousins who talk like GWAK GWAK GWAK?

Bruce Edward has a pretty similar taste for books as me, I realised. "The Black Swan", "The Birth of Plenty" and "Against the Gods" are all good books for people who'd like to exercise their brains a bit during this cold winter. Just like how gym workout makes your body fitter, reading books make your brain fitter - and the activity generates HEAT which - you would agree with me - a precious commodity in July of Australia.

You can safely assume that economics-related BOOKS are nearly always more interesting that economics JOURNAL ARTICLES or TEXTBOOKS. The latter are full of graphs and over-simplified models which no one believes in practice but everyone writes down on exam scripts LOL~

How is "Plenty" born? How does the world start growing the pace it does today? In other words, how did we human start to realise that we can generate much more than what we thought we could. WB puts the source of "growth" in a package that contains:

1. Property rights and Rule of law - ie a set of rules that restrict what you and I can do, but not too much, and a set of rules that give me assurance that my money, ACST notes, Indomee, this blog, my business (when I become a boss one day), my invention (in case I invented some gadgets, models, theories that have a wow factor one day LOL~) would still remain mine tomorrow, next month, next year, ...., if I choose not to sell them to someone else. In other words, if there is no rules to protect my property rights to my ACST notes tomorrow, economic growth might be stunned (to some extent) because XinYin can't study -->just kidding. What's the point of making more money, if the 'king' can take them from me whenever he likes; what's the point of investing in a business if at anytime it can be stripped from me; what is the point of creating something e.g. a gadget, a theory if I can't claim ownership and thus reap rewards out of it?

2. Environment that gives incentive to scientific research and intellectual development - ie there must not be a tight regime which restricts intellectual thinkings of yours and mine. E.g. we should be allowed to tell our lecturers how wrong their models are, and not get a sour face in return.

3. Easy access to capital - ie there must be fairly abundant $$ at affordable interest for you and I to borrow to invest in something we invented. For example, if I want to set up a new instant noodle company to challenge the superpower status of Indomee, I should be able to borrow to employ workers, buy machines, build factories that churn out massive quantities of dried noodle and seasoning full of toxic, so that I could sell them off to university students who are too lazy to cook. Because I set up a rival company, Indomee would feel threatened and do more research on how to improve their toxicating seasoning so that more people would be willing to spend $0.50 on each packet of poisonous monster.

4. Efficient transportation and delivery of goods and ideas - ie I must be able to obtain the things that I don't produce myself, access the knowledge/news/gossips/world cup matches, and fly to Australia from Malaysia in 8 hours, not by boat in 6 months. I must also be able to access the (mostly boring, long, some pretty interesting) academic papers to do my thesis, and to obtain a copy of 'Over Mount Fuji' to understand the ideas that had Joel Huan obsessed for 10 years.

The historical path that eventually led to "the birth of plenty" was rocky, with many emperors rose and fell, countries achieving glories then collapsed. The first sign of economic growth was seen in Holland and Britain - not US the modern superpower. There is an interesting chapter on British Imperialism that explains the economic side of British colonialism in Southeast Asia. Well, the account that I read on History textbooks was all about how humuliating it was to "lose national sovereignty" to whites, about "natural resources that got litched off by whites", and spirits of patriotism that eventually motivated "heroes" that fought for independence.

I dread to think about how Malaysia would look like if there was no British colonial masters. Would the country still be run under a feudalistic system? Would I have the opportunity to study overseas? Would I become a paddy farmer who has to pay >70% tax to the landlord or the king, and sing Dollar Tuanku everyday? I suppose no, because the fact that the country was run feudalistically was the trigger point for western colonialisation i.e. British took advantage of exactly that to topple the local kingdoms and negotiated (forced) the rulers to hand over controls.

For the price of having to call the British "masters", roads and railwork were built, schools were set up, local governments were established, rules and laws were enacted, foreign banks were allowed to set up branches. In some ways, these were exactly what led to the nationalism movements. Who cares about the flag on top of government buildings if there were no educated minds and adequate income to feed the stomachs so that energies can be generated to run the minds?

By the turn of the second half of 20th century, the superpowers - the US and Britain especially - realised that imperialism was poor investment so they retreated. If they didn't, many countries today would still be colonialised.

Of course, it is far easier to explain what happened in the past than to predict what would happen in future. WB is pretty smart, he avoided speculation in 95% of the book and only gave a brief, broad speculation at the end: the growth shall continue, the growth figures are there to stay.

I would guess so, but given how unpredictable future are to human at any point - the Europeans living in the Dark Ages wouldn't imagine how XinYin could type a blog entry while eating porridge, and post it up at whims, he/she simply couldn't understand how XinYin who doesn't know how to loosen up the soil in front of her house could possibly have rice to cook porridge - our guessing in the 10th year of 21st century about the economic landscape of the 22nd, 23rd ...centuries, might just be as inaccurate.

Hang on, maybe we as human have become more intelligent over time and therefore can predict better?

Read this book if you're the kind of person who question what your economics lecturers are/were telling you. (It is a bit thick, though, almost 400 pages, still less than your one-semester lecture notes?). Economists loves to draw "frontiers" - a cool name for really just an ugly line on a paper- to represent the process of economic growth. And I remember there was this line drawn by Alex Blair that intersects some curve so that the magic model gives you "equilibrium" level of output. The possible questions in exam about economic growth are either "change in labour force" or "increase in capital resources" or "technological advancements".

If everything about mankind stays unchanged, growth would of course continue --> a pretty lame assumption, since when human are static? E.g. I won't even know what I would eat tomorrow as lunch, but maybe not porridge. Resources on earth are limited - which is the reason why some economists in the past predicted growth to be "stunned" at some point in the 20th century (and those people were so good at justifying why their predictions didn't come true, retrospectively). If so, how could countries grow forever? Where can we find the extra GDP when the amount of soil and oxygen is essentially fixed? More babies? More financial contracts (which aren't natural resources)? More land exploration?

Or, perhaps, conquer other planets and make them our second home?

P/S: Joel Huan, your book is next.

DISGRACE - no, it's not about me.

2010-06-25T07:31:00.010+10:00

I am still pretty honourable. It's about the nobel-prize-winning novel that I read on a novelist's recommendation.

The moment I got it off the shelf I was thinking: Such a tiny book, is it that easy to win a Nobel Prize in Literature? Writing a tiny story which only has 220 pages - many times less than JK Rowling's dictionaries called Harry Potter 5 and Harry Potter 6.

So I went and checked out the definition for this prize, and found:

“The said interest shall be divided into five equal parts, which shall be apportioned as follows: /- - -/ one part to the person who shall have produced in the field of literature the most outstanding work of an idealistic tendency ...”

(Excerpt from the will of Alfred Nobel)

Idealistic tendency is the key. If you want to be famous one day, write a little story, it doesn't have to be dramatic, touching, entertaining (I am not being sarcastic), but it has to be real and reflect the cultural tendencies of the plot settings.

On this criterion, JM Coetzee succeeded. He's brought out the issues of white-black conflicts, in a subtle way: there is no unpredictable plot twists - but somehow the story ends in a way unexpected by me, because I'd read too many novels with happy/sad endings and tended to think the end has to be one of the two.

I'm pretty sure that if one looks into details of every single page there are heaps of cultural elements to be identified, but my idea of reading a book, in particular, a novel, is to enjoy it. That means reading it on my bed, reading it while eating chicken drumstick and noodles, reading it while watching Julia Gillard showing her public speaking skills after being "elected" as the new Australian PM (I swear that before this I never know a PM can be ditched and replaced like that, overnight, through the intentions fermented over a couple of months). Back to my point, I mean, reading a novel should not be like reading Jiwook's notes where I have to strain and force my brain to absorb everything in there.

If there is anything you, the author, want me to absorb, it has to be embedded, and natural, so that it enters my head without forcing them to me.

After spending a day reading, what I remember from the book are the following: (I don't care whether this might become a spoiler or not, if you're worried and planned to read the book, I suggest that you close this window now)

* David Lurie is such a WOMANISER!! Well, I usually get really annoyed when guys in real life say to me that girls are there for men's pleasure. But if it's just a novel, be it, it's fake, so I don't mind. LOL~~~Is womaniser the right word, or pedophile?

* And he is such an idiot for being a hard nut to crack - refusing to issue a proper apology to save his job. Hard nuts like that tend to suffer in this world, they deserve some respect for standing by their principles (good or bad), but not sympathy.

* Animal euthanasia - I don't have a side on this, human beings have been doing that for ages, in various forms. The best justifying reason ever come out with is to sacrifice for the greater good of the mankind, in animal testing laboratories.

* Abort or not to abort - no qualms on that, its ultimate decision should be the carrier's. Men should respect that, always, no matter the reasons.

*** Submission and acceptance of life:

This is probably the most important message thoughout the book. Should we accept fate as it is, and not try to change it? Or do we have power to change? Should we embrace the culture in the surroundings we live it, or should we strive for our own good, and try to protect ourselves from the harm?

Well...again it depends on circumstances. In this day and age I tend to go with the side that says fate is changeable (I hesitated, and deleted the word "destiny" - because by implicit definition destiny is fixed, if the dialogues of "Heroes" is anothing to go by), and there are many successful people in this world who would agree with me.

But when I put myself in the shoes of people who prefer to submit, to tolerate, to accept fate as facts in life, I can see where they are coming from: they basically want peace and stability in life. Dream pursuers would unavoidably need to go (or sail) through the ups and downs, the waves, the weather, just like Jessica Watson (who is not going to hold her record for very long, because more young chicks nowadays want to be famous); yet all peace pursuers want is to live amicably, to minimise changes to the stable lifestyle. They do have a point, what's the point of chasing dreams when I am contented with what I have now. And ultimately, the place that you and I will take are the same: the hole in the ground.

Economics is all about making educated guesses

2009-07-26T09:05:00.013+10:00

Australian PM Kevin Rudd absolutely loves writing essays!

That shouldn't come as a surprise cos you know he has first class honours in Bachelor of Arts. What is surprising is he actually wrote 6100 words, and the article took up two full pages of yesterday's Sydney Morning Herald.

I only read it this morning, and it did take me a while because of its length.

Putting aside all the sophistication of words and long elaborations, there are really only a few points that can be said in much fewer words:

(From my memory)

1. Australian economy is doing better than most of the other rich countries, due to aggressive fiscal and monetary expansionary policies. It is not in technical recession yet.

2. There are signs of recovery, but the recovery process is going to be painful for households as the government gradually withdraw the stimulus packages to undo its budget deficit.

3. Unemployment is expected to soar higher as it is a lagging economic indicator. Even if growth levels rebounce in the second half of 2009 unemployment might well increase further to around 8-9%.

4. The recovery is expected to be slow and full recovery might take up to 6 years. The 14-year economic boom before the crisis was based on 'spending beyond our means' and 'debt growth', the recovery ahead will be based on 'capacity and productivity building'.

5. As the economy recovers, inflation and interest rates are going to rise. Households may experience strains in purchasing power as unemployment continues to increase.

Kevin Rudd made a smart political move. He wrote a long essay justifying what his government will do in future: reduce government spending, increase tax, increase cash rate etc. That means when the opposition criticises his government's move in future he can always reply by saying, "Please read the 6100-word essay I wrote."

If you think about it economics is such a unique field. It doesn't have right or wrong answers, but only valid arguments. Economic projections are more likely to be wrong than right but somehow the world take all these forecast very seriously. And (lol) there are usually ways for economists to explain why the past forecasts are inaccurate (wisedom in hindsight?).

It may seem simple, that in bad times you should increase budget spending and reduce interest rate. But the question is WHEN is the best time to carry out an action. Also consumer sentiment is such a tricky issue that it seems to me the economists speaking on TV are making nothing more than educated guesses.

When I was first introduced to economics (in college) I was wondering why can't we AVOID the economic cycle. Back then all I know is that there are four phases and that the cycle repeats itself over and over again. I thought if everyone were to stay optimistic all the time everything will be fine, there will not be recesssion.

It's human nature to never be satisfied and want more and more of everything we have. Eventually resources will be so strained and some people will start to lose confidence, and thus the downturn begins.

So the essence is unless we turn ourselves into robots economic ups and downs will continue.

P/S: If you aspire to become a Prime Minister one day you might wish to start learning Economics.

Lessons from Australian Master Chef Season 1

2009-07-19T23:20:00.005+10:00

Lesson #1: Sometimes champion is made by not being the best (but not the worst) all along except for the last race.

Lesson #2: The most common way to screw up something is to have BAD time-management. Remember how Julie screwed up many of her dishes?e.g. the puddle pie

Lesson #3: Stress-management is usually what separates the best from the good.

Lesson #4: If you want to do well in something, you've gotta LOVE it~

Lesson #5: Don't take unnecessary risk i.e. risk that has no potential upside but with a downside possibility. Poh, you should have followed the recipe!

Lesson #6: Luck can sometimes change the way things go. Had Julie been not so lucky about onions being in that Garry-beef-something dish she could have got only 3 points from the taste test.

Lesson #7: Sometimes obvious answers are right in front of us, so don't search around for complicated solution before thinking over the easier possibilities. E.g. the carrots and tomatoes should really be quite obvious in the first challenge. Even I can spot that hint of tomato skin! And oh Poh, how can you forget about oil??

Lesson #8: Impression does matter. No matter how much you hate to admit it, humans being humans are bound to be led by emotions to some extent. What made Julie stayed for the finale instead of Chris? Her idea of the cook book which to me was very touching, and I have to say she knows how to engage her audience when she talks.

Lesson #9: Never think you are the best when the competition is not over. Chris thought he was the best in the competition, but see what happened?

Lesson #10: Most importantly, success is not determined by fragmented pieces of life chapters. It should be on-going. Julie won, but is that it? Nope, the real contest has only just begun! Poh lost today, but is she forever a loser to Julie? Nope, she could be the real winner if she works hard and prove to the world that her dishes sell better, or her restaurant gets more business than Julie's. One thing Julie has to justify for the rest of her life is that she is a worthy winner of the first season of Australian Master Chef.

All in the name of corporate social responsibility

2009-07-14T13:56:00.003+10:00

If you ask me which item on McDonald's appeals to me the most, at least in Australia, my answer will be Granny Smith Apple Pie!

As I was happily munching my superbly hot apple pies around 10-ish this morning, I saw this on the paper bag.

Then I went oh~

Indeed I kept the bag because my curiosity told me to do so.

And I did check out the website. It is kinda cool!

I once heard about how a burger that is sold to us for $5 actually only costs McD $1. At least McD cares to channel a bit of its profit back to the community. *clap clap clap*

覺得“天才”的definition好像被結構化

2009-07-13T15:07:00.014+10:00

世人對genius的定義好像都環繞在幾個領域。

我自己最常耳聞目睹的定義是：年級小小就數學很棒的人。
信手沾來的幾個例子就有已故張世明，在Malaysia紅一陣子，5嵗就會做form 5 add math 的Adi Putra, 為Macquarie uni 創下後人可能沒辦法破的紀錄的無敵Actuarial student Weihao Choo, 再來Luke Nichols也算其中一個，還有那個不知道叫什麽名年級小小就被Malaysian government送去UK的馬來女生 etc

他們都有一個很明顯的共同點，就是他們年級小數學造詣卻希伯高。我常常在想這些人的腦到底是怎樣的？是不是一聼完課，或者看數學課本看一遍就*燈泡亮一下*懂了？不用教, 給一兩個example他們就奇跡般地。。。會了！是不是這樣告訴我！

很奇怪的是學術界的genius幹嗎都一定（或者99%）是數學希伯厲害？爲什麽不會有e.g. 語言掌控得很好的小孩被封為天才？就算那些spelling很厲害，厲害到去參加spelling bee competition的人好像也沒被封為天才？爲什麽榮獲國際各類常識比賽冠軍的小孩不被說成天才？

可能數學在人類發展的腳步中的地位是其他領域如語言、人文地理無法匹敵的。

除了Academic genius另外三种人也有機會被封天才：
1。年紀輕輕運動造詣卻很高的人。這種人通常5，6嵗就被送去運動學校，企圖把他們訓練成未來的olympic gold medalist. 由於花太多時間在訓練上這些人通常學業不太好。e.g. England football squad的Wayne Rooney。

2。童星, aka有機會在娛樂圈大紅大紫的小孩。經典例子：Michael Jackson.

3。音樂細胞很多的小孩。這種人也跟1一樣，年紀輕輕可能就被送到有名的音樂學校e.g.英國的Royal School of Music，從小就接受很嚴格的音樂訓練。經典音樂才子：Mozart。

不過奇怪的是以上這三种“天才，1 和3的知名度往往比不上學術界的數學天才。運動天才最多在重大賽事 e.g.Olympic games, World Cup時才會受到關注，音樂天才更不用說了，只有懂音樂的人才會為之驚艷。只有童星才能跟math prodigy 拼。

童星會紅是因爲他/她的表演、影片、唱片人人都聼人人都看，而math prodigy的名聲一般都是這樣建立的：x嵗完成小學，y年内念完高中，在高中大考考或z個A (或者A1, 或者某某top score), w嵗考進世界排名第k的p大學的h科系（注意！ h 通常都跟數學有關係，絕對不會是Bachelor of Arts, 也絕對不可能是商業成分太高的如Accounting，更不會是阿貓阿狗都念得起的科系)，m年内完成學士， n 年内完成碩士and/or博士。

突發意想：爲什麽沒有年級小小卻打poker或麻將一流的人被封天才？

如果你在想爲什麽我會打這篇文。。。本小姐在等oven 裏的雞肉烤熟，自娛娛人罷了。

吃飽太空閒之My attempt to understand the science behind "Stress"

2009-07-12T00:29:00.007+10:00

A casual conversation with a friend stirred up my interest to read up on yet another random topic through google search.

Well it isn't that random aye? University students say they are under 'pressure' to keep up with their lecture materials; working adults say they are constantly rushing for deadlines; even full-time mothers complain about how 'stressful' it is to take care of young children, send them to school and return home only be greeted by housework that never seem to end.

I hated Biology in high school, that's why I didn't take up my dad's suggestion to pursue a medical degree. Yet, I surprised myself by my renewed interest in reading stuff about Biology, though I suspect the main reason being its relevance to me (and so many other university students).

It seems strange to me at first how stress can kill. It is untouchable, and its existence is sometimes difficult to define. Unlike a bullet which can go through a person's head and condemn him/her to instant death, stress does not have any physical sense of existence, yet depression is the number 1 cause of 'disability' in the population of Victoria.

My amateurish attempt at understanding some medical journals I found online led to a simplistic explanation. What we termed as 'stress' is actually a natural reaction to "dangerous" or "potentially life-threatening" situations, in the context of simple animal survival. Such reaction isn't supposed to be prolonged ie animals either escape from danger or die, in either case the body response to heightened level of anxiety will not last for a long time.

However, human extended existence beyond what nature lays down for us as well as our sophisticated brain structure which makes us 'aware' of our environment make us, I believe, more prone to stress than the wild animals whose only concern is 'survival'. Human invented responsibilities, commitments, love, care, duty - all contribute to different, and in some ways, more intense, level of 'stress' compared with the natural sources which are limited to predators, change in living environment and climate.

My poor grasp of Biology terms did not allow me to comprehend exactly the workings of our body's response to stress. I believe it is some sort of hormonal reaction, in that under stressful situations our body release some hormones to help us cope with the 'external danger'; however if the level of such hormones stays high for too long our immune system will start to deteriorate and this makes us more prone to illnesses.

So it is like alcohol. If it stays in your blood stream ALL THE TIME, you die of toxic.
It is akin to AIDS, which weakens your immunity and let other viruses kill you.
It is like some cancer. You can only try to manage it but not get rid of it completely.

吃飽沒事做時看的：偉大的JF 原來有做這種Research。。。。。。

2009-07-11T16:09:00.010+10:00

來看看神仙級的Actuary說了什麽：

Source:
Completion Rates of International Students Entering the Actuarial Program
by
Jim Farmer

“Students successfully completing the New South Wales (NSW) Higher School Certificate (HSC) are awarded a Universities Admission Index (UAI). The UAI is a number from 0 to 100 which ranks the student’s performance relative to all students in their year 10 cohort. Since not all year 10 students complete high school studies to the year 12 level, and those who don’t tend to be the less able students, the average UAI awarded is well above 50.”

哦。。。原來UAI是這麽一回事啊！Australians 怎麽那麽有創意會想到拿Year12來和Year10比？這種ranking方式我還是第一次聽到，不過也是有道理啦。

“To gain entry to an undergraduate degree program at Macquarie University a student must attain a UAI – or interstate equivalent – not less than the relevant “UAI cut-off” for that degree. Many degrees have two different UAI cut-offs: one for domestic (Australian) students who are predominantly funded by the government and a usually lower cut-off for international (non-Australian) students who are charged tuition fees.”

簡單來説所有的澳洲大學很寬待international students因爲他們繳付的學費比local students高非常非常多！現實一點吧，世界上有幾個人會和$鬥氣？人家也是要吃飯的。

“There has been discussion as to whether having a lower UAI cut-off for international students than for domestic students is appropriate. Some arguments on this issue assume that the international students who only satisfy the lower international student UAI cut-off are less likely to satisfactorily complete their degree than are the international students who also satisfy the higher domestic student cut-off. ”

我也很想知道啊.

總之result 就是有UAI 的international students，無論是達到domestic students cut-off （大約97分）抑或只是達到比較低的international students cut-off (大約93分），成功順利念完精算係的只有40-46%。

我怎麽覺得我這一年的international students 好像都很強叻？

這個research用的data 是1999-2001系列，可能當時學生也沒有現在多吧。

也有可能international students一年比一年聰明LOL.

