Thursday 31 July 2008

新学期又要开始了

漫长的假期终于要告一段落了,实在不敢相信六个星期这么一眨眼就过去了。哎,岁月不留人啊!一转眼又是一个新学期的开始,我的degree也都过了一半了,再撑一撑一个半年就毕业了。希望成绩好可以再读一年post-grad, 然后就真正要开始工作生涯。

很多人都这么说的,在大学的生活是最让人怀念的,而且这段时间的可贵总是在开始工作时才会体会到。也许吧!现在读书压力是有,但也算是除了课业压力之外无忧无虑。天天到健身房去 出一些汗,偶尔和朋友到外边去花一花钱,开心一下,或者打一打工赚些pocket money来买东买西。

Second year的课业的确是比第一年难了很多,上学期的表现老实说我是不太满意,好像态度上有了一点散漫,忽视了一些致命的小细节。这次万万不可小看精算部门的科目,这些都是些老奸圆滑的老教授掌柜的,他们巴不得把labour supply 减少,让professional actuary的工资保持现在的顶点。真够奸的,最多negative marking的就是这些人批改的科目了,最少(其实是没有)consultation hour 的也是这些教授,最会‘锄’其他部门的也是他们。哎。。。现在会批评他们啦,以后也不知道会不会自己也变成那种人。

不过说实在的啦, 在这里看人看多了,也觉得真正的好人很难得。尤其是处于社会高层的人,能够谦虚低调不看不起别人的,越来越少。目前在这个领域最看得顺眼的就是Professor Pollard 了。他是非非非常常常顶尖的精算师,很多我们读的theory 和model都是他想出来的,这种人简直是赚钱
'湿湿水’,不过看他还对学生很好很谦虚,不会看不起international students,又不会太执著于赚钱,会带老婆用一辆小如kancil的车子环游亚洲,而且是到那种被人视为落后如伊朗印度的地方。超佩服这种勇气!

其他的人呢? 有些就很自以为是看不起别的领域,有些就很看不起亚洲人,有些就很冷漠很不爱理会别人,有些就性情孤独不爱和别人打交道。。。。各种各样我都看过了,虽然只在这里一年半。
只能希望自己以后不要变样,厉害的人又怎样嘛? 还不是要吃饭拉屎对不对?

总之我这个新学期一定要努力,天天向上!!!
很久没有这种semangat的feel了,这是个好的开始。

Monday 28 July 2008

Notes on a Scandal

This is a blockbuster hit in 2006, a movie that explores an unusual theme, a movie without a clear protagonist. A good one I would say. One that provokes thoughts on the darker side of humanity. You may notice by now that most of the movies I talked about in this space are the ones of this type. Plots that have a hero going through thick and thin to achieve a noble cause never fail to inspire and motivate, but the ones that take evil on stage without stirring up my disgust are what I would call admirable.

It all began with my routine surf on msn news as I had my breakfast. I do this everyday, but today's reading on msn health section brings something to my attention. An article advising about what a man should be aware of if his wife (a teacher) is getting unusually close with her male students. Yeah yeah, another piece of good advice from experts that stresses on how important is communication between husband and wife to make a marriage work. The article makes a reference to the movie 'Notes of a Scandal' to warn the confused husband about the possible consequences of indifference. Well, the title caught my interest. I clicked on the link out of curiosity, and the rest is history.

The story is presented via a voice narrating from a diary of Babara Covett, a 60-something spinster who is numb from her 35 - year career as a teacher in a supposedly well-established school. Being a lesbian (it wasn't stated explicitly in the movie but this is the message I got), she was gratified by what she thought was an "unusual connection" with a new teacher Sheba Hart, who was married to a man 16 years her senior. This Sheba, who was rather bored with her role as a mother to two troublesome kids and a wife to a seemingly unattractive old man, was in a secret intimate relationship with her 15-year-old male student Steven Connolly. While Sheba took Babara as an ordinary friend, Babara assumed "ownership" over Sheba's "loyalty" (such a bitch!). One day Babara caught Sheba having sex with the young boy, and got exasperated over Sheba's "betrayal" (who you think you are to own her?). Babara promised to keep the secret provided that Sheba could stop the relationship with the underaged boy. Sheba agreed but she broke her promise because she was getting increasingly needy of the "young towel of testosterone" (such a lusty description in the movie). Babara reveales the secret to a colleague who was interested to "commit an adultery" with Sheba out of jealousy and a feeling of betrayal, while pretending to know nothing when Sheba was admonished and despised by her family and the society. Babara offered Sheba accommodation and "companionship" when Sheba was on bail shortly after her arrest. Sheba eventually found out about the real intention of Babara to befriend her, shouting hysterically that she was not interested in a lesbian relationship with the old woman and was baffled at how things turned out after a seemingly innocent invitation for Babara to attend her family lunch to thank her for her help to stop a school fighting. Sheba was sentenced to 10 months of jail and returned to her family after that (I assume so based on a scene). The old lesbian bought a new notebook to record diary entries on her next target, who was also a young pretty lady. Sheba was not her first, and certainly not her last.

What a family destroyer! What a selfish and syiok-sendiri spinster who assumes others' extension of friendship indicates romantic (lesbian) seduction . What a repressive lesbian predator who cries over betrayal from other people but is blind to her own possessive characteristics! She lives a lonely life without long-term friendship because of who she is. Padan-muka.

