Few weeks left before meeting Aussie

Today is the last day of January 2007. Wow, time flies pass me like lightnings....

Heard from JPA that we are going to fly around 12th or 13th Feb. Am I anxious? I don't think there is any ground to deny that.... But I don't really think this would scare me off too much.

I am always proud to tell others, "Tis gonna my second experience overseas, I had one before, so this wouldn't make me feel really homesick." Hopefully I can keep my own words...

Frankly speaking, staying at home doing nothing for too long is gonna bore me sooner or later. The break is to sharpen my saw in order to take the next challege gracefully.

My only worry is, am I able to cope with an Actuarial Studies degree? There have been few people, at least, who told me that it is the toughest course they can ever imagine. First, my specialist math lecturer, Mr Lee, told me that my standard would probably make it a cruise (I hope so, teacher). The uncle who made my glasses indicated something like this (leaving my standard alone cos he has no idea 'bout that). " Wow, I think this would be quite challenging,"he said while fixing my new glasses. And during JPA briefing, a former JPA scholar told me, "You would realise like out of sudden, a class of 100 students would be left by 20 after the first semester..." That really scared me, I would admit.

Well, the choice has been made. There is no way to make a u-turn. Plus, it would be foolish to believe what others said without trying it out myself. If the degree is unattainable, why should it exist at all? The key point here is, am I confident that my level intelligence is sufficient to pass confortably with the degree? I hope the answers to these questions are a single "yes".

I heard that mommy's friend's daughter is doing actuarial in macquaire also. She only got TER 92 i think, but apparently she is doing fine with Actuarial Science. If she can do it, why can't I?

Football and me

I love watching soccer for a number of reasons. Don't you ever think that it is just a man's game. .. if you did, i hereby assure you that you are wrong and your perception ought to be changed.

You might be wondering how i pick up the habit of following closely every match I perceive as 'significant'... Well, just like any girl, I build up the passion for football from watching the biggest and most lucrative game played every four years -- the World Cup.

Many love the World Cup. I typically think it is very romantic and cool in that it is pure gold, shining like a star during all the finals I so far had followed. I would love to touch it one day, see how it feels. There are many who strive hard just to lift this trophey, many died with only dreams of the Cup, never had a chance to see it from close. Haiz, how could I ever gonna touch it? you foolish little las....

The first time I ever watched a football match was during the 1998 World Cup in ... Paris i guess.

France vs Brazil was the finals. I sided France that time, just to contradict my friend's prediction that Brazil would be Champion. In the end I was right! France scored 3 goals and Brazil scored none. That was the first time I felt the excitement offered by this great game of all time.

In that very first World Cup, the England squad attracted the most of my attention for reasons more than football skills. David Beckham was sent off for an on-field offense. Michael Owen scored a superb volley with Beckham earlier on to give the Argentinian big boys a shock. But England lost on penalty shoot-out in the end...



Michael Owen is cute! Isn't he? He is one of my favourites in soccer. He's fast, quick and versatile. But one bad thing is that he is injury-prone recently. Bad...

After the 1998 finals I started following the EPL. Love it since then.

Liverpool..... Tis my favourite team. I like Captain Gerrard very much. He's such a charismatic natural leader. Would prefer him to be the next England skipper after Beckham actually, but John Terry was appointed in the end. The Istanbul night was such a frenzy. That time I was in Singapore, sharing the excitement with many fellow Liverpool fan.

Then it is Chelsea... not my favourite but they have the best spirit in EPL. I like Frank Lampard. He is not so cute as Owen but he has got the most mesmerizing eyes in a soccer player. More so, he is the club's top midfield goalscorer. Like the way he kisses his engagement ring every time he scores. So sweet!

Then it is Arsenal ....Don't really like Hendry and his fellow non-English teammates. Not sure 'bout the reason....Perhaps I was just being ignored

by its 'military-sounding' team name. I just don't like the idea of Arsenal being crown English champion cos their first team comprises of mainly non-English players... But a youngster there is quite adorable I think....

Theo Walcott. Quite a bright star in Southamton, in-making star at Arsenal. Hope to see him playing more for Arsenal and England. His attitude is rather positive for a 17-year-old. Hehe, he's a year younger than me some more....Can't imagine how these kids handle the pressure of people's attention and being in the limelight.

You look at him.... He's a kid la. Would you believe that he is earning big big bucks enough to buy a car and apartment for himself? Spoilt youngsters...

I typically support the England squad all the time, but more often than not they let me down by their underperformance. Hence, in their times of low, I tend to avoid frustration by turning to other international teams.

Those whom I love: Portugal, Germany, Japan, Korea

Those whom I hate: Brazil !!!!!!!!!!! Hate their Sambal dance and ARROGANCE .

Having said this, I don't play football myself.... I don't watch women football (not than I'm sexist, it's just that the women's game lack the passion, excitement, ups and downs of the man's game)

But afterall, I play soccer in Fifa World Cup finals ................

I mean..... computer games. Haha.

Pain

Yesterday was a nightmare for me..... I was having my period and it HURTED me so much. I was reduced to a crying baby, really, in front of doctors and nurses. Mummy was worried for me and I went for a scanning. Even ate pain-killers. That teaches me a lesson, life is full of pain and sorrow.....so be prepared and be strong. I nearly fainted while carrying myself around, half-dragged by mummy.

Felt better in the evening after a short nap. Start to appreciate normalcy though.... No pain, no gain, that's too true.

Better be wary about health in Australia later on, hope that everything would be alright. Daddy advised me not to avoid seeking medical assistance coz JPA paid AUD900 for annual medical coverage every year.