Report中有提到的一點就是local Australians通常只有考或UAI 99以上才會報讀精算，而international students (可以先入爲主地當作都是亞洲人吧？）拿到96,97就已經一窩蜂地喊“我要念精算！！！” ----〉其實很對，亞洲人想賺大$的比較多吧！

後記：這篇blog絕對是本小姐假期空閒，自己寫自己爽，絕對沒有別的意思。

Negaraku Malaysia I love thee~~~

2009-07-10T10:49:00.004+10:00

A culture you won't find elsewhere.
For those who can't read Malay, it says "No hawkers are allowed in this area. Fine RM3000".

PS: Malaysians have a lot of humour don't we? Imagine you are driving past after a tiring day at work a good laugh is all you need and this kind stall owner provides just that!

Source: Forwarded email from Choy Yin

On Michael Jackson's passing

2009-06-29T10:38:00.019+10:00

It surprised me when I stumbled on the news on Michael Jackson's death at age 50 (actuarial students would probably say: to be precise, it is age 50 last birthday...) when I was routinely searching for the latest EPL updates.

I wrote this on facebook just minutes ago:

I have to admit the Michael Jackson I knew before he died was a freak; an eccentric middle age man who was constantly unhappy with how he looked and tried relentlessly to look like a person he wasn't; a re*arded father who dangled his baby son over the balcony. It is only after some (toilet) reading of newspaper review of his life and some youtube search of his old videos that I realise he is a legend (on stage)!

and one of my online friends immediately replied he loved the old Jackson, the one who was his original self and not the man who was troubled and constantly caught the media's eyes for the wrong reason.

Celine Dion talked about Michael Jackson on the breaking news right after his death. I thought what she said on how Jackson fell from his stardom was spot on:

"I thought it was so unfortunate, Larry(the news broadcaster), because ... he was under pressure. I think we all live under pressure differently. We live under pressure because we want to give the audience and the fans what they look forward, what they expect. We wanna do a better album, we wanna do a better show. I think Michael Jackson lived under pressure all the time, since he was five years old, wanting to please his family, his fan, and putting the bar so high... that even like, he needed to be surpassing his own belt. And I think it's so unfortunate that the pressure was so tremendous, I am so sure that if you only live under pressure and you don't have something, your family, your husband, your wife, your children, I mean, he probably had so much but he didn't have the balance."

Michael Jackson said he was used to being beaten by his father when he was a young boy on Oprah Winfrey's show. Michael Jackon began his journey to stardom back when he was a five-year-old boy, performing with his brothers. To me, the sentiments he showed when singing those hits were not expected from a pre-puberscent boy. They were not lullabys, not songs like Old Macdonald Had A Farm...the songs were about heartbreaks, about anger, about love. These are undoubtedly emotions of an adult. He had outgrown his age. He was literally....an adult singer notwithstanding his age.

What came after his peak were a series of events which put him under constant criticism from the mainstream media. He seemed unhappy to be a black and changed his physical appearance through plastic surgeries (he looked like crap after that, to me at least), he was accused of paedophilia, and child abuse when he notoriously held his baby son over the balcony etc. Sadly, these are what definine Michael Jackson to me. I see Michael Jackson as a freak, a weirdo, an outdated celebrity, a mentally retarded monster. It is until his death when I read all the news review and listened to his music on youtube that I see the reason behind the huge population of fans of his worldwide - you've got to admit that he is a star, no matter you like him or otherwise.

I strongly believe that his early rise to the limelight is what took his life, not just "life" in the sense of the ability to breathe, but also the normalcy that you and I take for granted all the time. From what I can see from the omnipresent reviews on Michael Jackson's life journey, he was not normal. He didn't have a normal childhood, teenage years, marriage, adult life ... Just like how Celine Dion puts it, he didn't have the BALANCE to everything he had: fame, celebrity status, admiration, expectation from his fan ...

Coincidentally I was having this conversation with a friend on how people have different intelligence level and whether this is 'fair' as intelligent people tend to work less hard and score better academically. Michael Jackson's life story tells me something: God gives all of us different gifts. Some people may have more gifts than the others. However it is up to us to use what we have to sketch our life journey, whether that means an exceptional roller-coaster ride with highs and lows or an ordinary track with simple happiness, or a delicate balance between the two extreme end of the continuum. It is never a question of 'fairness'. There is always a trade-off to everything.

The damage done by spotlights - The Susan Boyle drama

2009-06-04T10:04:00.014+10:00

It's strange that I'm blogging about Susan Boyle on my birthday instead of exclaiming my excitement at joining the '21 club'. Yea of course I am happy, and guess what it's the last day of uni for this semester! (but that means exams are scarily near!)

I knew right after the finale of Brittain's got talent that Susan Boyle lost. I am not a fan of her. I think she's good but not good enough for me to become a die-hard fan for. I prefer listening to Celine Dion instead. (Recently I started on Jason Mraz too, thanks to all my frens who continuously praise his great-ness at his recent concert in Sydney.

I feel sorry for Susan. Before the reality show she is a nobody - an unemployed, 'a virgin that is never been kissed before' (I'm just quoting Susan), suffered from some health complication when she was an infant, live only with her cat etc. And out of the sudden, everyone is watching her first performance at Brittan's got talent on Youtube. >50 million hits for heaven's sake! If that's not called sudden fame, I wonder what is?!

When the first wave of Susan craze greets the world I secretly wish she will put it all through. The pressure from the millions of her fans, the scrutiny of worldwide mass media, the unrealistic expectation from her audience. People seem to forget that she is only just a HUMAN, like you, me, all of us! She is bound to react what a normal human will to things like...unceasing disruption and pressure from the media. Come on human beings on earth, we err, we make mistakes, and we constantly improve ourselves, NONE OF US IS PERFECT! But the expectation put on Susan Boyle is that she is akin to a God, her voice is from "heaven" and she HAS to win the competition to justify her instant fame.

I'm quite sure when she decided to join the competition she was just wanting to be heard, to be noticed, to be recognised that she is not a nobody, and her life is not worthless. She succeeded in touching the heart of millions of people in the world, people who are labeled a 'failure' start to see hope after Susan's rise to the limelight. I am touched by her courage - a plain looking middle age woman working hard to pursue her dream - though I'm not that much into her singing (coz I prefer Celine Dion lol!). But I want to see her put through all the hurdles, I want to see her succeed in life, not just in the competition. I want to see her becoming a more confident person than she was before and realising she can do something with her life, as the world recognises her voice.

Weeks later, I read the news on her falling popularity in Britian due to her 'strange behaviour', which I am pretty sure is due to pressure from the media and her fans. And after that, the news on her 'disappointing' performance that make her on runners-up instead of the Champion in the show is on almost every daily paper, celebrity magazines on earth. Hey isn't that already a great achievement? Why MUST she be crowned champion to be appreciated? Is taking the runners-up a shame? a disgust?

See that's the toll of unrealistic expectation. That's exactly the reason behind all the stories on 'falling stars', 'falling genius' that I have seen and read so often in the past. Had they been given the time like everyone else, had they been allowed to progress in a healthy pace, had they been given the right to live a normal childhood, had they been given a normal brought-up, they will do well.

But......the damage has been done. She swore in the public (actually many of us do, but we often get away with it coz we are nobody, and Susan is somebody) and that event condemned her to rapidly declining popularity and criticism from the WORLD. Can you just imagine what sort of pressure that would be? Can you imagine yourself being finger-pointed by strangers, being called silly names because of how you look and how disappointed they are at mistaken you as a admirable person?

Was her second singing of "I Dreamed a Dream" better than her first? I would definitely say YES! But many of her fans just won't feel it anymore, because her image is tainted by her outburst before the finale. For many, Susan is no longer their idol because of the swearing that shock the world who once saw her as an innocent middle-age woman who was strong, cheerful and adorable.

She must be really miserable now. Her fame doesn't do her any good, apart from the short-lived popularity. But still, I believe that her heart is as pure as gold and the outburst was totally unintentional. She just happened to be irritated and acted irrationally, without knowing the extent of the public pressure she would face later on.

Be strong Susan, and the storm will be over soon.

GLP Cross-cultural Colloquium

2009-05-25T18:39:00.008+10:00

It wasn't the best time, at all. I had an assignment to hand in before 4.00pm today, a quiz to submit before 5pm, gloomy sky which suggested carrying an encumbrance human call umbrella as the chance of raining is real. The great me signed up for a colloquium which started at 2pm few weeks ago thanks to two occurrences of canceled colloquium due to the convenor "feeling unwell".

But surprisingly, I found myself enjoying the three hours instead, despite receiving tonnes of negative feedbacks from friends who had done the colloquium before and obviously weren't happy with the way it was conducted.

The convenor did a great job at engaging us, stirring up numerous discussions that were very very relevant to cultural complexities that arise when we become more 'global'. Should we have the right to offend people? When we have two people with conflicting cultures who should adapt and which culture should dominate?

The problems that arise from different cultural values are far from obvious. A question that leaves myself wondering is how willing I am to let my (future) children to adopt the Australian culture (some of which I could not find myself accepting), if I were to stay on and live here? It's easy to take a stance in principle, either to enforce my own cultural values from my home country, or to just completely let go and let them do whatever the environment dictates, but in reality both are just too extreme and a balance ought to be taken. The million dollar question is, where is the delicate balance here?

Observing the people around me tells me they are different from myself, even if they are ethnically the same as I am (i.e. Chinese) or even if they are originally from my home country (ie. Malaysia). The way ABC's behave and carry themselves around are just not like us, who are born and raised in another country. I've got to admit at least theoretically that immigrants should adapt to the culture of whichever country they chose to live in, after all that's the choice they have made. But how easy is that?

80% of Australians speaks English and only English. Some knew a tad bit about their mother tongue but they are far from being fluent in it. It's been an emotional issue, in particular when we put ourselves in the shoes of their parents who may (secretly or openly) wish that their children grow up to be just like them, with the religion and values they themselves hold to. In the colloquium there were quite a number of people with immigrant parents saying that they have conflicts with their parents, often over issues which stem from a cultural intolerance. I guess one common scenario is that Asian parents sometimes don't want their kids to date with people from another cultural background (in particular, the Caucasian) but their kids just fall in love with someone who don't fit the definition of their parents' ideal future son/daughter-in law.

Oh well, there is no right or wrong answer or one-size-fit-all solution to this problem, and this problem won't go away as long as there is still a constant flow of immigrants into Australia seeking a 'better' life. The refugee problem is quite an issue now, though what concerns me the most is the Commonwealth government policy to cut the number of skilled-immigrants LOL.

I have to admit that the temptation of staying on in Australia after our tertiary education is strong, for almost every international student. It's a good place to live and work after all. But immigration is getting hard these days.

Who knows what will happen next.

So I break my self-set spending rules for 2 days

2009-04-22T08:20:00.007+10:00

Hey hey!

I know, it is like ages since I last blogged. Pretty lazy these days to actually start writing despite being in the much-needed mid-sem break of my first semester. Uni was hectic for the first half so I think it's good timing to pause and rest for two weeks before the much crazier second half comes by(I have utmost confidence it will be a lot crazier--> statisticians would say there is no 100% confidence in this world but I'm very very sure about it).

Harvin came down to Sydney all the way from her "kampung place of working" for her graduation. Bravo I would say coz she actually planned out her trip so nicely despite the hurdles in the public sector, oh you know how those people can sometimes be extremely annoying in granting approvals for what is seen as 'reasonable causes' for a leave. It was really nice spending time being a 'shopping advicer' for two days, catching up on the recent events in M'sia, gossips among the Cohort 2 TESL people (LOL), see how she is now being an official cikgu, and also practise my skill in converting everything in dollars into ringgit hahaha. I guess that pretty much makes up for it as I won't be able to attend the graduation ceremony due to my up-coming Hunter Valley trip.

I wonder how am I gonna cope with working in M'sian public sector one day when I need to go back to serve out my contract? Sometimes I just wish I were a self-sponsored with everything in my hand, choices of career path, companies I want to work in, the task that I am passionate with etc etc. But the reality is my family can never ever afford an overseas education (not even if they take out a loan, honestly) without any subsidy, thus I really should count myself lucky for making it to Australia for my tertiary education.

If it weren't for the likes of Ng Yi Liang etc who scored well in SPM 2004 and appealed very hard to JPA on their rejected JPA scholarship application, and Datuk Seri Ong Ka Ting who fought hard to obtain additional places for us (I don't care if he did it out of political considerations or not, the fact is he DID it), I would probably end up completing my A-levels under ASEAN scholarship and be stuck in S'pore for uni and career. I do like S'pore very much, but I was more keen at that time to take up an opportunity in Australia coz it's a western country.

For now I honestly don't feel like leaving university yet! Life being a uni student is just oh so good --> most important realisation from my 2-month internship at CIMB last year. There are many out there who can't wait to leave uni and start earning $$$. Different people I guess, but not me.

In a strange way, I love Macquarie University despite the crazy workload every semester. Stressing over an up-coming test, struggling to catch up with the pace of lecture & tutes, 'admiring in awe' the different styles and personalities in the Department of Actuarial Studies and insane students who are so not like human (e.g. W.h.Choo, L. Nichols, J. Poon etc). On a lighter note, the GLP program has so much fun, sadly I don't always have the time and $$$ to join their exciting program and meet more people. I wish I could have gone on a volunteer program, or join their overseas symposium or go on a short-term exchange, but only manage to go for a Canberra one which is much less expensive than the others :( Ultimately, $$$ still matters. Sigh.

Post-entry: GLP Symposium to Canberra

2009-03-26T15:33:00.010+11:00

March 2009 GLP Symposium to Canberra

I'm back to Sydney from the trip on Sunday, but only manage to make an entry today, thanks to:

1. ACST300 and ACST 356 quiz which I hadn't done any before the trip and was obviously freaking out on Sunday night.

2. My frantic attempt of catching up with the the task I would've done should I not be in Canberra over the weekends e.g. reading lecture materials etc

3. My totally packed university schedule !

Many people gave me that kinda surprised look when I told them I was gonna visit Canberra for a second time in two years. Whether it qualifies as a 'boring' place really does depend on the attitude you carry there.

The fact that I skipped a day of class and had to forgo my weekends for this Symposium itself will set it different from all my other trips to other places. There are hell lots of stuff to catch up on since I am back, million of thanks to my taking third year actuarial studies. So the sacrifice is big, how stupid I would've be if I hadn't made the best out of this symposium.

I guess the most valuable thing I gained is the experience of getting along with people from all sorts of background. This may sound simple, in fact I'd come across with many people who claim themselves as a 'people person' who can talk and socialize with anyone. But the thing is, are these people REALLY wanna get to know the others? Or are they doing so merely to prove the fact that they are sociable? I think it's human nature to find it hard to genuinely love talking to another person from a very different background e.g. non-domestic Chinese talking to Caucasian, when the two possess possibly conflicting values on life. It takes lots of effort, and lots of positive attitude to actually engage and sustain a good conversation --> by saying this I mean conversations that stretch beyond the standard courteous lines like "How have you been?","What course are you doing?""Do you like your course?How do you find it?" etc etc. Of course these are what we'll usually start off with but to me a successful interaction with another person is to share on something more, such as cultural values, family values, career/life goals etc. I guess that is the main point of organizing on GLP's side of organising this event.

It was a great pleasure getting to know the other participants of the trip. I've kinda amazed with some of the way of thinking and attitude carried by people not from a commerce background. They are such a fun bunch of people to be honest. I sat next to Daniel, an 18- year-old Art student during dinner on the last night, and he was absolutely amazing at talking about himself. He is so passionate about politics and globalisation that he just couldn't stop talking about it, and most importantly, he actually started to make me see the interesting part of this area which I previously consider as 'dead and boring'.

One interesting conversation I had was with two exchange girls from Canada. They obviously have Malaysian housemate(s) who told them "Malaysian Government won't actually let the nons choose their universit degree" and were keen to find out the statement's truthfulness from me. It took me sometime to explain to them what 'Affirmative Action' means and why it is happening to Malaysia. These two girls have been on exchange shortly after they started their degree and the places they had travelled so far will make you go like 'Wow! I wish I had that chance'. Interestingly, they became vegetarian after reading some books, and hate clubbing (they told me that at Pancake Parlour after I admitted that I am not a clubbing person). One girl went like "I just don't understand why people like that. You're just making a fool of yourself!"-->I give 5 stars to this line.

On the third night I went out for a failed attempt of finding 7-eleven with 3 girls from China. Two of them are master students who did well in their previous job and are seeking more knowledge and opportunities in Australia. Another girl is doing her final year of Finance. They are not the typical mainlander who are shy and would not talk to people from another nationality. We hang out at one of the girl's unit and chatted on pretty much everything under the sun, from Chinese cultures, how difficult to make friends with some local people who are not open-minded enough to accept differences between people, gossips, what we plan to progress to after our degree etc etc. It was so much more fun than going to a club!

Some people just love drinking. I'm curious as to whether they really like alchohol and dance etc or are they liking it just to be accepted by their peers. I personally don't see the fun of excessive drinking. You get drunk and get into trouble and spend heaps of money on unnecessary things that wouldn't add any values to you as a person. Moderate drinking is fine (wine is the best!) but I just don't appreciate some guys asking the whole group to get drunk together --> as if we know you people enough to do that?!

I am not gonna talk at length on the places I went on this trip (coz it's not too much different from my previous visit!), it is not the most important thing I gain from this trip anyway.

The only three things worth mentioning are the Parliament House, the War Memorial and Glenloch Farm. The Parliament is what I thought I have not had enough last time. The greatest event of this symposium was sitting in the Chamber of House Representatives. It was so much fun watchin a Parliament live! I got to see Kevin Rudd! He was awesome with his speech and great at debates. No wonder he is the Prime Minister of Australia.

This is real democracy!

War Memorial was amazing as well, but sadly we didn't get enough time to complete the tour. Oh how much I love the tour guide. He is a volunteer at War Memorial and has a father who worked in Australian army in the 60s and 70s. I like the way he introduced us to all the past wars that Australian had engaged in and managed to make it not sound like a boring history lesson.

No wonder Australian tourism is one of the best in the world. They really have good tour guides.

Lastly about Glenloch Farm, I'll let the pirctures tell the story.
"Ladies, we're gonna strip you off one day!"

"I told you...." She is naked!

Not the forget: Special thanks to Jason, Kaixun and Suyin for arranging a meet-up at Pancake Parlour. The pancakes suck to the tiniest bit BUT it was great to see you guys remaining the fastastic bunch I know from our SAM days!

GLP Symposium - Canberra

2009-03-18T22:21:00.003+11:00

During summer holiday, I posted one or two entries a month and thought it was reasonable, coz the internet connection at my home is simply toooooo slow. But somehow the laziness builds up and right now in Sydney where I have fairly quick internet speed I am still posting an entry a month. 懶人就是懶人。

Tomorrow I am going on a trip with GLP to Canberra. It's gonna be my second visit there (and I haven't thought that would actually happen after my first trip there two years ago). But hey, here I am heading to the capital city of Australia, this time not as a visitor but a DELEGATE. Sounds cool? Yea, that is how Bec, Anneke and Chloe (GLP team) called us. Jim Farmer must be like 'wow!' when we showed him the letter from Bec Forrester which refers to us as delegates....damn important you know!

Paid $470 for the trip of 4 days 3 nights. It has increased by $90 from last year due to reduced government subsidy on Macquarie University I s'pose. But overall I am still pretty happy with the itinerary and would look forward to seeing Canberra again, this time not just from the tourism side. We are going to watch a Parliament siting, LIVE! Wow, isn't that cool? (I was darn envious that time when KaiXun told us how many times he has sat in for n times, I finally got to do it myself).

Besides, would be keen to catch up with some of the old mates from my college days. KaiXun, Jason, SuYin (did I miss out anyone? sorry my memory is bad). Fellow Taiping ppl Yeam is there too, as well as some of those that I got to know when they visited Sydney.

Summer holiday is over =(

2009-02-23T14:24:00.002+11:00

I'm back in Sydney since yesterday morning, local time 0745. Had the most pleasant flight ever. No delay. No unnecassary waiting. No boredom at the airport and on the aircraft. No sucky aircraft food. And lots of pretty sexy cabin crew members.

Though I'd stayed in S'pore for 6 months before, it was my first time inside Changi Airport, and it amazes me to bits. Everything is so good. Excellent surroundings with lots of real trees and flowers around the airport and the fake ones inside the buildings. Lots of colourful, comfortable sofas for the tired passengers like myself. And oh not to forget the fast and most importantly free wifi, no wonder I was not bored at all waiting for about 4 hours before my connecting flight. The new Terminal 3 is so canggih. Everywhere in the airport, water bottle filler is sensor-based.

I was lucky to get a huge, new airbus aircraft. Everything is new. The seat, the gadgets, the entertainment set (that small TV in front of each seat). There are lots of good movies, TV series, games, documentaries, tourist info programmes, music albums etc. Even the remote control is new.

Thanks to the entertainment kit I only slept for 3 hours on the plane. I collapsed on my bed the moment I arrived at MUV. Slept for another 2 hours. Woke up to do some laundry as my bed sheets, pillow case etc were hell dusty after 3 months untouched. Slept again before going shopping for some food to keep myself alive.

This morning: Tried to readjust my bio clock back to aussie time. Didn’t quite succeed, only woke up at 9am (or 6am in Malaysia). I slept till 10am each morning after ending my internship. So 9am is not bad really. Wash-up abit, ate my brunch which is a cincai-lly made gonlou-min.

Then off I went to spend my money, huge sum, $150 for first Gandarsil vaccination. It is to prevent cervical cancer and I will have to fork out that money for two more times later on. Heart pain for the money, but health is priceless!

Well, after that it’s history. I’m sitting in front of my desk, cursing the unstable internet connection, typing this in word document before copying and pasting it on blogger when the line comes back.

I'll do with a little update (boss is not around)

2008-12-23T11:40:00.016+11:00

Met a new intern from Equity Investment & Trading during lunch time. Pretty happy to chat with ppl in a similar position as myself. She looked quite raw, well, just like myself in my first and second week. Funny thing is, she saw me talking to Sze Huey on facebook and asked me if I know her lol.

I realise how much I've settled in this new environment of working with people who are constantly rushing to finish their job. Investment banking ppl are all like that, so said my mentor. They work like dogs (not in a negative way, just means they work like crazy).

Assistant director in my department asked me during lunch what specialisation I'm looking at for my actuarial degree, and I couldn't give a specific answer. To be honest I don't have a clear idea yet. What I know is I'm liking my course much, though occasionally I still grumble about how much work, tests and exams we face each and every semester.

Never really believe that student life is way more stress-free as compared to working routine in a big city, until recently I am starting to re-consider the truthfullness of the statement.

Yesterday Tho Kin (my buddy aka mentor) asked me to help with a spreadsheet, which proves to be the most annoying spreadsheet I had seen so far in my life! Guess it's coz I'm not the person who developed it and thus unclear with how all the links work in the spreadsheet,.a simple task of aggregating the monthly totals make me feel like ripping off the computer screen. I duno why every time I tried to insert a column in seemingly unrelated parts some numbers in other places change. Very pek-cek I tell you. And yet this is probably miniscule as compared to the stress level they are facing everyday.

Being intern is fun in that you're shielded from the 'harsh reality' of the level of stress and workload you will be exposed to in real enployment. What I do are just bits and pieces of a much larger project, while my poor colleagues have to put up with never-ending pressure from their superiors.

They told me their work are never finished, they stayed back in the office to as late as 5am (note, it's am), they sleep every working night without having dinner, they rarely have enough sleep ("sleeping is a luxury", so said), they have to face mountains and mountains of work each day, and never know when their superiors will pop up and ask: "Have you finished xxx that I gave you that day?".

I asked them don't they want a life. They told me to work in investment banking is to marry to your work, and you should only enter a job if you feel you could stand it without going crazy. So true.

Been busy with work

2008-12-17T16:05:00.004+11:00

Some quick updates:

1. CIMB landslide happened on just my forth day at work. We are forced to move into a new location in PJ state, which is not too bad a location as an LRT station is just nearby :) However, we will be packing and moving back n christmas eve. (darn, why not we just stay on?)

2. Internship is really.....a great way to pass my holiday (Seriously?) .Yes, it's far better than fooling around and do nuts.

3. I really need to go back to work. My philosophy is : TO FINISH EVERYTHING AS FAST AS I COULD, AND SAU DONG AT 530pm SHARP. LOL

Special Situation Investment?? How special

2008-12-01T13:52:00.007+11:00

Day 1 at CIMB Internship:

Uncle suggested that we leave early to avoid the congestion around Damansara, so I agreed to it.

We reached CIMB at 7.15am when Angeline actually asked me to report only at 8.30am. But good thing is we managed to find our way to the library of the CIMB knowledge and training centre. At least a place to sit down and read while waiting for the minutes to pass.

Skipping through the details of filling in forms, listenin to the welcome notes etc...

Apparently I am in for a special internship programme called "structural internship" where I am paired with a mentor for this two month programme. He's a nice person.

So I followed him to the department I am posted: SPECIAL SITUATIONS INVESTMENT at CIMB Investment Bank. What a name!

A natural question is : What on earth are SPECIAL SITUATIONS?

Apparently it works just like a unit-trust but at a much larger scale. Each investor contributes millions of money and the bank will do the investment part of it. Investments are usually on equities, where the largest returns usually come from. 20% p.a is the bare minumum that would attract the bank's interest. He said it is common in the industry to see returns on equity of at least (usually larger) 20% and I went like "WOW!". That just proves how unrealistic the numbers used in ACCG253.

This department deals with the cases where companies can't obtain funds elsewhere (from bank loans), mainly due to high leverage, lack of bank confidence on new products/ideas or industry etc. Essentially they have no access to debt-financing which is a much cheaper option with returns approx 6-8% pa. When that is the case these desperate companies will turn to equity-financing, more precisely equity financing from big institutions like CIMB to help raise investor's confidence.

There are much research work to be done due to the risky nature of these ventures. I have a stack of research work on my hand now that i believe is not the thickest my mentor has ever done. Page after page are descriptions of immense details on how the palm oil industry is performing worldwide and in Malaysia. The information is overwelming and it shows how careful the bank is at selecting the investment it is going to invest big bucks. Knowingly, it is a matter of millionssssss.

I guess the whole idea is to invest when the company's share is undervalued and sell it, say, 5 years later when the share price adjusts to where it should be (the bank obviously believe that it would be much higher), and expect to get at least 20% return.

Basically, I think I will get a glimse on a highly competitive investment market along the way of this programme. So far I like it.

爲什麽你那麽傻？

2008-11-14T14:20:00.005+11:00

上午看到黎礎寧自殺的新聞我整個人呆住了！她是我看星光三拉拉以外最喜歡的選手了。好心痛的感覺。礎寧你怎麽那麽衝動啊？

她父親說是過不了情関。

你有沒有想過這樣做對愛你的家人、朋友、歌迷所帶來的傷痛阿？朋友歌迷可能過一陣子就淡忘了，但是疼愛你的家人這一輩子都不可能忘記，這種痛是一輩子的你懂嗎？

惋惜你的走的同時我也覺得你當時的念頭好自私，我明白你想要擺脫情傷，但你就捨得爲了自己而讓愛你的家人扛這一輩子的傷痛嗎？

你知道嗎？這個世界有很多很多比你不幸的人，爲了生存下去勇敢地與死神拼搏，癌症病患，等待肝臟的病人，窮困地帶爲了尋找一口飯的人，戰亂地區尋找一個棲身地的人etc etc.....好多人爲了一個簡單的“存活”展現了堅強的意志、生命力，就連動物也爲了生存在垂死邊緣頑強地拼搏。

他們多想擁有你所擁有的百分之一，而你卻選擇放棄自己，放棄家人，放棄朋友歌迷。

我真的為你的死感到難過，雖然你根本不認識我。

不知道現在的你有沒有在後悔自己當時的決定，但我還是誠心希望你安息，黃泉路上好走。

給所有的人共勉之：請珍惜自己的生命，為您親愛的人着想。

一個學期最變態的時候

2008-10-19T17:06:00.002+11:00

本小姐最近怎麽樣了？兩個字概括，就是：很忙！
讀精算的就是要言簡意賅。

STUPID HOT WEATHER!!!!!

2008-10-02T15:24:00.005+10:00

Went to Eastwood (the last time I went there was....when? Can't recall) to buy groceries and try out the "hot, steaming egg tarts" my housemate victor loves so much that he bought six on his every visit. The last time I bought the eggtart was so pathetically cold and I was complaining "what kinda eggtart is this that you can't resist buying six every time", and he went like " no, no, no, you've got to eat when it is freshly baked cuz when it's hot and you're hungry you would then understand my passion for eggtarts". Oh well, I finally went for it when it's "hot and steaming" (I actually asked the eggtart girl how long I need to wait for the freshly made batch and came back after 20 minutes, as she told me to). True enough, it tastes good when I was yearning for hot food to fill my poor tummy.

And I was cursing the sun, the hot dry summerish weather even after I indulged myself with two fresh eggtarts. Luckily I managed to find a seat at a shady spot. Two ABC little girls sat beside me (I presume they are waiting for their parents who were busy shopping) each holding a box of DEEP-FRIED chicken nuggets and a big packet of HOT CHIPS. I was thinking like, " Wow you two puny chicks can really finish that much FATTENING FOOD ar? Sure boh, don't tell me those are your lunch. " While they were munching on those deep-fried fastfood they had a reasonably loud conversation with English curses that I previously wouldn't imagine coming out from two young girls of primary school age. See what westernisation can do.

If you're wondering I AM STILL SUFFERING from the HEAT right now. Super tulan-ed, why can't I have air-con in my room??? My fan on maximum speed is doing little help. Today's return bus trip from Eastwood was one of the most enjoyable because the air-conditioner worked well.

The locals will think otherwise, but no doubt summer is my least favourite season in Australia. So strange.

Random thoughts

2008-09-25T09:06:00.006+10:00

As you would have noticed by now I'm blogging so much less often than before. Since I took up the free-lance writing job last month all my time for writing went for my boss. *sob sob. Could hear my blog crying in protest. But what can I do? I don't have unlimited time. But I'll try as far as I can to not let this space fall into dead silence for more than a month.

I had joined the Macquarie Uni Global Leadership Programme,at the spur of the moment together with my three other housemates. As a result, we are required to attend 10, yes 10, colloquium (or workshops I would say), each lasts 3 hours! Simple math tells you that the total is 30 hours! There you go, you just saw one more reason that stops me from writing too often here. I've registered for 3 this semester and that means a good 9 hours would be spent in the boring, poorly-ventilated W5C 335 (yea, it was poorly-ventilated yesterday during the first half). We sendiri cari pasal (We asked for it), you may think. Oh well, guess we're all just being kiasu. LOL

Chatted with my younger sister that day on MSN. Can you believe that it's only September and she has already finished with her UPSR exam and is lazying around at home, and she even picked up on MSN at the age of 12! God knows how old I was when I first used ICQ chatroom and subsequently MSN. See how technology-savvyGeneration Z is as compared to Generation Y. Well, officially me and my brother are Generation Y while my sis is Generation Z, according to official definition I read from Sydney Morning Herald sometime ago.

My sis was telling me her tuition teacher is recently diagnosed with a tumour in her uterus. I was like, Oh my God this is so scarry. We all know how common cancer is in today's over-pampered world. We eat all sorts of rubbish food and as a result our health deteriorates. I know that teacher is quite a nice person from my bro and sis who are taught by her. Fingers crossed, I hope she stays strong and put through the hardship and emerged as a survivor at the end.

A gentle reminder is struct. Life is so uncertain that you wouldn't know what's gonna happen next. I can still vividly remember the incidence last year where Nian Ning, one fellow JPA scholar, passed away in an accident. I remember how my housemates told me about the friendship they had with her and how sad they felt after her passing. Always count yourself lucky for being still alive and cherish every single day that you have，no matter the hurdles you're facing in life you are still luckier than alot more people in this world.

Sorry for the long silence

2008-09-13T11:21:00.002+10:00

I know, I know， this space hasn't been updated for some time already. Blame who? ECON201, STAT271, ACST255.

Yes, blame the units I'm taking in this semester. So much to catch up every week, one tute exercise after another to keep me busy, assignments now and then to worry about, and not to forget a test next week for ECON201.

Plus, more worries about internship applications. Frankly speaking I'm in a huge dilemma. For two possible outcomes (STAT271 stuff rubs on me rather often, blame it not me）：Getting the offer and not getting the offer. This is a obviously a Bernoulli (p) distributed random variable. You can go on and test the hypothesis etc but I shall stop here before readers start switching to some other web page in protest.

Yes, so where was I....Oh yea, if I get an offer, I would need to worry about HOW ON EARTH　AM I GONNA WORK　IN KL?? ie. accommodation, transport to and fro work. If I don't get an offer, I would feel very kiasu because some of my friends will get it (based on the law of large number, the probability of at least 1 friend of mine get the offer converges to one). *Argh, not stats stuff again...

So what could I do? Nothing, just wait and see. Before the internship application outcome is out, lets take a deep breathe-in and forget about it (temporarily).

三首被我莫名其妙地喜歡的歌

2008-08-30T23:40:00.004+10:00

星光三冠軍徐佳瑩的自創曲：

這個人的歌很奇怪，聼一次覺得ok而已，按repeat一次覺得：“Erm....還不錯啦”，如果再repeat一次就會越聼越喜歡，然後就會拼命重播。

哎。。。。爲了方便自己我把它們放在這兒，沒事干的人可以試聼下。
第一首：圓舞曲

第二首：白旗

第三首：最後一面

How I spent my saturday

2008-08-24T11:37:00.011+10:00

It's been a while since the last time I wrote about my "dead routine life as an actuarial student at Macquarie University", hence I figure this post would not be as boring as the last one with similar topic. The law of 'infrequence brings excitement" (you know how I love to bullshit about purported 'words of wisdom' ).

Anyways, I was up from bed at 7.30am, a typical waking up time for each Saturday for the one and only reason: because I wanted to go for fitness instructor Narelle's fatburner class. Seriously, she's easily 60++ but she's still as fit as a tigress. Knee-up run, muscle training, steps, push-up, crunches .... a 60-something-year-old-lady can do all these, better than most of the youngsters. She does look fit with her well-toned body despite , shh..., her wrinkles and all that.

Finished fatburner class at 10.00am. Reached home and bathed while thinking hard on what I should have for lunch (since I've depleted my stock of bread, tomatoes, carrots what else could I do with?)

The answer came pretty fast : Continental instant satay rice. A voice inside me screamed: That is freakin' unhealthy!! Another voice replied: Else? You wanna starve?

My health-conscious self gave in. I took that packet (full of unhealthy seasoning) out from my cupboard and started cooking.

At 4.30pm I started dressing up for MGM. We were supposed to be ready at the bus stop by 4.45pm but knowing that Malaysians don't normal make it at the time 'they are supposed to' I didn't expect punctuality from my housemates and the others. I think by the time the bus left MUV it was already 5.15pm. Yes, our time is indeed half-an-hour late! Accurately.

One thing was I didn't bother to even look at the ticket the time I bought it, hence I had no idea at all regarding the required attire, which was formal or traditional. Nah, it's not like I would follow if I knew it before hand though. Despite my non-nonchalance many did dress up properly especially the guys who put on blazer and tie etc. Well, I told them they looked like future CEO of a casino or some corporation like that.

We reached UNSＷ 20 minutes later because our bus didn't stop like its public counterparts do. The weather wasn't kind to usl, it was freezing COLD outdoor. Despite having three layers inside me I could still feel my fingers being numb. Anyway, it wasn't all gloomy as we were heading for a buffet serving Malaysian food which many of us were missing awfully. Although it didn't start on time ( as usual, our time is half-an-hour late) but it was a sumptuous meal. I took 2 serving as my stomach was churning like crazy because I just had satay rice for the whole day.

Love the satay and ketupat, bryiani rice and a variety of meat cooked with spices. Well I won't say the standard was up to what we could get in Malaysia (that is never going to happen) but wow I did realise how much I miss home and a large part of it came from FOOD.

Having the experience of stuffing myself up to 101% and thus losing my ability to walk fast on Chen Chin's birthday, I was careful enough to only fill up 95% of my stomach lol.

After eating we headed to the Science Theatre to watch the performance which was theoretically the main reason people buy their tickets (though I never doubt most of them appreciate the food much more than the show, just like myself). To be honest it was an average one without too much extra-ordinary acting, nonetheless good effort to the group of UNSW Malaysians. The funniest part was this altered song and the scene where Ameen acting as a working father dated his 'bimbo secretary'.

I got to know two TESL girls who are ex-college mates of my high schoolmate Felicia. They were such cam whores. One funny comment asked by myself with a semi-retarded tone was: The same 'scenery' (note that we were nowhere interesting but in the bus), same human, why you need to take like n times??? They giggled for almost 10 seconds and replied, "Now you know the difference between us and Actuarial students". Seriously, they might be right. Or maybe not. They get high utility by taking the same photos, us being busier with life prefer to do some other thing, such as sitting still and watching them syiok-sendiri with amusement.

It was a fun night!

星光三總決賽

2008-08-17T15:17:00.009+10:00

徐佳瑩拿第一，林芯儀第二：沒有任何出乎預料的東西發生，排名根本就和積分賽的一模一樣。

個人是一直都喜歡佳瑩拉，開始很不喜歡芯儀那個苦瓜臉，後來習慣了也就不以爲然了。

表演方面覺得芯儀輸在“華而不實”的表演，同意王偉忠說的就像Beijing Olympic Games 的Opening ceremony,感覺很厲害但不會由衷地喜歡。

佳瑩的聲音就是很舒服，很乾淨，很圓潤，沒有芯儀的那種殺氣power但又會讓喜歡的人瘋狂。費玉清出道以來三十多年喜歡他的人就是喜歡他很乾淨滑潤溫柔猶如美酒佳肴的那種歌喉，我就是其中一個，常被人說你幹嗎喜歡聼那麽老土的歌。hey告訴你，人家出道三十多年還有那麽多瘋狂歌迷，很厲害叻！

話説回來覺得徐佳瑩的創作歌曲，令我為之瘋狂的只有《身騎白馬抒情版》（的確很驚艷），讓我琅琅上口覺得好聽的是《圓舞曲》（沖涼的時候不知不覺哼了曲子），剩下的《白旗》、《一樣的月光》，《失落沙洲》都還ok而已老實說,idea很有魅力但詞曲都只是above average,沒到非常好。我本來就不喜歡快歌（張惠妹的那種），覺得那種歌内容很膚淺，好像詞寫來只爲了押韻，曲故意很造作爲了就是配合跳舞，所以《香水》我覺得好看的是表演歌聲，不是歌本身。

反倒是她翻唱的一些歌我喜歡得很，像：

《心痛的感覺》-蘇芮
《愛情轉移》-陳奕訊
《我愛你》-盧廣仲

三首歌唱得非常有自己的味道！

瘋狂看了三季星光，真正喜歡的表演除了身騎白馬、圓舞曲、上面三首拉拉的歌，還有：

林宥嘉唱《你是我的眼》-蕭煌奇：我因此認識蕭煌奇這個傳奇（盲人）歌手
楊宗緯唱《背叛》-曹格：以前不怎麽喜歡這首歌的
楊宗緯唱《新不了情》：一絕！蕭敬騰的沒那麽好，太苦了。
王彥博，游鴻明合唱《戀上另一個人》-游鴻明：非常喜歡albert合的音，很有feel。
林雨宣唱《天天想你》-張雨生：就像子鴻說的，好誠懇的感覺。因此喜歡這首歌。
黎楚寧唱《Save me from myself》：整個比賽她最好的表現，有蔡琴低音的魅力。

就這樣，四班也不知道什麽時候開始，反正我都是從20強開始看的。

Hail the cheapskates.

2008-08-07T16:44:00.005+10:00

Couldn't believe my eyes. As I was carrying my groceries for the next 4 days just walking out from Woolworth supermarket, I saw:

2 ang-moh's, a guy and a girl. I presume that they were a couple. By the way, Woolies happened to have a sale on the lunch buns, which was selling 12 for $2.99. A pretty good deal I thought, from past experience. Also, canned tuna was selling 7 for $7.

The pair looked really joyous chit-chatting with one another. Dating sweetly, I suppose. They were sitting together at a table in the food court, with their laps stuck together, eating what you guess? Remember what I said about the special items?

You got it, smart. They were using the plastic knife provided in the foodcourt, cutting open a bun from the 12 pack, stuffing canned tuna on it, and ate the bun of course. Oh yeah, they did the cutting on a piece of tissue paper, also from the food court.

I thought cheapskates exist only among asians. The truth is, there are also some among the ang-moh's. Such an eye-opener.

Time to get back to normality

2008-08-03T20:28:00.003+10:00

Winter break is officially OVER.
From tomorrow onwards till the next long summer vacation, I shall

Start:

1. To be serious again. Subjects taken this semester includes STAT271 (the hardest unit in the entire actuarial degree), ECON201 (a 4-credit point, no play-play unit), and ACST255 (well, this is the first unit that focuses intensively on actuarial stuff)

2. My grand plan to lose weight after eating lots of junk food during holidays. Yeah, this holiday saw lots of indulgence on Doritos, Bulla ice-cream, Papa frozen pizza, wasabi peas etc. Say no to junk food for the new semester!

3. Eating stir-fried chicken, veggie and steamed rice for dinner.

Stop:

1. Sleeping at 1am every night to watch TVB drama series. You guess it, drama marathon is my main activity for the past 6 weeks. I know it's ridiculous.

2. Lazying around like a pig, walking slowly like a tortoise. There isn't much time to waste when student life is resumed.

3. Thinking that it is OK to wake up at 8.30am everyday. No, not when I have 4 days of morning classes in a week.

I can't believe that I actually look forward to the start of my new semester. One month is sufficient to get myself bored of drama series, that is when I start to miss uni life. Though I must admit that this fresh wave of enthusiasm will be soon replaced by constant stress on tutes, assignments, and exams.

新学期又要开始了

2008-07-31T10:18:00.007+10:00

漫长的假期终于要告一段落了，实在不敢相信六个星期这么一眨眼就过去了。哎，岁月不留人啊！一转眼又是一个新学期的开始，我的degree也都过了一半了，再撑一撑一个半年就毕业了。希望成绩好可以再读一年post-grad, 然后就真正要开始工作生涯。

很多人都这么说的，在大学的生活是最让人怀念的，而且这段时间的可贵总是在开始工作时才会体会到。也许吧！现在读书压力是有，但也算是除了课业压力之外无忧无虑。天天到健身房去出一些汗，偶尔和朋友到外边去花一花钱，开心一下，或者打一打工赚些pocket money来买东买西。

Second year的课业的确是比第一年难了很多，上学期的表现老实说我是不太满意，好像态度上有了一点散漫，忽视了一些致命的小细节。这次万万不可小看精算部门的科目，这些都是些老奸圆滑的老教授掌柜的，他们巴不得把labour supply 减少，让professional actuary的工资保持现在的顶点。真够奸的，最多negative marking的就是这些人批改的科目了，最少（其实是没有）consultation hour 的也是这些教授，最会‘锄’其他部门的也是他们。哎。。。现在会批评他们啦，以后也不知道会不会自己也变成那种人。

不过说实在的啦, 在这里看人看多了，也觉得真正的好人很难得。尤其是处于社会高层的人，能够谦虚低调不看不起别人的，越来越少。目前在这个领域最看得顺眼的就是Professor Pollard 了。他是非非非常常常顶尖的精算师，很多我们读的theory 和model都是他想出来的，这种人简直是赚钱
'湿湿水’，不过看他还对学生很好很谦虚，不会看不起international students，又不会太执著于赚钱，会带老婆用一辆小如kancil的车子环游亚洲，而且是到那种被人视为落后如伊朗印度的地方。超佩服这种勇气!