Still feeling a bit week today, but it's much better now. Gonna see mrs sundram later on, hope to have a great evening with sau lee. She is a nice gal, a good fren of mine. Shall try to maintain this after going overseas. Friendship forever, may we?

The Art of Contentment

A wise man once said, life is more of misery than happiness. Is that true? Or is that just an isolated view from a pessimistic and inward-looking guy? The demise of the once hailed Malaysian genius Teoh See Beng recently convinces me of the prevalence of uncertainties in our daily life. He was a genius, an almost idol figure for many young schoolchildren 18 years ago. When I was 7, he was the kind pf person I envisaged as ‘successful’. But he died of mental illness after suffering from it for years since graduating from his doctorate programme. Is that fate? Only God knows.

I am always wondering what true happiness means. If triumphs and disasters are temporary, long-lasting happiness should come with a plain and simple life. We often see what others have, but ignore what we ourselves are having. That’s what I understand from my schoolteachers’ lectures, but sad to say, I seldom practise it. I see extraordinary beauty in others as blessing, and blame my plain appearance on sheer injustice from God, only to realize the folly upon seeing people born without arms and legs, or with faulty organs.

I complained for being sent to Macquaire University despite scoring the top score in Taylor’s College, forgetting the fact that I am too lucky compared to friends who are still waiting for the formidable STPM results, still unsure of their future path. Why should I complain when I still get a chance to go overseas? Yes I should have been given my first choice, but life is never as perfect as we wish. Plus, there isn’t adequate ground to feel too arrogant about my SACE 2 result. It’s JUST SAM, nothing compared to the degree programme I’m about to embark on. In retrospect, the ‘ups and downs in life’ that Mrs Quek reminded me is nothing but true. No grudge against her, in fact I got to thank her for adding colours to my Pre-University life.

No one knows what will happen tomorrow; no one could guarantee he or she can live through the next moment. Accidents happen everyday, lives parish at every second. In short, nothing should be taken for granted, nothing is for sure. In the face of this era of great hope, despair, uncertainties and joy, contentment is the key to eternal happiness.

Treating victories and failures just the same ...

I was overwhelmed for a while after knowing my excellent year 12 result. Of course that was all I wanted throughout the year; that was exactly my aim since the beginning of my SAM journey. I was a bit of overjoyed and to a great extent, surprised.

What came after knowing this was equally satisfying. I know my lecturers sayang me very much; more so after I 've got all the five A20s for them to show off. Praises, embraces and congratulatory words were bombarded at me. At that time, I struggled to keep my composure, trying very hard to keep calm and cool, as advocated in Buddhism:' taking every victory as a reward for your good deed, and every hindrance as a challenge to learn something new". Even in front of my dad I didn't show off, more so in front of my peers.

Everything was back to normal after the convocation. My celebration for excellent SACE2 result practically ended then. I realise that I couldn't be dwelling on past glory forever, and that I have to keep moving on, leaving all triumph behind to alleviate any potential pressure on myself. After Mrs Hoe gave me that final and hard embrace before I left college, I know that it's time to slowly reduce my level of self-praising and prepare for the next stage. Coming would be 4 years of hectic university life.

When I went back to sell books on 4th January, I didn't try to find lecturers anymore. I know that they too are moving on with their new batches of students. The same process I went through last year. After enjoying a whole year of full attention, it's time for my juniors to have their turn to improve themselves into another batch of brilliant SAM grads at the end of 2007. This was what I needed last year, and now it's their turn.

Yes, triumphs and disasters are indeed temporary. Those eternities are my own self-worth, self-esteem, confidence and experience which are invaluable, all picked up during my journey in the SAM programme. While juniors take our places as SAM students, we graduates should continue our journey into yet another unknown path --- university.

At the end of the day, winning and losing a game is not that important anymore. What we should place great emphasis on are the process and experience obtained in the game. These will stay with us forever, guiding us into achieving greater heights and protecting us from potential dangers. What Justina won over me two years ago is not important, neither is my victory over her in SACE 2. These are just accessories to a fruitful life. I'm moving on and so is she. Lets forget the past and think of our futures.

What 2007 might hold for me

My secondary school principal once said, the most important determinant of success is one's ability to foresee, foretell, predict, and most crucially, to alter or maintain it. There are some who only think of what themselves would be tomorrow; some can see themselves a year, 5 years, 10 years, or even 20 years coming.

I was very impressed by his speech in a beautiful morning of 2004, he was actually trying to remind us of the impending SPM examination (which I think I did fairly well, gua). That time he said we don't have to forecast our future in 5 or 10 years time, but just plan ahead for the SPM exam few months later.

To some extent I was moved, that's why I wrote all these nonsense here, ha.

I am not of the highest class, so I don't plan 5 or 10 years ahead. Having said this, I do try to at least plan for the year of 2007. My 2006 was a mix of tears and laughter, joy and sorrows. I did grow up, in many ways.

January of 2007 would be spent at Taiping, my home town. I would try to pass my driving test (have promised myself to try hard in the last two lessons). Then I have to attend a briefing by JPA, advising us on overseas procedures and other unknown stuffs. I got to always prepare my luggage to Australia.

February of 2007, would go to Sydney before Chinese New Year. That's nothing to me, I know how it feels when going through the same experience two years ago in S'pore. New Year? It's just another day (though I honestly prefer to spend it in Malaysia).

For the remaining time of 2007, I would be in Australia. This time I shall be hardworking, studious, at the same time enjoy my life as well. Not everyone gets to go overseas, neither is the time on foreign land for us lucky ones long. By the way it's only 4 years.

2007, let it be a happy year.