其他的人呢？有些就很自以为是看不起别的领域，有些就很看不起亚洲人，有些就很冷漠很不爱理会别人，有些就性情孤独不爱和别人打交道。。。。各种各样我都看过了，虽然只在这里一年半。
只能希望自己以后不要变样，厉害的人又怎样嘛？还不是要吃饭拉屎对不对？

总之我这个新学期一定要努力，天天向上！！！
很久没有这种semangat的feel了，这是个好的开始。

Notes on a Scandal

2008-07-28T14:55:00.012+10:00

This is a blockbuster hit in 2006, a movie that explores an unusual theme, a movie without a clear protagonist. A good one I would say. One that provokes thoughts on the darker side of humanity. You may notice by now that most of the movies I talked about in this space are the ones of this type. Plots that have a hero going through thick and thin to achieve a noble cause never fail to inspire and motivate, but the ones that take evil on stage without stirring up my disgust are what I would call admirable.

It all began with my routine surf on msn news as I had my breakfast. I do this everyday, but today's reading on msn health section brings something to my attention. An article advising about what a man should be aware of if his wife (a teacher) is getting unusually close with her male students. Yeah yeah, another piece of good advice from experts that stresses on how important is communication between husband and wife to make a marriage work. The article makes a reference to the movie 'Notes of a Scandal' to warn the confused husband about the possible consequences of indifference. Well, the title caught my interest. I clicked on the link out of curiosity, and the rest is history.

The story is presented via a voice narrating from a diary of Babara Covett, a 60-something spinster who is numb from her 35 - year career as a teacher in a supposedly well-established school. Being a lesbian (it wasn't stated explicitly in the movie but this is the message I got), she was gratified by what she thought was an "unusual connection" with a new teacher Sheba Hart, who was married to a man 16 years her senior. This Sheba, who was rather bored with her role as a mother to two troublesome kids and a wife to a seemingly unattractive old man, was in a secret intimate relationship with her 15-year-old male student Steven Connolly. While Sheba took Babara as an ordinary friend, Babara assumed "ownership" over Sheba's "loyalty" (such a bitch!). One day Babara caught Sheba having sex with the young boy, and got exasperated over Sheba's "betrayal" (who you think you are to own her?). Babara promised to keep the secret provided that Sheba could stop the relationship with the underaged boy. Sheba agreed but she broke her promise because she was getting increasingly needy of the "young towel of testosterone" (such a lusty description in the movie). Babara reveales the secret to a colleague who was interested to "commit an adultery" with Sheba out of jealousy and a feeling of betrayal, while pretending to know nothing when Sheba was admonished and despised by her family and the society. Babara offered Sheba accommodation and "companionship" when Sheba was on bail shortly after her arrest. Sheba eventually found out about the real intention of Babara to befriend her, shouting hysterically that she was not interested in a lesbian relationship with the old woman and was baffled at how things turned out after a seemingly innocent invitation for Babara to attend her family lunch to thank her for her help to stop a school fighting. Sheba was sentenced to 10 months of jail and returned to her family after that (I assume so based on a scene). The old lesbian bought a new notebook to record diary entries on her next target, who was also a young pretty lady. Sheba was not her first, and certainly not her last.

What a family destroyer! What a selfish and syiok-sendiri spinster who assumes others' extension of friendship indicates romantic (lesbian) seduction . What a repressive lesbian predator who cries over betrayal from other people but is blind to her own possessive characteristics! She lives a lonely life without long-term friendship because of who she is. Padan-muka.

Judi Dench did a great acting to make me despise Babara so much. Great effort from Cate Blanchett who played Sheba as well. Just lovin' the way hatred, jealousy, revenge, sex hunger, repression, obsession are portrayed in this movie that I didn't expect to come across at all this morning.

Shall we fly???

2008-07-27T17:41:00.007+10:00

Today is 27th July. Uni will start in about a week time from now. Yeah...good times will always come to an end (so will bad times actually, but this is not the point lol). I had better enjoy the last week of my winter break to the fullest so that I won't miss the 'holiday activities' aka drama series marathon when the new semester starts.

You probably guess it. Drama watching is what I've been doing for the past few days. Didn't start on drama series till the middle of July. I know all too well the addiction that comes with entering the world that doesn't belong to me, the joy and excitement upon following the life stories, the ups and downs of characters in the drama. Most of us like it, but we all know that it isn't the best thing to do when time is preciously scarce e.g. during an academic semester.

Ah Wai chatted with me while waiting for his pal before work. We talked about internship，again. Do we need interns experience? Absolutely beyond any doubt. But shall we get it? Can we get it?Where can we get it? How? These are the common questions that arise in a typical conversation about internship programme. As I told my other friend during an msn chat session, overseas students like us face a dilemma: We go back Malaysia at the end of the year to spend valuable time and catch up with our family members, is it wise then to work as an intern away from home (for those people like myself who don't stay close to KL)? We only see our parents, siblings and other relatives this time in a year, shall we spend so much of our time working instead?

I admit that I don't have an answer. The whole prospect of being an independent adult scares me. I remember being in kindergarten that day, playing rope games with my primary schoolmates that day, stressing out for SPM Biology exam that day, freaking out for SAM finals that day, and feeling like I just came to Australia that day, and just finished the last paper of first semester of 2008 that day. And now, my winter break is almost over. Time waits for no one. I feel that time moves even faster since I finished secondary school. Sometimes I can't really believe that it's been 4 years since I left school.

How much have I grown? I know a part of myself is still a kid. I still love to be dependent (sounds weird isn't it)? Or maybe I should put it another way: I like to be able to share my joy, sorrow, and life problems with family and friends, while keeping some little secrets to myself occasionally. I have to be an independent adult some day, that is for sure. But when should that day be? As Ray said before, people who rush through life will suffer later (that doesn't always come from a boy who is a year younger than me). My question is, how fast is growing up considered too fast?

Our wings were weak then, we couldn't fly. We are well taken care off by our parents. We are loved and shielded from the storms in the outside world. We complain about how boring it is to stay in the nest built for us, and how exciting it would be to be out there seeking for freedom, not knowing the harsh reality in a dog-eat-dog world.

Our wings are stronger now, but shall we fly? Or shall we stay a little longer in this cosy little nest?

Another 4 months of fitness

2008-07-25T16:51:00.005+10:00

I walked into the gym. A guy at the counter said hi.

“ My gym membership expired three days ago. I'm here to ask about the different options I have in extending my membership."

"Sure."

"I'm wondering is there any similar offer to the one early of the year where two students join together will get each of them one month free?"

"No, sorry."

"So that sort of thing only happens at the beginning of the year?”

"Yeah, it would probably be there again early next year, but right now it isn't."

Another lady came by.

"Are you a student?"

"Yeah."

"Trust me you students are paying $37.50 a month, that is ridiculously cheap. You guys are paying a third of what an adult member is paying. It's really a good rate you can't get it elsewhere."

"Alright. So I wish to extend it for another 4 months."

"Sure no problem. Can you fill in your name and sign here? Did your details change over this few months? No? Great"

(After keying in my details and scanning my card)

"150 dollars please. Thank you."

There you go. I commit myself to another 4 months of fitness. GO!GO!GO! I love gym!

To be honest I enjoy it. I love the classes. Fatburner sweats you out like no one's business and makes you feel as agile as a monkey. Revmaster makes your heart go 'thump, thump, thump' like it is going to jump out. Outdoor pool is freezing during winter but charming on a summer day. Indoor pool always feel like a spa with water of 27 degree celcius.

$37.50 a month? It's well worth it. But I'll still get another friend to sign up with me next year to get an even cheaper rate of $30 a month. Haha.

这里真的有那么好吗？

2008-07-20T21:26:00.008+10:00

从上中学后不久就被灌输一种思想：留在马来西亚‘不好’。是的，很多大人，像补习老师拉，姑姑拉，邻居拉，都说我读书那么‘厉害’（自己并不觉得自己有多厉害，只不过是above average 而已），以后如果有机会到外国读书一定要想办法在国外‘落地生根’，因为留在马来西亚的话就没什么钱途。我必须承认，之前听已经是australian PR 的表姐们说起澳洲有多好多赞，曾经为自己因为有contract在身而没有机会申请PR（澳洲移民条规是不允许的）感到懊恼。

在这里读书数来也有一年半了，发现事实其实不像我想的那么完美。当然，如果在这里生活钱途应该是会不错，澳洲的minimum wage regulation确保人力的价值，就连casual 或part-time都有不错的工资，full-time 就更不用说了。难怪有好多人，像中国人、香港人、印度人、甚至马来西亚和新加坡人纷纷过来念书，然后申请PR居住这里。

可能是因为我们是sponsored student,不够了解在外国留学的真正费用（不只是我吧！有多少JPA　ｓｃｈｏｌａｒｓ　知道自己每一年花政府多少钱？），我们对是否能够申请ＰＲ并不会觉得怎样，毕竟都是要回国服务嘛！说真的，“能不能申请ＰＲ我不怎么在呼”这句话要我在一些自费来留学的朋友面前说我可不敢，会被他们瞪眼。想当然耳，如果这大笔留学费用是父母的血汗钱我也会坚持在这里工作几年，通通把学费赚回来再打算。

最不喜欢应该是一些当地人的思想和生活习惯吧！直到现在其实我的生活圈子也只是围绕在‘自己人’（Ｍａｌａｙｓｉａｎｓ　ｏｒ　Ｓｉｎｇａｐｏｒｅａｎｓ）的范围内，偶尔和一些中国人说说话。洋人嘛，我们真的是敬而远之。可以说９０％的鬼佬心里非常看不起亚洲人，尤其是黄皮肤的，能和他们打交道的亚洲人，通常都是土生土长的ＡＢＣ　（Ａｕｓｔｒａｌｉａｎ　Ｂｏｒｎ　Ｃｈｉｎｅｓｅ）。ＡＢＣ是我最看不顺眼的一群人，因为很多ＡＢＣ都自以为自己是鬼佬，看不起自己的族群，这点我在之前的ｐｏｓｔｉｎｇ就提过了。

如果在这里生活，我们的下一代也很有可能变成忘本，不懂自己文化，只懂英语的ＡＢＣ是吧？洋人文化里的ｂｉｎｇｅ　ｄｒｉｎｋｉｎｇ（指酗酒），ｐａｒｔｙ，　ｆｒｅｅ　ｓｅｘ　（性开放）等都是与东方文化格格不入的。自己看到身边的一些人，住澳洲不久就接受了这些文化，不禁觉得心寒。哎，学好三年学坏三天这句话是一点都不错，不自爱的人堕落的速度真的好惊人。

这里毕竟是洋人的地盘，华人在这里永远都被视为第二等公民。

我住过三个国家：马来西亚（当然咯！）、新加坡、澳洲。最喜欢的是新加坡，我在那里虽然只住了短短的半年，但却打从心里地爱上那里。小小的岛屿，有的是西方国家如澳洲的先进硬体设施，东方国家如马来西亚的传统社会生活文化。当时我离开新加坡比离开马来西亚到澳洲来更难过，那里有最棒的治安，最温暖的人情，最平等的社会，最平均最有水准的教育系统。。。。哎，李光耀当时坚持要独立真的有他的，短短几十年搞到现在的新加坡把马来西亚抛得远远的，九泉下的老东姑心中也不知是什么滋味。

当然这不代表我不爱自己的祖国。马来西亚有我最美好的童年回忆，我血浓与水的家人、亲戚，最要好的朋友等等，这些都不是金钱的诱惑可以改变的，不管马来西亚是否存在着很‘出名’的种族不平等。世界上不可能有百分百的公平吧我想，澳洲也有明显的社会不平等啊！自从今年的大选，我看到的是逐渐成熟的选民，常被施压而尝试改善的政府，虽然晚了三十年但最终还是到来的教育改革（指英语教学），还有一个迈向ｄｅｍｏｃｒａｃｙ　（民主制度）的社会。多数人不会单纯到相信老马哈迪的２０２０宏愿可以完全实现（这需要一个奇迹，一个标青的领袖，目前Barisan Nasional 里好像没有这样一个有潜质的人），但我相信至少现在的进展没有和宏愿背道而驰。

为什么我会写这些？三个原因：

一，我现在还在假期，有时间想这种东西；
二，有太多人谈起申请ＰＲ的事情；
三，最近几天看到了很多洋人或ＡＢＣ瞧不起华人的活例子，有感而发。

The fight against crime

2008-07-18T19:40:00.019+10:00

The mundane way I spend my holiday does something good. It makes me think about things that I normally wouldn't give a damn; it makes me more aware of my surroundings, more sensitive to how people interact and get along with one another in a planet with limited source of luxury.

As I was on my way back from Macquarie Shopping Centre with lots of groceries for my survival for this coming week, I was struck by the question of why people commit crime. To be blunt, why do robbers rob and rapists rape? By the way I quoted these two examples because robberies and rape cases are the most common crime in Malaysia. Many would blame money and sex as the ultimate motivation. Well, true enough, but what makes money and sex so sought after?

Wealth promises access to luxury items, sex gives satisfaction. In the animals' world, food and sex move the entire ecosystem. Animals hunt and kill the weak. Animals mate when their hormones instruct them to do so. If we put aside our ego for being the species that undergo the most evolution (homo sapien we are), how much different is human being from other less evolved creatures?

We are different because we are guided by a set of non-natural rules called moral principles. We define what is right and what is wrong, based not on our natural instinct but the egalitarian wish to create a world of harmony, peace and fairness different from the world of beasts. Robbery is wrong because it is against the rule of ownership, which is obviously non-existent in the animals' world. Have you ever seen a stronger fox give in to a weaker fox who hunted down a rabbit? Even though the stronger fox did not do the hunting, by sheer force it gets to enjoy the result of others' labour. Robberies are motivated by the same urge to want things that do not belong to us.

Similarly, why do rape, incest, paedophilia happen? In the world of animal, the males will search for females during the mating season, and being guided by hormone they would have sex as a means for reproduction. Sex is natural and created by God to ensure the continuity of the species' survivalship. In the human's world, certain behaviours in the animal kingdom are unacceptable because they are defined as 'morally wrong'. Sex without consent is considered rape, sex with a family member is considered incest, sex with an underaged child is considered paedophilia. Are the aforementioned behaviours absent in the beast's world? No.

Crime happened as human relapse to animal's behaviour, that is, when human choose to follow their natural instinct (controlled by hormones) rather than the artificial moral principles. Animals act based on natural instincts, because they can't do more than that. There is no right or wrong, only survivalship matters. But we, the most evolved species, care more than survival. We want everyone to follow a certain code of conduct to ensure peace and equity. Our brains have developed to the extent that we care about the greater good of the entire human race, not just our individual gratification. And to achieve this, we enact law to impose punishment on its infringement, as an incentive for ourselves to go against our natural (perhaps beasty) instincts.

Criminal activities are proofs to the incomplete evolution of human being. We are still evolving for the better, moving towards the eventual ideality that promises a world where everyone will live peacefully and happily together, where no one will starve and suffer, where everyone acts according to his/her will as long as it is not against the law. The war against crime is the war against ourselves - our own tendency to act like animals for which rules and regulations do not prevail.

The time of the year when laziness is perfectly acceptable

2008-07-15T20:17:00.006+10:00

I was starving after my gym session. Blame myself for not eating enough for lunch (only had turkey steak). My two slices of french toast tasted like HEAVEN. No exaggeration.

The coldest time of winter is over. Mornings no longer make me shiver, nights no longer require layering up. My heater is officially having its much-needed rest. Even the man who came to fix my shower this afternoon complained about the heat and wondered why I could stay at home when the sunshine outdoor was so beautiful. Well, I'm a Malaysian you know. We have sunshine all the time. I don't appreciate sunshine as much as the Aussies do.

Half a month to go till my next semester starts. I'm just gonna enjoy the rest of my holiday to the fullest. My internet is speed-limited earlier than I expected, which reminds me how big a part that internet plays in my life here. Now I can't watch videos on Youtube until my next billing date. How terrible is that.

I shall see what else I can do without Youtube. Drama series in my hard disk? Newspaper? Going out? Or working?

你还记得吗

2008-07-15T19:25:00.009+10:00

你还记得吗
当时站在起跑点上
望着茫茫前路的感觉

你还记得吗
当时恐惧的心
在无助地挣扎
不懂得面对选择的你
在迟疑，在懵懂

一段旅程
最艰难的是起跑
因为它需要最大的勇气
最美丽的是路旁的风景
这比到达目的地
更能被记忆收留

每个踏上旅程的人
都希望前面的路平坦、康庄
但路一直就是坎坷的
最终到达目的地的人
不是不曾跌倒
而是懂得在每次跌倒后
咬紧牙根，忍住泪水
爬起来的人

回头看这一路走来
多少辛酸欢笑同时凝聚心头
你也许会问
踏上这段路是否值得
但每一次答案都像晨雾里的花朵
似有似无
你也只好走下去

休息是为了走更远的路
待收拾心情
我们向背后的一切道别
再次为理想，为梦
重新出发

* 在此鼓励自己，也鼓励大家，遇到挫折时不要放弃。

The beast side of human

2008-07-11T20:40:00.015+10:00

What separates human from the other animals is simply the sense of morality. We define what is right and what is wrong, what is acceptable and what is not. And we make ourselves obligated to heed it. Beast don't. They act according to natural instinct. They are controlled by desire, by their hormone. Hence there is no right or wrong. Whoever is strong will reign and whoever is weak will be destroyed.

Unfortunately, moral principles don't make trespasses less attractive. In fact, it does the opposite. What is forbidden always tastes good, there goes the saying.

I'm saying these because I just watched a new MV of a new singer: 林宥嘉 (Yoga Lin) - 眼色 (The colour of your eyes). For once I couldn't judge if it is a good MV (in the past I could always conclude if an MV is good). It has excellent shooting, the lyrics matches the storyline perfectly, Yoga's singing is great.

But, the MV touches the grey area of human morality. It shows explicitly free sexual behaviour, both homosexual and otherwise. Some people would probably say that my thoughts are too traditional, that in this modern era no one cares about whether you have pre-marital or extramarital sex. Still, Yoga is the champion in the singing competition 星光大道（first season). In other words, he is an idol to many, mostly people in their teens. Despite being banned on TV, the MV scores a major hit on Youtube, thus it shows that many (young) people have already viewed it.

The way the MV is directed portrays what I would put as the beast side of human, one that is controlled solely by hormone. It makes no reference to love, only lust. Sex is downgraded to an act of pure satisfaction of desire without responsibility.

It may not be Yoga's idea to shoot this MV. If this is the case, then it must be the company with whom he signed a six-year contract. One could argue that this form of sexually explicit MV is in commonplace elsewhere, especially in western countries, but does this make it right, at least in an Asian country?

The company has so obviously cashed in on the primitive but suppressed desire to the forbidden fruit of human nature. To be fair I shall also give credit to the good singing, but I feel that the theme of the MV is what makes it so popular among teenagers.

As much as I like Yoga as a singer, I disgust the way his song is commercialised.

无厘头诗

2008-07-11T19:38:00.017+10:00

我轻轻呼吸
步入黑暗的笼罩
寻找那熟悉冰冷的影子

上头突然响起震撼的音乐
旅程正式开始
我冲，我放
我竭尽所能

魔王的降临
埋没不了心中的热血
残酷的疲惫
消灭不了坚定的意志

鬼在空中
呼喊着：“放弃吧！”
尖叫着：“离开吧！”
而我
却蛮横地往前冲
不顾死活

单独地抗衡
对周遭视而不见
只望着
遥远的灯
还有那股打气的声音

行走着
呻吟着
却还要撑
撑到另一个山顶

车响
人叹
脚步没停过
生怕迷失了自己
消磨了斗志

Com'on give it all
Leaving nothing
And you own the world, yourself
Sweating like a shower
Slowing down, and you breathe success.

后记：试着直读每段第一个字，最后一段的每个开头字母，就是主题。

The continuum of time and space

2008-07-09T19:50:00.019+10:00

If you follow the famous TV series "Heroes" you should be familiar with phrases (by Mohinder Suresh) sounding like 'Man should fulfill his destiny'. Are we all DESTINED to do something from the outset? Is our destiny in our own hands like what many of us would like to believe? The underlying assumption in the series is that time moves, events occur, in ways that are 'planned out' by some divine forces (God?), and those 'plan' can be predicted by people with extraordinary ability to foresee the future like Isaac Mendes. Little did we know, such ability to predict the future are alleged to exist (I only know this recently).

Boredom forces me to keep looking out for something unfamiliar, something unbelievable. As I was browsing through youtube in a quest for more Taiwanese entertainment show I bumped upon this intriguing video - "The greatest prediction of mankind" (translation, it is a chinese clip). So I couldn't resist the temptation and thus watched that clip, followed by more videos listed as related to the first one. Then I googled for more information about how some extraordinary people could predict the future with great accuracy on details and read the book written by Huang Yi (黄易) titled "Predictions that stun the world" (惊世大预言).

The whole idea begins with this french guy Nostradamus who lived in the mid 16th century. He wrote the book titled “The Centuries" which contains poems that describe the future. As spooky as it sounds, the alleged interpretation of the 'poem' written by him depicts with high accuracy many important events that happened decades or even centuries after his death.

Some chilling examples:

1. September 11 attack

In the City of God there will be a great thunder,
Two brothers torn apart by Chaos,
while the fortress endures,
the great leader will succumb,
The third big war will begin when the big city is burning

City of God = New York
Two brothers = Twin tower
Fortress = The Pentagon
Great leader = President of United States
Third big war = Iraq war

2. Japanese attack on Pearl Harbour (couldn't find an English translation)

那属於太阳的人不能安全渡海
威尼斯的人掌握整个非洲
上星再占据了国上
亚洲会改变

太阳人=Japanese
威尼斯人=Italian

The Pearl Harbour attack marked the beginning of World War II. Japanese proceeded to take control of many Asian nations while Italians intruded many African countries. The Japanese and Italian were allies during WW2.

3. Death of Henry II (quoted from the analysis of experts)

The young lion will overcome the older one,
On the field of combat in a single battle;
He will pierce his eyes through a golden cage,
Two wounds made one, then he dies a cruel death.

(Century 1, Quatrain 35)

In June 1559, Henry II ignored all warnings that Nostradamus gave him and participated in a jousting tournament against the Comte de Montgomery. Both men used shields embossed with lions. Montgomery was six years younger than Henry.

During the final bout of fighting in the tournament, Montgomery failed to lower his lance in time. It shattered, sending a large splinter through the king’s gilded visor (golden cage). The result was two moral wounds (two wounds made one and then he will die a cruel death.) One splinter spliced eye; the other impaled his temple just behind the eye. Both splinters from the lance penetrated his brain. Henry lived for ten days in agony, thus fulfilling the Nostradamus prophecy that he would die a cruel death.

So, is the continuum of time and space fixed? Or is it alterable by you and I? Are we doing what we are doing, being the person we are, being in a place at a certain time, because this is how it is supposed to be?

So this is winter in Sydney

2008-07-09T19:23:00.004+10:00

I missed the coldest period of Sydney winter last year. I was on a trip to Melbourne, complaining how the wet, cold and eratic Melbourne weather annoyed me and how I adore the relatively warm Sydney during winter. Putting aside the possibility of abnormal weather patterns, I was wrong to give too much credit to Sydney lol. It's approaching mid-July now, the coldest time of winter, and you should look at the way I shiver every morning trying super hard to drag myself off my cosy quilt. My heater is nearly always on, the only time it gets a rest is when I go to bed (coz I'm such a good resident that I follow the advice of MUV to switch off the heater at night, apparently this is good for my health and it saves electricity as well).

But, I still like winter, as long as I'm indoor. Weird huh? One of the most enjoyable thing to do is to sit on my bed, covering myself with quilt, watching and laughing at whatever drama or video clip my laptop is playing. Idle lifestyle you may say. Hey, we need a good rest and relaxation after every semester of toiling and striving. Winter is so much better than summer, when many people will set out for sun-bathing, partying etc while I on my fan on highest speed, sweating and cursing the hot weather. Joy is so right on saying that " we can always layer up when it is cold but we can't possibly strip naked when it is hot".

I still insist on going to gym everyday, despite the weather making it harder for me. It's always windy and sometimes, rainy, outside. While I was typing this post the wind was ROARING like it was about to eat everyone outside up. Trees were shaking like it was their clubbing session. All these make you feel like staying at home, watching from afar how minuscule human are when Mother Nature shows her wrath.

在平凡的日子里寻找不平凡的感触

2008-07-06T19:28:00.025+10:00

是的，我这个假期是从我到澳洲以来最乏闷的。因为油价上涨加上很多朋友都回梦乡去当少爷千金，吃喝玩乐，所以我除了看戏看书运动就没干什么也没去那里了。现在回家一趟最少也需澳币千多元（马币三千多），而且还须转机三次，显然我housemates 他们是真的很想家才肯花钱回去。哎。。。他们跑光日子就更闷了。本来大家讲好要去snowy mountain 滑雪，却突然间那么多人想飞回去，剩下也都觉得没趣，结果滑雪之行就这样胎死腹中。

近来因不想看连续剧（故事情节我是预测得越来越准)而转看综艺节目。通常综艺节目都是些无聊的搞笑等等，目的就是让观众打发时间的，但我很意外地在《星光大道》里听到一些相当有道理的东西。讲出来我爸爸一定不相信，因为上一辈的人都觉得台湾综艺节目都是“扮傻瓜来博人一笑的傻戏”。

有个叫林鸿明的rocker 型歌手到星光舞台去挑战两万台币的奖金，结果唱出来的评审因不认同而给了很低的分数。林说：“要让全世界的人喜欢你是不可能的，你能做的就是做好自己，让在乎你，爱你的人喜欢你，让自己不讨厌自己就可以了。”看不出他那副傻里傻气的样子竟然在自己表现欠佳时说出这样个豁达的话，赞。看过一些朋友常常为了别人的闲言闲语而难过，自己有时也会很在意别人的眼光。哎，通常生气的原因都是别人无意的话我们却有意地接受，让自己受没有必要的心灵折磨，何必呢？

还有一句陶晶莹说的也是很对 - 有时在生活中不要抱有太大的得失心，失败每个人都会有的，成功的人不是没遇过失败，而是懂得从失败中走出来，变得更强的人。她说这句话是在安慰被淘汰的选手，不过这也是像我们这种追求事业理想的人时常忘记的部分。我中五的华文老师在我们班刊留下类似这样的话：" 我不知道在你们身边的同学到底是‘战友’还是‘朋友’，觉得你们太在乎学业的结果而忽略了过程。考得比别人好不好真的那么重要吗？或许SPM 过后一切会变得不一样，但希望你们能珍惜同在一个屋檐下的日子。”（哈哈，我的记忆力有没有把你吓倒？没有啦这不是exact sentence，秩序也不一定是这样，不过黄老师确实有写过这种话。）总之和陶子说的有异曲同工之妙，都是叫你我不要太过计较人生的成败得失而迷失自己。

在同一集有一个缩影也是很有意思。有个叫曾静纹的很有歌唱天分，前两次干掉高手而一炮而红，这次却因为压力太大而表现失常，在台上崩溃。她说她现在红了很不开心，开始时很想引起大家瞩目，现在得到了却发现自己根本不能负荷。她才十五岁叻，就要承受这种压力，很可怜啊老实说。在学术界这种压力也是会害死人，马上我就想到得了忧郁症去世的神童张世明、我那位承受不了scholarship holder 所面对的压力而郁郁寡欢的学姐、我在新加坡听过的那位荣获牛津大学奖学金但后来承受不了考试不理想而自杀的学长。。。。真的，一个人很需要懂得自己安慰自己，在学习怎么成功的同时我们也应学习怎么面对失败。

后记: 很多朋友说我写blog是渐渐走感性路线了，我承认啦。之前都写些生活琐碎事很无聊，就想在假期写不一样的，希望我不会太肉麻哈哈。很谢谢那些读我blog的朋友，抱歉又花了您宝贵的时间（鞠躬）。

The epitome of the 'YES SIR' attitude

2008-07-05T10:05:00.019+10:00

There is no doubt that:

Dr Mahathir is a great leader.
He is the best Malaysian Prime Minister in history.
He successfully saved the country from slumping into a depression during the 1997 Asian Financial Crisis.
He is formidable even to Americans.
He speaks openly and bravely on global issues without fear.

And recently, he joined the group of bloggers, and is writing regularly on chedet.com. Good (but not always neutral) articles. Fluent English, unlike most of the Malaysian so-called leaders who can only speak like you, I, alright, don't know (some of them don't understand that the singular equivalent is doesn't know, as they use don't all the time). He is great but he is still a human.

If your curiosity is built up at this point thus you decide to go to his blog to have a look, go ahead by all means. But if you also wish to read the comments below the articles, I would suggest that you are better-off spending your time digging your nose. Why? Because I can tell you 95% ( a conservative figure) of what his blog readers say here in just a few sentences. So you save time reading them here rather than having to scroll down and read each of them on chedet.com lol.

Apa yang tun cakap tu memang betul/benar!
Kenapa Pak Lah tidak secekap/sebijak Tun?
Your ideas are brilliant/excellent Tun
You are always the best/my idol Tun
Thank you for letting Malaysians know the truth behind the issue (since when does a politician speak truth???)
Semoga Tun sihat and hidup lama/long live Tun
Bravo Tun, you speak our heart

Fine, I have no qualms on wishing him good health. I hope he lives long as well.

But look at the other comments. Why can't they talk about something else other than YES SIR YOU ARE SO RIGHT all the time? Why can't they think rationally about the issues that Dr M come out with and discuss it in a mature way? Are Malaysian readers dumb or is it because people who can think couldn't bother or are afraid to let their voices be heard? I believe that it is the latter.

Freedom of speech. This is essentially what separates us from the developed world. Just look at the commentary and public opinion on msn, bbc, TIME just to name a few foreign media. The comments made by readers are so much more mature, showing to the world that the people there understand what is going on in this world.

Chedet.com is probably the most unrestricted media in Malaysia at the moment. Just look at what's written on New Straits Times and The Star. There is some improvement since the last General Election but there is still much to be done before Malaysian mass media can declare itself as being politically neutral.

Before that happens, digging your nose is probably a better alternative.

So this movie is back-breaking

2008-07-04T21:18:00.016+10:00

Finally I decided to give the movie 'Brokeback Mountain' a go. Borrowed the DVD from Macquarie Uni Library last week but it's only today that I made up my mind to watch it. It was a blockbuster hit when it was released, and its director Ang Lee was awarded the BEST DIRECTOR in that very year.

He probably deserves it I would say. However, the whole thing about gay relationship did...erm...churn up my stomach. Tell you what, I even felt like throwing out my lunch upon seeing the first erotic scene in the movie. Yes, it is EROTIC. I was a bit like eewww...why on earth would anyone think of using homosexuality as the theme.

But to be honest aside from the theme the entire production deserves nothing less than the three academy award that it obtained. Still ... (deep breath)...it's a new experience for myself to see two boys hugging, kissing each other, sleeping together etc.

How I pity their wives. Please lah boys out there,if you know that you're a gay don't ever get married because your wife and children will suffer (*wink). The whole big time when the movie was played on my laptop I felt that my back was aching (it's really back-breaking, huh?) as I really felt for the gay men's wives. Why should they suffer from their husbands' sexual orientation? I agree fully with Ennis del Mar (one of the gay guys) that 'his wife is innocent'. But so is Ennis and Jack Twist (another gay guy). Is homosexuality meant to be natural? By the way the front cover of the booklet that comes together with the DVD reads 'LOVE IS A FORCE OF NATURE'. If it is natural why is the society despising, condemning, and criminalising (at least in some part of the world) homosexuality? Are these people sick or just different?

These are hard, if not impossible, to answer. It shudders me to imagine the possible consequences of legalising unisex marriage as it might lead to people demanding for bestiality (having sex with animals, eewwww!!!) or incest (in Malay this is called sumbang mahram) and other so-called 'abnormal sexual behaviour' to be made legal as well.

Ok I shall not write more as this is grossing me to ... no I shall refrain from using those you-know-what language that is all too common in Australia. Guess I can't agree more with what Joy said about Brokeback, that 'it discusses a mature topic'. No we can't say that it is a sick show. That would be too biased. So calling it a mature adult movie is probably the right way. Just like how Australians term shops that sell pornographic/erotic books as ADULT BOOKSHOPS lol.

我最看不起忘本的人

2008-07-03T10:04:00.012+10:00

昨天吃晚饭时和housemate没事闲聊，渐渐谈到Victor工作的同事。一个中国来的女生，不知是崇洋么，还是想要练australian accent么，已经不知多少年没用中文（马来西亚人所谓的‘华语’）了，而且倘若别人以中文开口和她说话她还会不高兴。Victor 说这时我就觉得这女生‘似曾相识，想了一会我记起来了，就是去年我去参加一个international student forum group 的时候，主持人说的那位被他捧为天仙的女生。

女生承认自己已经三四年完全以英语作为沟通语言了，就连和她父母也是用英语说话。当时我们在场的都觉得不可思议，怎么可能连家人都不放过嘛！主持人赞她的英语水平，她一定是洋洋得意,笑得好开心的。但我和几位在场的都很看不惯，坐我旁边在UNSW 念书的香港男生也偷偷跟我说这个人有点讨厌，怎么可以瞧不起自己的母语嘛。像她这样的人我遇到不少了，我们有时也和中国人谈话，一开口就说中文是为了尊重他们，但是有些怪胎却觉得你是在瞧不起他们的英语水平而不说英语。莫名其妙的心态！

这种就是我们所谓的忘本。我不反对崇洋心态，毕竟人还是要向现实低头的，现在英语在国际舞台还是举足轻重，想要飞黄腾达的人一定要学好，但也不至于鄙视自己的文化，语言吧！在澳洲读书已经一年多，这种事情真的是看多了。我去年的马来housemate也是这种样子，对洋人可以说是毕恭毕敬，对我们malaysian的态度简直就差天跟地。她和自己国家的人说话不知怎么一复装起澳洲口音，说得不伦不类，好像自己已经是鬼佬了，听了说实话觉得很恶心。

朋友说过，她有一天想吃海南鸡饭，就特地到一间马来西亚人开的饭店，叫饭时发现自己忘了带malaysian student association 的会员折扣卡，自认倒霉，但因为很想吃鸡饭还是叫了。结果过了很久饭才送来，而且还是老板娘送来的。她自己以为老板娘亲自出马是好事，结果老板娘冲着她用带有鄙视的口气很大声说虽然是malaysian,没带卡的一律不折扣。过了不久一个胖胖的鬼佬进来了，老板娘一鞠躬问道：“How can I help you, sir?"

天啊，这偏差也太大了吧？这些人不只是崇洋，还瞧不起自己的同胞，不是鬼以为自己是鬼。他们怎么不明白，这样做鬼佬也不会把他们当鬼看，却搞到亚洲人的厌恶，两头都不到岸，且迷失了自己原本的根。

My gosh, this song !!!

2008-06-30T18:18:00.029+10:00

For those who follow the Taiwanese talent show 星光大道, when being asked which song is the greatest thus far many would point to the self-composed song by 徐佳莹 - 身骑白马。The first time I heard it in the competition I was like, "This can't be explained by anything other than pure gift from God." It's kinda hard to get good chinese pop songs these days. Most of the contemporary chinese pop songs are meaningless, dry, repetitive, too commercialised .... the list of criticism goes on. Of course there are good ones, but this one is special with a good blend of historical context and the beauty of modern music.

I'm the type of fussy listener who is only likely to like a song if it manages to appeal to more than 90% of chinese pop song listeners. But immediately after the first listening I could literally remember most of the melody, and some of the lyric as well.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN

徐佳瑩-身騎白馬抒情完整版

我愛誰　跨不過　從來也不覺得錯
I could not get over whom I love, and had never felt that it was wrong
自以為抓著痛總能修成愛的果
I thought enduring pain could eventually make our love work
偏執相信著受詛咒的水晶球
I believed obsessively in the cursed crystal ball
阻擋可能心動的理由
and stopped everything that may touch my heart

而你卻靠近了逼我們視線交錯
but you approached myself, forcing our sights to cross
原地不動或向前走突然在意這分鐘
shall I stay put, or move forward? At that moment I realised how much I care
眼前荒沙瀰漫了等候
about the long waiting that was marred by the sand in front of my eyes
耳邊傳來孱弱的呼救
and the withering call for help that travelled beside my ears
追趕要我愛的不保留
urging me to love you unconditionally

我身騎白馬走三關
I rided on a white horse, and crossed three borders
我改換素衣過中原
I changed to my plain attire, and passed the mainland,
放下西涼沒人管
relinquishing all my power in xi liang, and no one cared
我一心只想王寶釧
what I cared the most was you, my wife

典故：
薛平貴，年輕的時候去當兵打仗，後來變成大將軍，可是在和西涼國打仗的時候被抓了。本來是要被殺死的，但是西涼國的公主很喜歡他，要嫁給他，所以薛平貴就變成「駙馬爺」了，後來還掌理西涼國。可是他心繫中原的家庭，想著中原的太太. 於是他從西涼，穿著素衣，身騎白馬，過三關，回到中原，尋訪苦守寒窯十八年的王寶釧。

The context of this song:
Xue Ping Gui joined the army since he was young. He gradually moved up the rank to become a general. However, he was caught as a war prisoner when fighting against Xi Liang. He was meant to be executed but the pricess of Xi Liang fell in love with him and wanted to marry him. He married the princess and eventually took control of the kingdom. Despite his wealth and power, he missed his family and wife back in the mainland. Thus, he travelled on a white horse in plain attires, crossed three borders, from Xi Liang to the mainland, to look for his wife who had waited 18 years for his return.

P/s: I hope my translation and story-telling didn't ruined the meaning of this song.

Say goodbye to the era of cheap flight ticket

2008-06-29T18:58:00.009+10:00

Petrol prices had never bothered me in the past 20 years. I don't drive ( I managed to somehow pass my driving test on my first attempt although deep inside I know my driving sucks) so whenever my peers complain to me about how much it cost to drive from Subang Jaya to Mid-Valley etc etc I wouldn't even give a damn.

Finally I'm feeling the crunch. And yes it is definitely not a good feeling that you would want to constantly remind yourself of.

Yet I have no choice. Our favourite aviation company, Jetstar, has cancelled the Sydney-Kuala Lumpur flight starting this coming September. This means we Sydney people have just lost our cheap option to fly back home end of this year. Everyone who flied on Jetstar last year could tell how lucky we were as compared to our fellow JPA people in other cities. No transit is required. We just need to hop on the plane and 7 hours later we are home in Malaysia.

Considering I had experienced the atmosphere during the peak tourism season (Christmas, Boxing Day, and New Year) last year I see no reason to go back late like I did last year. So, being a very calculative consumer I looked up the prices of flight ticket of various airlines, and was ASTONISHED to discover that tickets for MAS or SIA could easily cost a fortune (that is, somewhere close to AUD2000). Argh....this is so beyond my acceptable range.

Where to go from here? Few options (though more expensive than the direct Jetstar flight) are still opened.

-Sydney - Singapore - KL
-Sydney - Perth - KL
-Sydney - Brisbane - KL

Whichever way I choose I can't get away from flight transit, which is uber tiring.

荒唐的岁月

2008-06-28T14:35:00.010+10:00

人真的不愧为万兽之灵。在这群万兽之灵当中，有一部分已经是让我惊为天人，换句话他们已经是要成仙成神了。在我家（我的意思是我在macquarie 住的地方）：

有位高手可以日夜颠倒，早上冬眠，晚上才起来展翅高飞。自从考试完毕后我见到他的次数可以用一只手算完。我本来就觉得很奇怪，到底一个人怎么承受得了天天闭关修炼的闷气。后来经过另一个housemate 的开导，才知道爱情的伟大，电脑游戏的诱惑，真的是可以把一个人变成神。只恨我离天人的境界还很远，每天晚上十二点钟眼睛就已经是要关上了，一倒下整个人就睡得不省人事。

如果你认为我家只有一位神你就实实在在太看不起他们了。我家里的两位drama king可厉害了！一天内可以看十多集的连续剧，看到废寝忘食。我去年觉得自己一天内看六七集就已达到最高境界了，现在想来实在惭愧，我太天真了。所谓人外有人，天外有天，这两位drama king 实在把我的ego 杀得片甲不留，让我甘拜下风。

但就像武侠小说里，厉害的高手也是有分十八方武艺的。这两位drama king 就是specialise 在不一样的领域了。第一位很神，能够在晚上八九点当大家都很活泼时上床睡觉，然后在凌晨五点全部人都睡得像死猪的时候爬起来练drama series 武功。大概这种功夫是要在夜深人静时才会练出火花吧！第二位就正好是第一位的克星，能够练功到凌晨三四点眼睛还不会掉出来，很令人折服的是他可以睡两三个小时后早餐时跟我这个睡了八小时的人若无其事地说话。

简直是跳脱出我的逻辑，超乎我的想象，让我啧啧称奇。

看来我是没有机会进化成这种超人，因为我一天睡不够就会像个潦倒的人，整天魂不守舍。天人难做啊！

附注：请原谅我的无聊，因为实实在在太闷了（都是开玩笑的别生气）。学期时期待假期的闲空，假期时想要有学期时的充实生活；喜欢读书但又讨厌考试，希望自己有钱但做工时又向往那种没工作时的轻松自在。我到底要什么？哎。。。如果人那么容易满足天下就太平了，偏偏人就是那么的欠揍。

It's been long since I last went to a cinema - The movie '21'

2008-06-27T09:24:00.015+10:00

Went to watch this at macquarie centre cinema two days ago at night. It was a COLD COLD COLD night, I was shivering at all times when we were outdoor. Damnation. Also blame the fact that I only had a roll from KFC for dinner (of course I ate something when I reached home) before entering the theatre.

But, it was an awesome movie. Well, at least for us nerdy actuarial students. All of us were smiling when one scene showed Ben Campbell, the main character who was a smart ass, correctly answered the famous 'Monty Hall Problem' seemingly without any difficulty in comparison to what it was like for us when we encountered it in ACST211 last year. And for those who don't know what the Monty Hall Problem is:

Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind one door is a car; behind the others, goats. You pick a door, say No. 1, and the host, who knows what's behind the doors, opens another door, say No. 3, which has a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to pick door No. 2?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice?

Most people would think that it doesn't matter whether the door is switched as both are equally likely to contain the car.

The solution:

Don't switch: The probability of your door being the one with the car remains at 1/3

Switch:

If your door IS the one with the car, you lose. This probability is 1/3.

If your door IS NOT the one with the car, the host will open the other one without a car, you will subsequently switch to the remaining one which contains the car. This probability is 2/3 as there is 2 in 3 chance at the outset of you not choosing the correct door.

So by switching, you increase your chance of winning from 1/3 to 2/3. Amazing isn't it? This is counter intuitive for most people.

So this is the nerdy part about the movie which I think not many people in the theatre could understand. Anyway this smart ass impressed his fat round evil-faced professor Micky Rosa (oh I hate him!) Micky then persuaded him to join his Las Vegas blackjack team. The team spread out in playing small amount of money to count cards, and when it is statistically profitable they would signal the big player (Ben) to join the table and throw in big money. This part is certainly an exaggeration in the show. With card-counting one is expected to win money in the long-run but certainly not in every game as portrayed in the movie. Anyway I thought the sound effects when the game is played is quite thrilling.

'21' also serves as a gentle reminder to us about how money can be such a huge temptation for criminal activities. Easy but possibly illegal money could make "nothing seems to cost too much", and certainly make spending so much more delightful. I guess corporate crime in real life such as the all-so-common misappropriation of company funds, corruption all stem from the plain joy of spending big with money that comes without hard work. Not many could resist the glamour of being able to afford designer bags and clothing, expensive food at 5 star restaurants etc without having to earn those big bucks the legitimate way.

I will not be a spoiler by revealing all the interesting twist and turn of the storyline here. What's worth mentioning is the last part of the movie where Ben Campbell told his interviewer that throughout his life "he's been to Vegas 17 times, won a fortune two times, and it was stolen both times".

In order to make our money last, we have to work honestly for it. What comes easily goes easily.

“你是信奉什么宗教的？”

2008-06-24T12:29:00.015+10:00

经常有朋友问我这个问题，我都是毫不犹豫地说是佛教。由于澳洲是个西方文化普及的国家，大多数的人都是基督教徒，而马来西亚的朋友多数又说自己是“拜神的”，所以我说自己信奉佛教就显得有点另类。通常在这种时候朋友就问我佛教到底是说什么，问我它是不是类似基督教这样有圣经，有上帝，有上帝的儿子耶稣；或者很吃惊地问我是不是吃素的，不能喝酒的等等。

我都说不是。朋友们都露出一种很困惑的眼神，像在说：“你怎么那么不虔诚？”

其实不管在马来西亚还是这里很少人对佛教有真正的理解。马来西亚很多华裔家庭都把“拜神”或“道教”都说成是佛教了。拜神指的是烧香拜四方鬼神，天公，土地等；道教是出自老子的《道德经》（很多人连老子都没听过就说自己是道教的）；佛教源于二千五百年前释迦族王子释迦摩尼佛在菩提树下悟出的人生道理。

对我来说宗教说穿了就是要让人有精神上的寄托。人生有很多不如意的事，碰到一些困难，挫折时宗教有时就能填补一些心灵上的空虚感。我对佛教就是取其精神，但一些自己觉得做不到的（像持终生素）就不必勉强了。但这并不说明我不虔诚，因为释迦摩尼佛初创教的时候就从不勉强信徒终生持素。

"那么你们是不是要每天念经？”朋友又问。当然不，佛教的中心思想的传播并不是全靠经文的。为什么？因为经文是梵文的阿，我又不会梵文。

然后就问到最难回答的问题了：“佛教的中心思想是什么？”

寒山问拾得：世间有人谤我、欺我、辱我、笑我、轻我、贱我、骗我，如何处置？拾得曰：只要忍他、让他、避他、由他、耐他、不要理他，再过几年你且看他

这个典故说的是不要拿别人的过错来惩罚自己，忍让别人就是远离纷争的办法。在佛教里这是一种超尘脱俗的境界，但在许多西方人眼里这却是弱者的表现。不过佛教讲求的是心灵上的平和，这肯定和争强好胜的心态背道而驰吧。

活在当下

这是个相当难懂的道理。“当下”指的就是现在。人要快乐，就应该把握现在，做自己想做的事，而不是懊悔着过去，期望着未来。人生是无常的，未来是否会来到很难说，而过去已无法挽回，为什么不接受它，让它过去呢？这样个说法也不是每个人都能接受的，很多人认为不展望未来既是不思进取，满足于现况，无疑是消极的态度。

放生，助人，慈悲为怀

这句话更不得了。我有个朋友反应很快地说，现在这种弱肉强食的时代，太过善良反而会遭人欺。也不是没道理阿，在马来西亚就有很多这样的例子。下雨天开车时如果见到路边有个人向你招手你会停下来吗？很多人会忙摇头说不，万一是强盗怎么办？针对这点我也不否认，其实宗教和很多别的东西一样不是绝对的。释迦摩尼佛说这句话时是在二千五百年前比较单纯的社会，在现在这种世风败坏的年代当然我们应该见机行事嘛！随着时代的变化宗教不应一成不变。

对我来说正派宗教推崇的都是良好的价值观，所以我并不会到处说佛教比其他宗教好（不像一些人到处毁谤别人的宗教信仰）。个人觉得只要是带有理智地去信它（不是迷它），不走极端路线，任何宗教都会改善人心，带动人格上的升华。

Free food, Volunteering dream

2008-06-23T10:41:00.006+10:00

This year we made it an effort to go for MUV free food parties as we reckon those costs are nothing but inclusive in the expensive rent we paid. Yesterday night was one of those of which we wanted to maximise our utility. We went for the free hot dog party at admin green. The guys ate like dinosaurs (each of them grabbed like 3 or 4 hot dogs) while I just ate two because we decided to not cook dinner, again. The sausages were alright, but the most important thing is that we finally get to chill out and chit chat without having to worry about studies and exams - which is by the way, rare for actuarial students.

After our sausages session we went to Unit 111 to continue chilling out. The three (crazy) girls, quanyie, chia ling and selina, went to Paramatta for shopping therapy and they bought what seemed to me like dozens of accessories for $2 each. That was really CHEAP :0). And they wanted to turn me into one of the bimbo gang next time when they go DFO. Yea thinking of it, I should learn to like shopping the way they do. Sometimes I'm just too lazy to walk from shop to shop comparing prices and screaming on top of my lungs over seemingly good deals. Shall do more of that soon. Of course, that would only be possible if I have enough money to spend on material wants. I'm thinking of going Adelaide to visit my cousins end of this year and that would mean MONEY MONEY MONEY, as usual.

For some weird reason Yeam, fellow Taiping folk studying in ANU, demanded a video for his birthday. The three shopaholics were busy parading with their newly-acquired treasures and eventually as they had settled with what to wear we took that (funny) video (*shake head).

After that we did rubbish talking and at one point we were discussing about "the possibility of going on exchange or on a volunteer programme". Quanyie said exchange will cost at least 4 or 5K (this is definitely beyond my means) while volunteering would cost something like 2 or 3 K due to the recently soaring petrol price. Personally I think those are fabulous experience that a uni student studying overseas should not miss. But then, money is really a problem. How could we afford these money without working like crazy and forgoing time for our studies? No way.

I so wish that I were rich.

冬。感触。温情

2008-06-21T20:08:00.020+10:00

四川大地震发生的时候我应该还在埋头苦读准备考试吧？有一次和housemates去买家用回程途中经过 U @ MQ building，看到很多人集聚在一张桌子，上边有个布条写着类似“上天无情，人间有情”，“募捐救济汶川灾民”的字眼。当时我手提着很多东西，心里一直就是想着要快点回家读书，没有停下脚步，更不用说捐款了。

现在我为这件事感到有点后悔。

事发正好是week 12 还是week 13, 学业是忙得不得了，没有多少时间去跟踪地震的新闻，也没有真正地体会到这次的地震破坏性有多大。后来看了youtube 还有一些大陆网站的报道，图片，才知道原来这次死的人真的有好多好多。很多年纪小小，根本还没真正体会到人生乐趣的小孩就在上课一半时被倒塌的瓦砾压死了。尤其在“一孩政策”下中国家庭通常都只有一个孩子，很多家长带着泪水焦急地在破瓦堆里找着孩子的画面真的让我看了都觉得痛心。家长痛失孩子，受的是白头人送黑头人的伤痛; 失去双亲的小孩必须单独面对茫茫人海，从被疼爱一夜间变得举目无亲，这其中的苦楚只有当事人才能真正了解。

youtube 有人上传了台湾中视的救灾节目“把爱传出去”，主持人还有演艺圈里传媒界里政治界里的人都很积极地参与救灾募款，说到很多令人心酸的故事。印象比较深刻的一个 -

一个小学生被拯救人员救起，口袋里手机上有一个简讯：孩子，如果你还活着，记得爸妈爱你。

听了都起鸡皮疙瘩，很感人又很令人心酸。

生命在大自然前显得是多么微弱。

发达的科技，突破性的发展，在地震来临的那刻都变得微不足道。灾难来得不知不觉，让人手足无措。从灾民眼神中看出来他们是多么地渴望帮助，渴望问候，渴望关怀。一切身外物，金钱名利地位都已经不重要了，他们就只是希望家人朋友都平安。

看到这种报道，我们活着的人难道不应觉得自己能够呼吸其实就是一种福气吗？没有地震，没有灾难的马来西亚，是个多么好的地方啊！（我个人觉得其实除去政治上的因素，犯罪案的频密，马来西亚是得天独厚。）

我看了这些真的很有心想捐一点钱表示心意，但这件事好像在澳洲这里热度过了，有点内疚当时为什么没有认真想一想该不该捐款。虽然我错失了出一点微薄力量的机会，我衷心希望四川那里的人振作起来重新建造家园。虽然我有时会对中国有些意见，但是在这种灾难发生时政治上的分岐是应该被搁下的。

爱心是没国界之分，在大自然前人类是平等的，无论你是贫是富，是贵是贱。

Post-exam

2008-06-21T16:24:00.008+10:00

Finished with my last paper yesterday morning, and being too happy and excited about my new-found freedom in ages I went out with fellow housemates Victor Chua, Chen Chin and friend Victor Yeoh to the city (for just the second time this year, I think). We had planned for this outing long time ago, and being so deprieved of entertainment during the exam period we decided to go sing karaoke.

Yes we SANG our lungs out. For three full hours. In the beginning it was frustrating as the microphones weren't set properly and thus gave out loud squeeking noices when we sang. Irritating. But we did manage to get the problem resolved. Nothing could stop our enthusiasm to scream and yell and do all sorts of funny noices in that room. All of us went for Taiwanese songs, namely those of 周杰伦，周华健 and some of the others. Such is the influence of the Taiwanese entertainment sector on us Chinese Malaysians. Sadly enough, none of us know any of the Malay song and none of us even bothered to find out what sort of songs they have in Malay.

And for some reason I had a crave for oldies yesterday. I sang some of the classical tunes that my friends may had never heard of. 一剪梅，恰似你的温柔，你怎么舍得我难过，爱相随，花心，其实不想走etc. Some contemporary songs are well-composed but they just can't seem to satisfy one aspect of music: the ability to withstand the passing of time. Oldies that survive all this while till today are what we could truly say, excellent.

Anyway, that was our karaoke session.

After that, we happily spent our money and ate dinner at one Thai restaurant, after so long eating stir-fried chicken and veggie with rice for dinner at home. I wasn't sure if the quality is what I should call good (I think it probably is ordinary), but it was really satisfying after using up all our energy at the karaoke.

Then we board the bus back and reached home around 11.00pm. I called mummy to chit chat. It was nearly frustrating when I just somehow couldn't get through the line to Malaysia. I did eventually and fortunately the line was clear. It was so good to hear mummy's voice since I hadn't been calling back home for two weeks due to exams. So mummy said Jetstar has cancelled the flight between Sydney and KL, that means I would have no choice but to go back with an expensive air ticket end of this year. Sigh. Anyway I chatted with mummy and papa for more than an hour. Went to bed at almost 1am.

From seashells to credit cards, why we have no choice but to be money-minded

2008-06-11T20:05:00.016+10:00

We heard of the saying "money is the root of all evil". But, as much as any self-declared money-is-not-my-priority person would like to deny, there is no way that our world will be what it is today without the brilliant invention of this evil thing named money. It's widely believed that the history goes more than 5000 years ago when people started trading with seashells.

Your computer which is staring back at you now wouldn't even exist, the meal that you had just taken wouldn't be there for your, the movie that you had watched few days ago wouldn't be heard of ... (the list goes on), if the evil little notes and coins are not invented in the first place.

It is the ultimate medium of circulation, transaction, exchange,incentives and most importantly - penalty. Money has never ceased to play an important role in every aspect of our life. If it wasn't for money, you weren't be working hard (of course, there are exceptions for people who genuinely love the toil and tumble of their jobs). Most of the time, what people meant by "I love my job" is really just "I love the reward from the job, and to prevent myself from suffering I learn to love the job as well."

Without money, there is little incentive for students to study hard. A sad reality of modern education, but if money didn't exist there wouldn't be so many of us burrying our heads amidst the books in the university library. Some very relevant examples are students doing their courses on money-related field. Actuarial studies, finance, accounting, business etc etc are all rubbish had money not exist. Interest rates, the trade-off between present and future values blablabla are non-sensical in a world without money.

Hence the root of all evil is indeed the basis of everything that human world has.

The whole branch of 'human science' were born about as early as money was invented. Economy grows, trading started, all human race has been prospering since then. Concepts which are intangible, ranging from the basic ideas about cash flows, liquidity, exchange rates to a whole set of macroeconomic jargon e.g. growth, inflation, turnover volume, chain effects, spill-over effects aka rippling effects, are here since then. Where would these things stand if we rid our world off the evil thing called money? Nothing but nonsence.

And then there is this great idea to enable people to spend beyond their means - the hidden inducement to spend on unnecessary things - the credit card system. Money becomes intangible, and is replaced by the action of one swipping his/her card across the machine, and the purchase is done. No sight of income flowing out, nothing but the pleasure of holding the new-owned items.

No one could safely say that he doesn't care about money, unless he is prepared to be isolated permanently from the money-based world and stay in the jungle eating self-planted crops for lifetime. One choice is in our hands, however.

Money: We master it, or let it master us.

On a lighter note:

Girls = Money * Time

Since Time=Money, Girls = Money * Money =

Money is the root of all evil ==> Money * money = evil

Hence, Girls =Evil

Ever wonder why your money keep disappearing?

$1 = 100 cent = 10*10 cent = $0.1*0.1=$0.01=1 cent

Advice from JF: take care of your units

What we're all after, actually？

2008-06-06T19:04:00.008+10:00

Week 13 had finally come to an end. The last couple of days of official uni classes were to say the least eventful - in both good and bad ways. But I'm truly proud of the fact that I have come this far, with the final hurdle (to quote Toomas Truvert) to be strived through starting next week.

However this is not what makes me decided to write in this space today. I once thought that I would probably not do any writing at least before the exams. But no, I'm here again.

I saw our amazing lecturer JF (you know who) on my way back from a tiring day of uni plus grocery shopping. All I have to say is that he's the most uber fascinating lecturer in probably the entire Actuarial Department in Macquarie University. I once heard about him being a real professional specialising in Life insurance, and being a fellow IAA he must be rich - at least rich enought to buy a decent car and petrol.

But there I saw this man walking with his hiking bag, one hand carrying a huge umbrella, and the other - you will never guess it I bet - a PILLOW. It wasn't a new pillow brought from mac cen trust me. It looked like it was a used pillow. I was wondering, why does he need to bring a pillow to his office? And why oh why, is he walking to uni everyday given his qualification and consequently, wealth.

So it all boils down to one question: what EXACTLY are we working hard for. I just turned 20 two days ago and it hits me hard that I'm no longer a 'raw teenager'. Reaching 20 means that I'm gradually getting closer and closer to real adulthood.

Is it really money that matters? Going back to JF's example, what makes a well-established actuary willing to walk to uni everyday, speaks and dress like an ordinary folk. Really, I 've been wondering about this since last year when I was first introduced to this unique being in ACST211. Another fellow interesting actuary is Prof. John Pollard. He travelled around the world in minivan with his wife 30 years ago and did it again last year with some sort of " high technology recording the entire journey for the pleasure of his grandchildren". What a life man!

Massive style change after this

2008-06-03T13:31:00.005+10:00

Getting kinda bored with the routine writing on my life. I'm not saying that my life is boring, but it is really repetitive that you wouldn't wish to listen to my old story over and over again. Study, gym, cooking etc etc are not gonna draw too much interest from readers I guess.

Hence my spur-of-the moment decision to carry out a so called "massive alteration of flavour" in this space. As my exams are approaching you probably would guess that there wouldn't be too many posting before 20th June. But I have decided to take a break from my crazy revision just to post up some phrases that I not only adore but would love to adopt as my life principles.

不生气歌
Don't be angry

人生就像一场戏，相扶到老不容易；
Life is just like a drama, it's not easy to get someone whom you can spend a lifetime with
因为有缘才相聚，是否更该去珍惜；
It's destiny that make us together, so shouldn't we cherish it?
为了小事发脾气，回头想想又何必；
In restrospect, we would realise that we often unnecessarily throw tantrums at minor things
别人生气我不气，气出病来无人替；
Let others be angry but not myself, for if I were to fall sick because of my bad mood there wouldn't be anyone who can compensate me for that
我若气死谁如意，况且伤神又费力；
Neither would anyone be happy if I die because of bad temper, not to mention being angry is something that comsumes my energy and soul
邻居亲朋不要比，儿孙琐事由他去；
Don't always compare yourself with you neighbours, relatives, friends, let go of your children, grandchildren when it is the right time to do so
吃苦享乐在一起，神仙羡慕好伴侣
May we be together for good and bad times; if so, even fairies will envy our closeness as a couple.

I hope my translation isn't too bad.

I WILL BE BACK

2008-05-23T18:08:00.001+10:00

after the final exam

more goldcoast pictures

2008-04-29T13:34:00.010+10:00

My trip to GOLD COAST

2008-04-26T12:01:00.021+10:00

The pictures are not in the right order as I'm too lazy to arrange them.

This is Q1 -tallest residential building in the world

Tut tut car - movie world

fake sceneries - wet n wild

Wild west fall - movie world

Mammoth fall - wet n wild . (not scarry at all one)

I like this one the most throughout the trip. Felt like flying. - wet n wild

This one is roller coaster at movie world. Fun!!! Backward drops rock!

Bank at movie world

4D motion movie - shrek

Lethal weapon roller coaster. scarriest one I ever tried. Did you see that human's legs are left daggling?? Yeh, I went for this.

Superman roller coaster. second scarriest

At Sydney airport.

Each picture says a thousand words so I don't really need to narrate too much here (hence my excuse for cutting short my blog because I'm just too lazy to blog these days, the excitement of putting something on this space somehow wears off since my summer holiday):(

Basically, I went gold coast with 4 other girls and 3 housemates. We departed on 19th April 2008, had 5 days of crazy stuff there and came back on 23rd April 2008, 11.00pm at night (and reached home at 12-ish am on 24th April 2008). Lethargic as it sounds, but we had heaps of fun and I never regret for a second for spending quite a substatial amount throughout the trip (partly because JPA money is coming in soon, yay!)

See lah if I become less lazy tomorrow I might put on more pics on this entry. I can't stand the speed of my internet.

Nothing special

2008-04-09T21:38:00.004+10:00

these days except:

a quiz with limited time tomorrow
STAT272 assignment due on Friday

and most importantly,

our mid semester holiday is beckoning.

Untitled

2008-03-26T18:08:00.003+11:00

There's nothing interesting to blog about but I just feel like leaving some words here for those who are wondering how I'm doing.

Life's been just as mundane. Uni, work, tutorials, assignments, quizzes etc.

My gym-going habit is still on. Glad to have made it a habit to at least do some workout everyday, I feel great and healthy.

I'm loving nuts. Cashew nuts especially. But after finishing 1kg of cashew in a week +++ I decided to try on mixed nuts when I went grocery-shopping today. Hmm...it isn't bad but I still prefer cashew lol.

As well, I opened the big packet of green tea that Natalie gave me last year and hey, it is of such a top quality that I can't help but feeling like having it everyday. Haha...luckily I brought a teapot from Malaysia, otherwise it will be money-spending again.

I guess, till next time.

Snapping pic for the sake of snapping

2008-03-10T22:41:00.004+11:00

And so I took a pic of myself just because a fren of mine complained that my blog is lacking colours.

Of course as I took the pic myself I 've got to be within an arm's length from the camera, causing my face to look disproportionally big >.<

Life as a second year Actuarial student

2008-03-04T16:48:00.005+11:00

Yes, I'm that old already.

I'm taking 3 subjects this semester, but this is in no way implying that my life will be easier as compared to that of my last term, as STAT272 and ACST200 are no play play. There're subjects to be assessed to obtain exemptions from the professional paper. Meanwhile my third unit, ACCG253, does not sound any easier as well! So my workload could be equivalent or even more than that in my first year.

Just like last year, I signed up for term membership at Macquarie gym, and had since been working out almost on a daily basis (except, of course, days in a month where girls shouldn't be exercising). This year it's great fun as most of my frens get excited about the prospect of working out and had decided to join too. lol.

I moved to Unit 30 this year and am so far pleased with what staying with my new housemates has to offer. We cook dinner together, which is by comparison, much easier than cooking for a single person. And being teased for gaining weight when I was back in M'sia, this year I have decided to cut down kao kao on my snacking habit. No more Doritos, fatty bread and chocolate jam, Tim Tams except once in a while. And hey man, I finally can fit into my old jeans, wakakaka.

Yeh I'm also being healthier than before, after spending a couple of dollars on apple cider vinegar and honey to be made into drinks before bed every night.

Oh and I wasn't interested in attending Mardi Gras (those gay and lesbian parade thing that I blogged about last year) anymore and so had just missed it on purpose. I think most of us didn't go. Heard from Hai De that it had just as much ppl crazying on the streets as of last year. I was like, well, I wasn't there this year.

Overall I'm glad to be starting uni again as I finally start on something meaningful after three months of, well, slacking around. Of course this does not mean I didn't enjoy the holidays. I enjoyed every bit of it to the fullest. What I'm saying is that holidays are meaningful only if it comes after a semester of slogging as its purpose is to allow our poor brain a good rest to move forward later on.

I HOPE I WILL SURVIVE WELL. 加油加油！

A mixture of sadness and excitement

2008-02-22T23:57:00.005+11:00

A long long silence and here I'm back to this space. P/s: sorry ho sheng, wasn't able to do any updates with the connection I had at home. I'm gone and back: gone from my lovely home and back to my second home in Sydney. Yeap, for long I have viewed my little room in Macquarie University Village as my home second to the one in Taiping. A tried and trusted way to kill home-sickness, so to say.

I realise that I can no longer bring more stuff from Malaysia next time. My room is literally FULL with all my stuff. Clothes and shoes especially. My cupboard looks like it's gonna throw out if I try to squeeze more clothes into the poor little thing. Not to mention my junk is like ..... well, you understand don't you?haha

Uni life is starting on Monday. It's time for more struggling after a long vacation. I was hoping that my brain didn't get too lazy after all the drama-watching, lepaking and chit-chating over this three months. STAT272 is already up and ACST200 course is bought. The race has begun, once again, and hopefully the three months did serve as a great recharge and I've sharpened my saw for the new journey.

I'm in my second year - it's going to be a much tougher year.

我每一次离家，都会问自己：你要达到什么？你离开是为了什么？下一次回家，你能带回分享的成就又是什么？

休息是为了走更远的路，但是什么时候该休息，什么时候该冲刺，也是一门技术。不该休息的时候休息，是怠慢；该休息的时候不休息，是莽撞。人之所以分上下，除了天资，就在这里了。

往后看，走过来的路崎岖不平；往前看，路面弯曲，拐弯角处不见尽头。

恭喜发财！！新年快乐！！

2008-02-07T13:12:00.000+11:00

It feels like ages since I last posted updates on this space. Blame the slow dial-up internet connection at my home. Yeah, it may seem strange to you why some homes of today's age still don't have the so called 'broadband' or 'streamyx' (I hope I got the spelling right), "but these things spoil kids ," so said my dad. Yes, they indeed do. We used to have unlimited internet connection at home and the result? No one seems to be interested in anything other than the computer. And guess what? The line was cut barely three months after the service was installed!

Today is the first day of Chinese New Year (初一). Had a fabulous reunion dinner last night. We stuffed ourselves with all the dishes and felt full without even taking the rice! As my last Chinese New Year (2007) was spent touring around Sydney I was pretty excited about celebrating it back in Malaysia. The atmosphere is just different when the celebration is at where you are familiar with.

My laptop problem is finally solved. The password problem is solved and I found out why my computer is getting slower each time I watched online drama. It's the additional memory for the buffering of movies stored in my hard disk. I cleared all those junk and wow, my hard disk has extra over 20 G now!

Oh yea, class registration was done yesterday. I will have Tuesday free for the first semester and Friday free for the second semester. Yahoo!!! Time flies fast, my three- month summer holiday is almost over. I'm getting a little excited about going back to uni life after all the times lazying and doing nothing at home. Am glad to see my family and old friends here. Most of them are doing well in life.

May 2008 be the year filled with prosperity and happiness. May the soul of my fellow JPA scholar who passed away recently rest in peace, you are loved by many. May we be blessed with good health and an exciting year ahead.

祝大家：

新年快乐
万事如意
出入平安
身体健康

HEAT WAVES

2008-01-10T14:22:00.000+11:00

"...(7 news) temperature in Victorial is expected to go above 40 degrees, increasing the possibilities of bush fire..."

"...(from Australian government) Dress up when you are outdoor to prevent skin cancer..."

Whenever I switch on teevee messages, news reports etc that revolve around the issue of heat are bombarded on poor me. Temperature soars, we were forced to stay indoor to prevent our skins getting dark. Shh....obviously I wish to stay fair before going back to Malaysia in few days time. The last thing I hope from my frens in Taiping is exclaimation like this: Oh....you get a layer darker. Unthinkable. People should become fairer after spending a year in Australia :)

While I was taking a short nap my internet has exceeded the limit of 10G and hence is speed -limited. Sigh, evidence of how much of online drama-watching I had been doing this summer holiday thus far. Was planning to watch 情定大饭店 but it doesn't look likely now. Sad sad sad.

Reports about the American presidential election dominates the foreign programmes lately. Images of Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, John MacCain etc are shown over a thousand times and it actually makes a person who isn't that interested in American politics such as myself to start understanding all the polls and stuff that are happening half a globe from Australia.

Been taking good dinners recently with Natalie as we decided to eat well to function well. Tomyum fried rice yesterday, Pasta and Garlic Bread are pending for tonight.

At the time of publication,

I was :

feeling hot in the living hall of Unit 30

listening to MORE news reports about Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton (sien..every channel is telling the same story)

cursing the speed-limited internet connection

feeling lucky because Harvin's fan is still with me (if that Indian guy does not come pick it up before I go back to Malaysia he would be doomed)

feeling a little HUNGRY

Till the next time, take care.

Best wishes

2008 - What would it bring???

2008-01-03T23:32:00.000+11:00

Many of my friends prefer to do a yearly summarising blog entry. I beg to differ as I prefer looking forward instead of backward on every new year. Yeah, it's good to learn from the past and see what a particular year has given you to help you grow up, but it's pretty much pointless because what you learned is already learned and thus the summary does nothing more than a little reminder. Of course, unless you wish to read back your blog later on but just being lazy to go through every entry then perhaps the little summary will do some good. :)

2008 will be my second year in Australia of being an actuarial student. Phew..to be honest it was such a relief on 14th Dec after I knew that I have survived and done well for my first year studies. That's perhaps the starting point of all the true happiness during my summer holiday. It's not just important to get through but also to do well in Macquarie in order to justify the amount of money spent on us by the Malaysian Government. Although some may think that uni life is the greatest time in one's life and one ought to enjoy it to the fullest as for most people it would be a time with no commitments, I prefer to see it as a responsibility to try my best in my studies. Of course, that does not mean I should not enjoy myself here. But being the kind of person I am, the first criterion to happiness is to feel no guilt about letting myself down. Contrary to the belief held by people who do not know me in person, I'm not obsessed with perfection. All I did so far is to justify my being offered a JPA scholarship and will continue to do so in future.

Besides studies, another thing I hope for in 2008 is to be able to participate more in campus activities. We hadn't done so in my first year due to the unfamiliarity to the environment during my first semester and the hectic 5-unit-per-semester schedule in the second half of the year.
I should properly acquaint myself with the people in ASSOC (Actuarial Student Society) as they may be of help with my understanding more about the profession. I've got to be sure of where I'm heading to after hopefully 4 years of uni life. The job market will certainly be much more competitive as compared to the small circle of my fellow actuarial student colleague.

On a lighter note, I also hope to get some working experience that is more related to my field. I feel that I should probably take up something not too time-consuming but would provide good understanding on the Australian Financial System and the Insurance and Superannuation industry. It's tough to even get a part-time job in the highly saturated Australian job market but I need to try harder in my job finding before I can even hope to secure a good job. My friend, Ken, just told me on new year's eve that he sent out 100 resumes and only got 1 reply from a cafe in Eastwood. Why am I complaining of not being able to get a good second job when I had only sent out at most 15 resumes?? I was simply not trying hard enough I think.

Before all the struggle, tears and pain of my second year studies, I shall go back Malaysia for a 40-day vacation with my beloved family and friends whom I haven't seen for long. I missed Chinese New Year in 2o07 and thus am really looking forward to an authentic Malaysian-style celebration this coming Chinese New Year.

人生就像现场直播
没有彩排，没有预先准备
把握在台上的一分一秒
不要让自己后悔

THE LAW OF DIMINISHING MARGINAL UTILITY

2007-12-29T20:06:00.000+11:00

applies so much to HOLIDAYS!!!

Not to mention the slow internet connection which really piss me off.

But interesting stuff are coming, coz it's 29th November 2007 today, which means new year is nothing but beckoning.

Yeah!! Time to celebrate and have fun.

NO!!! How can time fly so fast??Damned, I'm turning 20 in June next year. OMG, am really feeling old now.

Been excited about going home on 14th January for a 40-day vacation in Malaysia. Been missing family and frens much and hopefully I can see most of them when I finally go back. Frens in msian uni's are starting their semester soon but I hope they will at least go back to Taiping once a fortnight or so for me to meet up and yamcha with them. Haven't seen some of them for ages really.

Too much of something is always not good. Yeah, the law of dimishing marginal utility. That defines human. We complain so much during the semester for not being able to have time for ourselves yet we complain during hols for having too much time for too little things to do. lol.

But it's not all boring and gloomy as some frens of mine here are really semangat. Dinner on Dong Zhi, christmas eve and I'll definitely set out early to watch the firework in Sydney on 31th December 2007.

Don't you think that time is flying so fast that it actually scares you???

I do.

Without yourself realising it, time is passing away and very soon you will be a graduate, a parent, a grandparent.....OMG stop that!!!

I just wanna watch my drama now. HAHAHA

Can you believe

2007-12-22T16:07:00.000+11:00

that I'm paying $40 for a shitty internet connection here?It's RM120..and the connection goes off and on every 5 minutes. Startech, you are DAMNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that I'm on holiday doing nothing besides reading papers, novels and watching dramas? Need to really recharge in this 3 months before heading to new challenges in my second year.

that I'm capable of baking? So far had baked lemon cheesecake, cheesecake brownie, butter scones, french onion scones, banana cake. Not bad for someone who just started baking for less than a month.

that I ate pasta for dinner at 4.00pm today? Yeah, coz I'm trying to cut down on food intake here. The food here is 10 times more fattening than the Malaysian food!!

that it's 1/3 of my holiday is over?

that I'm still cursing the stupid internet connection?

that I love the shower outside my window? Because I'm indoor lol.

that I'm less than a month away from going home? Don't get me wrong, this is not to grumble like someone living next door. I'm just stating a plain fact that I love my family and my home and am always excited about going home. I love life in Australia too, especially the one I'm leading now.

that my kitchen is sooo dirty? Am gonna ask Harvin to clean it with me tonight.

that Sarah sent me a bitchy letter? She was trying to sound like a white by using the word 'fu*k' everywhere. The fact is, she made herself sound like a real BITCH.

that I woke up at 9pm this morning, only to go back to sleep at 11pm and woke up again at 2pm. Was really tired last night.

that I'm writing nonsense in this blog entry?

that I decide to stop writing nonsense now?

Yeah rite

2007-12-17T18:16:00.000+11:00

I was thinking about putting up pictures but the thing in the draft has gone corrupted.

Now super lazy to do everything all over again.

P/S Ho sheng, you and the pics 有缘无份. Sigh....

Well, I'm happy with my second semester result, but am reminding myself that second and third year will be at least 10 times harder.

Have been enjoying myself heaps. Chrismas is beckoning, though I'm not a Christian it is something to look forward to. There will be tonnes of nice stuff and a mega celebration in Sydney. Something not to be missed by us international students.

Plan to do some baking tomorrow. Shall I make scones or shall I try making pau?? I have the yeast which can be used to make both. Hm...I'll make up my mind tonight perhaps.

Natalie left to China and left her key for me. So I can literally say that I have access to a 200++dollar- a - week apartment. A nice place to rest when I'm bored at my $169-per-week five-bedroom apartment.

Life's been great

2007-12-13T12:53:00.000+11:00

3 weeks of 堕落生活since final exam.

But I fully deserve this 3 months of enjoyment and lazing-around-doing-nothing lifestyle. Been working really hard during semester and hence regardless of the final outcome, I AM PROUD OF MYSELF.

Had Udong noodles for lunch today, and baked banana cake yesterday with Liu Yue. Nice and puffy stuff, I like the banana cake.

For the past 1 week, I had been travelling on travel pass. Am sure the utility I've got from it far surpasses the $38 I paid, haha. On the first day itself I travelled on a monetary worth of 20++ already, what more to say about the following 6 days?

Just attended a research by Macquarie University. Got my $30 from that one hour and 30 minutes. The experimentor is a phD student of Neurology. She chatted with me during the break and it was nice to chat with a local white after so long.

These few day's been raining. The sky always looked gloomy and the wind is often strong. Have thought about going for a swim later but it depends on the weather - hope it would be fine at 5pm.

You will certainly see an update on this blog soon. Meanwhile I need a nap and catching up with the TVB drama series which I take ages to finish.

Tata!

HOLIDAY MOOD IS ON

2007-12-04T10:37:00.000+11:00

It's only the second week of my long summer holiday yet I feel as if I've been enjoying life very much for some time. That shows how torturous my second semester was and the freedom we get after the last paper is just inexplicably delightful. Just finished watching the 2007 version of drama series 梁山伯与祝英台 and honestly I can say that it's the best drama series I've known thus far - not merely because of the melodrama demonstrated by this Chinese classic ( in fact, I know the rough storyline before watching yet it manages to persuade me to go one episode after episode) but also the warmth, courage portrayed between siblings, between parents and son/daughter. Dong jie is very well-suited for the role of Zhu Ying Tai and Ma Wen Cai (Chen Guan Ling) is very handsome. Haha, that's how girls are mesmerized, basically.

Currently tutoring a student twice a week and still looking for a second job. The thing about Marsfield is that there's always excess labour during semester holiday. As an analogy, if there's 100 people in the workforce, there are at least 300 people queuing up to wait for the 100 to leave their position. Get it? See how hard is it to earn money despite the high wages offered. Sigh.....

Most of my friends minus me, Chean Yeaw and Weng Soon, had left Sydney for home. For me it's because I haven't been really enjoying life in Sydney during semester so it would really pay for me to stay here during December just to experience the atmosphere during Chrismas and Happy New Year. Heard from Harvin that the celebration will be gregarious and the last thing I should do is to miss it, lol.

Chatted with my brother Wen Li last night at 12 something midnight. Heard from him that Taiping is starting to develop with the likes of TESCO, GIANT opening. WOOHOO!! That means the duopoly FAJAR and THE STORE will face more competition and the prices of goods will be falling like no one's business. The timing will be perfect for me to go back in January to shop, haha.

This post is starting to get too long. I'll just stop here for this time.

I'm tagged by my neighbour

2007-12-01T15:54:00.000+11:00

1. I am listening to: Qian Li Zi Wai by Fei Yu Qing

2. Maybe I should : Drag myself to look for a job

3. I love : Holiday

4. My best friend : This is too subjective to answer

5. I don't understand : how some people think gaming is more fun than DRST.

6.I lose : my ignorance towards certain things as time goes

7. People say : that defeat only happens if you give up

8. The meaning of my screen name is : I’ve been busy enjoying myself to even put on one

9. Love is : eternity thousands years ago, but it is materialism, reality, wealth, knowledge, social status etc in the modern world (sigh… have been watching drama that’s why)

10. I will always : try my best and leave the rest to God

11. Forever : I don’t think anything will last forever. So cherish what you’re having now!!!

12. I never want to : let myself down

13. My cellphone is : LG branded

14. When I wake up in the morning : I will drag myself to study desk during semester, lazing around during holidays

15. I get annoyed at : literally nothing, if there is my irritation wouldn’t last long. Because I know happiness is important.

16. Parties are : dangerous

17. My dog is : I don’t have one

18. Kisses are worst when : I’ll tell you when I have experience on this.

19. Today I am : still gonna enjoy myself

20. Tonight I will : still gonna enjoy myself

21. Tomorrow I will : still gonna enjoy myself. Don’t forget it’s holiday

22. I really want : to get another job

23. When I looked at myself in the mirror today I : comb my hair and wonder why the mirror is so dirty lol

24. I will drive my car : not at the moment.

25. A word that rhymes with park is : shark

26. Bright or dark room? : bright except when I am asleep

27. If I'm alone in a room with two beds I : You think I’m so rich meh??

28. Now to tag people:

I tag all my blog readers

Pure randomness

2007-11-27T11:57:00.001+11:00

"Thank you for teaching me what the true world is like.Thank you for inflicting upon me what is my toughest year so far.Thank you for letting me learn what true friends are made of.Thank you for letting me experience a true crafter of manipulation. Thank you for allowing me the chance to know how fake a person can be."

I so happen to read this in my neighbour's blog. I think I can write some useful reminders for myself.

A true word is like a coin - there are two sides, one labeled with 'good', another with 'evil'. And 99% of the time, you choose which side is to be facing up.

In the modern world free of slavery, and provided that you're not a victim of criminal activities, no action from other people will inflict pain on you unless you ALLOW that to happen.

Manupulation is what life is make of. We manupulate things in our favour most of the time. So what's wrong with that?? Everyone does that, and we should all understand that human beings act in self-interest. To put in another way, you only have yourself to blame if you fall for any. And usually that happens because you have done exactly the same thing to that person. The universal law of retribution, there it goes.

All of us, at some point in life, have to put on a mask. The reason is simple: We are imperfect, but we want perfection, so we act to be the way we want ourselves to be. We act in self-defense, we act in self-protection. We act when we attend interviews, when we do presentation, when we talk etc. Acting is an essential part of life, otherwise life is all gloomy. Things are not always nice to see and nice to hear, but given the fact that most people prefer these, acting is essential and NOT CRIMINAL. Whenever we complain about how fake a person is, it is always useful to ask yourself : 'Have I done the same thing??'. Invariably, the answer is YES.

Haven't you heard of this chinese saying:

Life is a life drama - there is no preparation of scripts or plots. We are all life actors and we act to make the drama as pleasant as we can - but we don't always succeed - and that makes it a good drama.

Farewell, Joy

2007-11-27T11:23:00.000+11:00

I got this from her in the morning:

natalie sent 11/27/2007 12:47 AM:
joy here...

natalie sent 11/27/2007 12:47 AM:
it goes like this it was great getting to know you....

natalie sent 11/27/2007 12:48 AM:
thank you for all that you've done and thank you for teaching me valuable lessons

natalie sent 11/27/2007 12:48 AM:
i've never have learned how it is to have true friends if i

natalie sent 11/27/2007 12:48 AM:
i've not met you

natalie sent 11/27/2007 12:49 AM:
thanks you for being the wonderful person that you are and i wish you the very best in your future undertakings

Joy left Sydney in the morning and the effect is immediately seen. Natalie, her housemate who's been dependent on her as a mentor called me to complain about her presentation partner's poor behaviour. Sigh..... I will miss her. Natalie, time to learn going about things on your own.

Me and Ray will miss her cooking. Natalie will miss her being around like a big mama. Luckily she taught me how to make my precious cheesecake and very soon I may decide to give it a try myself. Yay!

We fellow JPA people plus Ray gave her a scrapbook and I wrote two pages of crap with a pink pen lol. She gave me tonnes of her stuff and whenever I asked her if she wants some of them back when she returns next year for graduation, she went like :"NO NO NO". I would say, oh well, thank you very much. (lol, I'm the second largest inheritor of her treasure, just after Ray).

Joy, your're a great friend and mentor. Although certain aspects of your life seemed bizarre when I first heard it (at the beginning of the year) I fully recognise that different people prefer different ways of living and the fact that I don't lead the same lifestyle as yours does not stop us from being very good friends. Do come back to visit us!

All the best in your careers and future endeavours.

MERDEKA ! MERDEKA ! MERDEKA!

2007-11-24T16:30:00.000+11:00

Yeah I know, today is not 31st August. Wonder why I say that?? You get it, my exams for 2007 are OVER and DONE WITH!! Woohoo!! From yesterday 1230pm, I don't have to see my closest friends during my semester --- MY BOOKS AND NOTES. They finally retire from being placed everywhere on my studying desk, they are getting their deserved rest now - and have been enjoying their retirement in peace....in a box at a corner of my room. Hahaha.

Perhaps I shall start planning for the coming 1.5 months before I go back to Malaysia. Drama series watching is essential to kill time lol together with other activities like hanging around with people whom I don't normally spend so much time with. Time to go the Ranch for a dance (but I will ALWAYS say no to alchoholic drinks!!) and also make a trip to some of the suburbs around Sydney. I've been to Chatswood, Eastwood, Paramatta thus far. Now is just a great time to loiter around Newcastle, Gordon and other places minus the city coz I've been there too often already.

My time during the semester had been devoted 99% to studies, 1% to working. MY BRAIN SERIOUSLY NEEDS A GOOD REST. Hehe, even if I feel like working there's no guarantee that I will get one because everyone will be fighting for the limited positions after exam. Sigh.sigh. And I try not to work for Asian bosses because they are way too stingy and 'ke bo' that I don't think it is worth my time working for them. I don't need money desperately until some other people so what is the point of torturing myself into working for those Chinese restaurant which pay workers at the rate of 5 or dollars an hour. Forget it, mister, and by the way, don't forget that you are asian, and forever an asian. You are in no way resembling an ang moh, for God's sake. lol. Some asians here are really ke bo towards asian. I will just reply, NO THANKS.

Justina came yesterday and will be staying in my room for the next 6 days. People finished exam way before I did and hence is not enjoying the freedom as much as I do now! lol. She has her gang of friends bringing her around Sydney so I needn't worry. I told her I 'm sick of Darling Harbour, Circular Quay etc and she went giggling and said she can understand that. And as expected she complained about the expensive bus fare here as compared to the ones in Melbourne. And I went like, "thats precisely why I don't go city that often, it costs me $8 for the ride itself."

Sydney is such an expensive place.

Last paper is as important as the first

2007-11-22T13:42:00.001+11:00

JIA YOU AHHHHH

JIA YOU!!!

2007-11-20T11:48:00.001+11:00

GAMBATE !!!!!

ECON111 tute questions & other stuff

2007-10-31T13:32:00.000+11:00

ACST 101 test was done just now. What's next???

1. Econ tute exercises to be done before lecture
2. ACST 211 tute to be done before Friday

FINAL EXAM timetable:

15th Nov ECON111
17th Nov ACCG105
20th Nov ACST101
22th Nov ACST211
23th Nov MATH133

After which kemerdekaan is achieved. (laughing out loud)

A true scenario of pain before gain, suffering before happiness. It's even more evident in the Actuarial course.

Of neutrality and EXAM

2007-10-23T21:36:00.000+10:00

few weeks before exam is a testing period of one's

resilience to stress
self-discipline -- STOP PLAYING
willingness to sacrifice leisure
ability to convince oneself to carry on loads of revision
prowess at speculating potential exam questions
consistency over the semester
friendship and independence
self-control and studying pace
time organisation
mental strengh aka psychological toughenness
ability to stamp out procrastination
ability to catch up with speeding uni work

and most importantly,

self-belief and the faith that as long as one tries his/her best, the rest is decided by God.

Less than a month before final exam......

2007-10-19T19:38:00.000+10:00

is the period of recession of my blog. There wouldn't be much interesting events narrated because there isn't any to start with!!!(laughing out loud)

A friend of mine told me " Four more weeks.." and I continued exactly as how he wanted it to be " and our nightmare will be over" hahaha.....everyone is stressed out, no doubt.

I need to finish up my accounting assignment, study for math test and catching up with loads and loads of work with the limited time I have. I have already cut down on gym-going (just like last semester during the month before exam) so that I can concentrate more on my preparation.

After exam Justina will visit me and we shall have heaps of fun! And Joy agreed to hang out with us before she runs off to Singapore. I hope I will manage to learn some baking skills from her during the week before she goes back.

In the face of mounting stress and uni work.

2007-10-15T23:58:00.000+10:00

ECON 111 assignment was due at 7.30pm just now. What's coming next???

1. Math133 assignment due on Wednesday.
2. I'm trying to finish Math tute and econ tute
3. I'll do my acst 101 assignment tomorrow morning
4. Maybe should catch up on techniques and elements last week
5. OMG i must also catch up on last week's accounting tute answer
6. Acst 211 tute to be done before Friday
7. Accounting generic assignment due next Wednesday, crap!
8. A Math test is awaiting on the same day

It's so true that consistency is the key to surviving Actuarial courses.
All the while I've been trying hard to catch up, but time is so so limited that I feel so breathless now. Maybe it's because Econ assignment had taken up too much time.

And my final exam starts lesss than a month from now.

I hope I can survive all this. Ah, back to math tute now......

A Random Post After ACCG Tutorial

2007-10-08T14:43:00.000+10:00

I am really getting a headache because of Econs assignment. It sucks because i am still clueless with the question about why national income is always less than the true value of output. It must have something to do with the formula, somehow, and I need to figure out that.

Asha Sekar was talking about the need for lecturers to gain respect from students. I totally agree with her. Sometimes lectures are noisy because of the lack of effort on the lecturer's part in building up mutual respect with the students.

I hope my Friday lecture would be more quiet after the change of lecturer.

MY SPRING BREAK - RECAP

2007-10-01T09:40:00.000+10:00

The past tw0 weeks fly pass and it's the last day of my mid sem break. I decided to do a bit of recall on what happened in the past 14 days.
HM.....what have I done???

1. Visit Canberra
2. Attend forum group that earned me $80 in 1.5 hour in Clarence Street (woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
3. Tutoring Tina -- and as usual, she paid me $45 for 3 hours
4. Celebrate Tang Long (or Mooncake) festival at unit 111 with my JPA and Malaysian gang. Yes, we had fun.
5. Empty talk with my housemate Harvin about her apparent 'wisdom and maturity' from dating a Bangladeshi for 6 months (so far)
6. Cook Bryiani and Curry chicken - they were yummy, thanks to Victor's Bryiani and Mummy's curry recipe
7. Catch up on my uni work
8. Assignments and Ants Pants Accounting Workbook --- lol

Now back to Econ worskshop exercise.............................and not to mention I have a test coming on Wednesday.

The really 'chim' (deep) philosophy behind the city of Canberra

2007-09-27T21:07:00.000+10:00

THE PARLIAMENT HOUSE

The first hall we arrived at after going through the entrance was this made-of european-materials place. Apparently it is meant to recognise Australia collonial past (under British).

However, as we walked further we stepped into the parts of the building made of Australian authentic materials. It represents a transition from collonial past till the present independent nation. When Kai Xun told us this it's 4.45pm and the parliament was set to close at 5.00 pm. So it was kinda funny because Kai Xun sounded like a professional tour guide talking really fast and all of us were just awed by his sheer knowledge. LOL.

The great wall tapestry. Yeah, from memory (i read the explanation on the sign board) this was produced by three great artists. The forest like image serves as a reminder of .....something like Australia has vast areas of land and the parliament is a place to improve the land's welfare....something like that.

This is the hall for the House Representative. The seats are in green colour. The corresponding Senator hall (which we didn't have time to go) is filled with red seats.

Can you see a Kangaroo and an Emu???

Both animals couldn't move backward. Australia hopes to move forward forever, so to say.

This patch of grass is on top of the Parliament House. The architect who designed the Parliament House really put in alot of thoughts into it. The grass allows the ordinary people to 'step' on their leaders when the parliament meeting is going on.

The people are the King, not the leaders.

And by the way the pathways connecting other places to the Parliament House are just slopes (no stairs). Again the idea is that ordinary Australians are on the same level as their leaders. They can just walk to them. (deep philosophy huh???)

This is the old Parliament House who has already been converted into a gallery.

I remember the weather was so cold (close to -2 degree celcius) that all of us were shivering in cold. For this reason we didn't actually stay long here.

We passed the National Science and Technology Centre but didn't get to visit due to time constraint. Hm...I will certainly pay a visit here next time I go Canberra. We missed out the War Memorial and this one.

Tee Shern Ren -- The reincarnation of Albert Einstein.

FLORIADE -- THE AUSTRALIAN CELEBRATION FOR SPRING.

Jason and me.

From left: Ru Xing, Pang Paing, Shi Shing and me

From left: Li Cheng, me and Sze Rhui

Tulips and me

We left Canberra at 3.00pm on 23 September 2007.

Thanks guys, I had lots of fun during the 45 hours we spent together. Yeah, we arrived at 6.00pm on Friday and left at 3.00pm on Sunday. Precisely 45 hours.

Special thanks to our couple of the trip: Kai Xun and Su Yin for organising our trip, Jason for being such a funny joker and co-tour guide.

My Spring trip to the city of CANBERRA

2007-09-25T23:32:00.000+10:00

My Friday 21st September started with taking some pictures of the cherry blossom trees in front of my house. They were bold during winter but see how pretty they are in spring.

Our journey from Sydney started at 3.00pm and we reached the peaceful city of Canberra around 6.30pm. Waiting at the station were Jason, Jared, Darryl, Leonard etc.

It was nice to see all of them after so long

We had dinner at this famous restaurant (according to them). I personally didn't find the food too fascinating but it was the joy of eating together with my fellow taylorians and two Inti-college people that made the bill worthwhile.

We visited the Ursula hall. Li Cheng and Pang Ping were crashing here. This is the com lab with all APPLE PCs. Apparently the hall imposes some form of quota on every resident on internet usage.

Jared reminded us to bring our passports because he wanted to bring us to 'A FEW BARS'

And yes, he honoured his promise.

We went BAR CRAWLING - moving from one bar to another - in a big group. The ang moh looked like us as if we were some nerds, or perhaps a bunch of teens who had just turned 18 and were eager to try out things unreachable by underaged.

We played drinking game and I lost twice (Sze Rhui, and Su Yin also lost twice; Kai Xun lost thrice; Jared wanted to lose but luck wasn't at his side :)

I drank 2 x half glass = one huge glass of beer and got a bit high and dizzy. But later we went bar dancing to kill the sleeping worm. Haha, and I ended up very energetic.

THE SECOND DAY................

We woke up and got ready for the day trip. But surprisingly the usually sleepy us woke up really really early.Thanks to the bright sunlight of Canberra that shone on my face.

We went to Australia National University.

And this is the ANU equivalent of Macquarie Uni's The Grand Walk

On top of the Telstra tower.

The bird-eye view of Canberra from Telstra tower.

There are flowers all over Canberra during spring. These are just puny little flowers which are step-resistant.

I took this pic on my way down from the Black Mountain on which the Telstra tower is located.

Lake Berley Griffin of Camberra. Canberra being a planned city has got no water - front. For the sake of feng-shui the Aussie dug a man-made lake, named after the architect of Canberra Berley Griffin

Australian History lesson thus began.

The museum's strange symbol. It looked like a roler coaster rail from far.

In front of the new parliament house with my fellow Canberran ex-Taylorians.

By the way Shern Ren (in yellow jumper) why you looked so ............... interestingly away from the camera??

Here goes the story that Kai Xun told us:

to be continue.....

Bathroom repair -- I DON'T LIKE !!!!

2007-09-17T14:04:00.000+10:00

I received a notice few days ago from MUV, telling me that I can't use my bathroom for 5 days due to a 'maintenance procedure'.

And this morning I was greeted by the repair person. He said he was about to make a lot of noice....

Look at the mess I'm in.

No wonder I can't use my bathroom....

Besides the noice, clearly the repair work has screwed up my room. There's dusk everywhere, on my clothes, my cabinet, and the laptop I'm using now.

Perhaps it's a good time to clean up my room after this.

I DON'T WANT ANYMORE REPAIRS!!!!!

Last day of first term!!!

2007-09-14T17:29:00.001+10:00

I hope the change of template has made my blog look less dead

Today is the last day of term 1 of my second semester. To look at it in a better way, it's the start of our two-week holiday.

I'm going Camberra in about a week time. It's gonna be enjoyable and I'll get to meet some of my old Taylor's college friends. Really look forward to that.

However, thanks to all the assignments, a significant part of my hols will be spent on uni work. Sigh.... (like as usual)

Today's actually the birthday of Macquarie Uni (they call it "Conception Day"). Too bad I forgot to get myself a ticket yesterday so I don't get to enter their party. Doesn't matter anyway I don't think I'll enjoy all the noices and parties and unlimited beers.

Me like peace and silence and the friendly chat I had with two fellow actuarial students just now. It's always nice to get to know people.

Holiday is coming again!!!!!

2007-09-10T16:41:00.000+10:00

But sadly we have math assignment to worry about. The due date has been postponed to the first Wednesday of our holiday due to some technical breakdown of the uni website.

Anyway, we are going Camberra which is something to look forward to.

Econs test is on Thursday so I need to study, study, study again.

Oh I'm having a mental block now.What shall I write???

By the way my Tesl housemate Harvin has got 2 more months in Australia. Recently I talked frequently with her about her plans for her future. Apparently she has a considerable savings here which can be converted into a large pool of Malaysian Ringgit, if she wants to. That day I was telling her about investing her money in term deposit, how to spread the risk etc.

That is the good thing about earning in Aussie dollar. You take back a small amount but after visitng the money changer the amount will triple out of a sudden. Hahaha

STUDY STUDY STUDY

2007-09-03T19:37:00.000+10:00

MATH 133 test tomorrow...........

It's week 6 already....this implies that half a semester has gone. Time goes and passes it's a new month again. September 2007.

We are all being tied up with uni work. No one is silly enough nowadays to suggest a hang-out at the city (something that we did often early this year).

I've just taken up tutoring - not because of the money but rather to gain some experience to boost my chance of getting a high-pay tutoring position next year or so.

I've decided to stay put at MUV although they have increased the rent again next year (it sucks, but what to do). I prefer to stay on-campus to save time. Imagine those people staying few kilometres away from campus. I'm sure they spend at least 5 dollars everyday on transport. I'd rather stick to MUV.

(such a boring post, rite?)

Am strangled by assignments

2007-08-26T21:36:00.000+10:00

The usual whining here. I have 5 assignments due next week and a test on Wednesday. Life is just 'great'.

I read some of my taiping friends' blog this afternoon, and was surprised to find them more mature after starting on their uni lives. Great to know. I feel that I miss them very much, especially those funny people like Jong Woei, Choy Yin , Lay Chin and many many more. Guess they are doing well in their respective path.

I went swimming this afternoonm, and had completed by usual training of 20 * 50m with all four strokes. My backcrawl has really improved since I started swimming every week.

Time to study for ACST101 test. I didn't go for Malaysian fest today as I feel that "the opportunity cost is just too high" - to use the economic way of explaining. Too much to sacrifice (assignments, test etc) and I'm 1000 times not willing to do so.

Another challenging week to come!

The importance of MATHS in life

2007-08-23T22:10:00.000+10:00

As opposed to what I usually write here (which are mostly boring routines of an actuarial student), let me try to enlighten you why you should do your maths homework at school and pay attention to what your maths teacher is talking in class.

My housemate Harvin was isolated from the world of maths lesson and homework for many years. Why? She is from art-stream, so obviously she didn't have any idea about additional maths and what more to say SAM Specialist Mathematics.

Few hours ago she knocked on my door and asked me to help her calculate her pay for this week. She looked so so confused that I agreed to help with the maths of this.

She worked for 12 hours and 45 minutes for this week. Her pay is $16.50 per hour. How much should she be receiving? Easy question???

You might be asking, is this even a problem? Any primary school kid (especially those from chinese school who are trained everyday with lots and lots of maths practice) would come out with an answer in at most few minutes. Well, I can do it in less than 5 seconds with a calculator!!

Her boss calculated and argued that she should be getting 12.45 x 16.50 !!!!!
Such a joke rite?

But Harvin was unsured whether her boss was right because the maths seemed convincing to her. See how you may be exploited outside without maths knowledge.

I just told her: Look at your watch, 1 hour has got 60 minutes, not 100 minutes

And guess what, she was enlightened.

In an effort to survive 5 units

2007-08-11T20:39:00.000+10:00

ACCG105
ACST 101
ECON 111
ACST 211
MATH133

OH MY GOD!!!!

These 5 subjects are gonna make my life like hell!!! Imagine going uni everyday from Monday to Friday with a very packed timetable. Plus, out of these 5 days 3 involve a 9.00am morning class, which means waking up as early as 7.30am is a necessity rather than an act of 'craziness' as in the case of last sem. My lecturers this sem are more serious (and therefore uninteresting) compared to the likes in ECON110, ACST 151, STAT171 last semester. They speak proper and gramatically flawless formal English during lectures, with all the slides that would make you feel inferior. Sigh....I hope I'll cope well.

By the way I was given a super casual research position by a local teacher who is a part time Macquarie Uni student. I'm allowed to work on articles at my own pace, meaning I can choose not to do them if I think there are better ways to spend my time. Hm....the best job in the world. But definitely I'll half my workload in September and stop it by October (to study for final exam in Novermber). I'm hoping that the first few good work has convinced him to keep me even if I choose to stop for some time before finals. Yeah, when I first spoke to him he said he'll pay me $60 for 6 articles, but after seeing my work he increased it to $70 per 6 articles.

I have so many assignments and tutes to work on this weekend. Oh, and I caught a little flu this morning; nevertheless I tried guggling with salt water and it worked and I'm feeling good right now. Lucky me.

Hello again!!

2007-08-10T22:20:00.001+10:00

It's been a while since I posted my last entry. Had been really lazy to come here these few days thanks to my hectic uni life. Uni has gained back all the momentum it ought to have during semester, and that means lectures, tutes and all sorts of assignments, quizzes have all started. Life.....

I'll write more tomorrow. Today's tiring and my brain just isn't working now. Can't think of interesting stuff to write now (although there isn't actually much interesting stuff to write, but I assure you i will find some to crap about tomorrow). Just watch out!

New semester new experience new resolution

2007-07-24T00:00:00.000+10:00

Today is 23rd July. I have exactly one more week to go before the next semester starts. You might be asking," Why thinking of it now when I still have one more week to go?". The reason being my brain's been rotting throughout the month of July for lazying around with only drama and online and shopping and exercising on my everyday to-do-list. I gave myself a true rest from all the stress, hastle, and commitments of a university student (in particular, an actuarial student).

Well, it is time to start tuning back my life. I can't leave it till 30rd July because I know one day is certainly insufficient to bring a spoiled soul back to a set of structured lifestyle with innumerable lectures, tutorials and tests. I need time, and what I'm planning is a one-week effort to start my brain working. My conversation with Joy did help me to realise this -- in fact--I 've got to thank her for complaining to me about the formidable amount of texts waiting for her to read. It reminds me, again, that holiday is indeed coming to the end.

There are things to be done:

1. I've set aside $100 to spend on clothing, socks and printer catridge. (what the heck, you may ask)

My clothing so far are all brought from Malaysia (with a few exception). To add some new element to my life in second semester I guess I should put on some local fashion. Yup, the way I dress is still pretty much the old Malaysian way of a T-shirt plus jeans. My printer catridge finished long time before my last sem final exam, and me being busy with uni work didn't bother to get a new one. It's alright now coz I just bought it today, at last.

2. I'm thankful for the confidence boost from my performance so far, and I wish to continue to cope well.

Second sem will be tougher than the first, definitely. At first I was planning to try working in-semester, and was really trying to get a job. But after the release of my result I gave a serious thought about this.

Why am I in Australia?? A quick answer is to get an Actuarial degree. With the amount of workload in 2nd sem I've got to choose between academic excellence and working experience. I figure I can't have both. When such is the situation my choice will certainly be the former -- that's why I'm here for. However I shall see how the semester actually goes, and am not 100% sure if I will stay with this notion.

3. I hope to be a better friend to everyone I know here. Our Malaysian cohort here consists of people from different pre-U college and some seemed not so 'ngam' with us Taylorians at first impression. But as time goes I start to see the good part of each of them and I should really get to know them better. We are all smart people, however I do hope the inherent kiasuness would hinder the opportunity to nurture true friendship.

An early call for myself -- BE PREPARED!!

OMG i can't believe my result

2007-07-17T00:05:00.000+10:00

How shall I describe how I feel now?? Happy or surprised? I guess it should be both. Happy because I get good results and will definitely hope to maintain it throughout my degree. Surprised because I can't believe that it is an HD even for MATH132 in which I know I did quite badly. Surprisingly it is 96 marks...How can that be? I left 2 questions unanswered!!!How can there be such a dramatic scalling? The two questions can easily cost be at least 15 marks. There is only one explanation for this -- Nobody or only very very few people could handle those two questions.

There is one thing here that I should bear in mind in the midst of all the excitement that fills my head now: I have set a standard for myself. Yes, this is me. I've always been setting standards for myself. In Sec School I set the standard to be a strong candidate for the prestigious JPA scholarship -- and through hard work, I did it. In SAM, I set the standard since the first day to be the top student of Taylor's College -- and through hard work, I did it. Now, I gave myself a great start by scoring 4 HD's for first sem, that's good, but not yet GREAT. What I need to do now is to maintain this standard throughout my degree. According to my seniors, HD 's in second, third and Honours years will be tougher than first year. I shall keep this in mind and not let this small success blurr myself from the real goal of securring a place in the Honours programme.

A good start in Australia gives me more confidence now. I can do it if I try!!!

I still remember screwing up my ACST151 first and second tests, but I put in the effort to correct my mistakes and did well for the finals.

Special thanks to:
Brian Chu, my ACST151 tutor/lecturer, for the guidance on insurance theories
Mr. Alex Blair, my ECON110 lecturer, for the encouragement and help with my LA progress
Mr. Craig MacMillan, ECON110 lecturer, for helping me during consultation with questions
Dr.Bon Clarke, my Math132 lecturer, for setting such tough assigment questions (and finals too)
Prof Xuan Duong, my Math132 lecturer, for being nice to us all.

Melbourne -- Phillip Island

2007-07-12T22:03:00.000+10:00

As promised, I'm here to write more about my Melbourne trip. I've just come to realise that staying here - in Macquarie - for almost half a year makes me start to think of my Unit 31, room 4, as my home. I feel warm and safe here (often with heater on nowadays), no matter how bad the weather is outside. Even that time when there was this 'most severe storm in 30 years' few months ago, I was outdoor, with my groceries when the storm hit Marsfield. I remember the courtesy bus didn't stop for me at the international office. I dragged my drenched self, with all the heavy stuff, to cross the road to the next bus stop, and was fortunate to still catch it. I didn't feel safe, until I reached my house. After bathing and having dinner, I realised that I've got to learn to call this home.

Ok Ok, enough of all these crap.

THE PHILLIP ISLAND

This is the second day trip we went. This time we had a whole bus of Malaysian (with 98% JPA scholars). Desmond joked that if something bad were to happen to this bus, Malaysian government will never ever send scholars here again. All of us were like, choi choi choi touch wood.

Prior to entering the island area we had an experience with taking what they called 'ancient train'. The train itself wasn't too thrilling but it was my funny friends who made it great fun!

It is us!!

Look at the way people sit.

This is at an animal park.

Kangaroos are cute. We get to feed them with our hands. EW!!!! The saliva was disgusting but still, they are wonderful creatures.

Ducks. They are everywhere in Macquarie but I seldom bother them. It's only when I was pon holiday that they managed to catch my eyes.

The laziest thing in the world -Koala bear. They sleep 20 hours a day.

I wanted to upload more pictures but the connection just didn't want to co-operate with me. Sigh, got to stop here for this time.