Judi Dench did a great acting to make me despise Babara so much. Great effort from Cate Blanchett who played Sheba as well. Just lovin' the way hatred, jealousy, revenge, sex hunger, repression, obsession are portrayed in this movie that I didn't expect to come across at all this morning.

Sunday 27 July 2008

Shall we fly???

Today is 27th July. Uni will start in about a week time from now. Yeah...good times will always come to an end (so will bad times actually, but this is not the point lol). I had better enjoy the last week of my winter break to the fullest so that I won't miss the 'holiday activities' aka drama series marathon when the new semester starts.

You probably guess it. Drama watching is what I've been doing for the past few days. Didn't start on drama series till the middle of July. I know all too well the addiction that comes with entering the world that doesn't belong to me, the joy and excitement upon following the life stories, the ups and downs of characters in the drama. Most of us like it, but we all know that it isn't the best thing to do when time is preciously scarce e.g. during an academic semester.

Ah Wai chatted with me while waiting for his pal before work. We talked about internship,again. Do we need interns experience? Absolutely beyond any doubt. But shall we get it? Can we get it?Where can we get it? How? These are the common questions that arise in a typical conversation about internship programme. As I told my other friend during an msn chat session, overseas students like us face a dilemma: We go back Malaysia at the end of the year to spend valuable time and catch up with our family members, is it wise then to work as an intern away from home (for those people like myself who don't stay close to KL)? We only see our parents, siblings and other relatives this time in a year, shall we spend so much of our time working instead?

I admit that I don't have an answer. The whole prospect of being an independent adult scares me. I remember being in kindergarten that day, playing rope games with my primary schoolmates that day, stressing out for SPM Biology exam that day, freaking out for SAM finals that day, and feeling like I just came to Australia that day, and just finished the last paper of first semester of 2008 that day. And now, my winter break is almost over. Time waits for no one. I feel that time moves even faster since I finished secondary school. Sometimes I can't really believe that it's been 4 years since I left school.

How much have I grown? I know a part of myself is still a kid. I still love to be dependent (sounds weird isn't it)? Or maybe I should put it another way: I like to be able to share my joy, sorrow, and life problems with family and friends, while keeping some little secrets to myself occasionally. I have to be an independent adult some day, that is for sure. But when should that day be? As Ray said before, people who rush through life will suffer later (that doesn't always come from a boy who is a year younger than me). My question is, how fast is growing up considered too fast?

Our wings were weak then, we couldn't fly. We are well taken care off by our parents. We are loved and shielded from the storms in the outside world. We complain about how boring it is to stay in the nest built for us, and how exciting it would be to be out there seeking for freedom, not knowing the harsh reality in a dog-eat-dog world.

Our wings are stronger now, but shall we fly? Or shall we stay a little longer in this cosy little nest?

Friday 25 July 2008

Another 4 months of fitness

I walked into the gym. A guy at the counter said hi.

“ My gym membership expired three days ago. I'm here to ask about the different options I have in extending my membership."

"Sure."

"I'm wondering is there any similar offer to the one early of the year where two students join together will get each of them one month free?"

"No, sorry."

"So that sort of thing only happens at the beginning of the year?”

"Yeah, it would probably be there again early next year, but right now it isn't."

Another lady came by.

"Are you a student?"

"Yeah."

"Trust me you students are paying $37.50 a month, that is ridiculously cheap. You guys are paying a third of what an adult member is paying. It's really a good rate you can't get it elsewhere."

"Alright. So I wish to extend it for another 4 months."

"Sure no problem. Can you fill in your name and sign here? Did your details change over this few months? No? Great"

(After keying in my details and scanning my card)

"150 dollars please. Thank you."

There you go. I commit myself to another 4 months of fitness. GO!GO!GO! I love gym!

To be honest I enjoy it. I love the classes. Fatburner sweats you out like no one's business and makes you feel as agile as a monkey. Revmaster makes your heart go 'thump, thump, thump' like it is going to jump out. Outdoor pool is freezing during winter but charming on a summer day. Indoor pool always feel like a spa with water of 27 degree celcius.

$37.50 a month? It's well worth it. But I'll still get another friend to sign up with me next year to get an even cheaper rate of $30 a month. Haha.

Sunday 20 July 2008

这里真的有那么好吗?

从上中学后不久就被灌输一种思想:留在马来西亚‘不好’。是的,很多大人,像补习老师拉,姑姑拉,邻居拉,都说我读书那么‘厉害’(自己并不觉得自己有多厉害,只不过是above average 而已),以后如果有机会到外国读书一定要想办法在国外‘落地生根’,因为留在马来西亚的话就没什么钱途。我必须承认,之前听已经是australian PR 的表姐们说起澳洲有多好多赞,曾经为自己因为有contract在身而没有机会申请PR(澳洲移民条规是不允许的)感到懊恼。

在这里读书数来也有一年半了,发现事实其实不像我想的那么完美。当然,如果在这里生活钱途应该是会不错,澳洲的minimum wage regulation确保人力的价值,就连casual 或part-time都有不错的工资,full-time 就更不用说了。难怪有好多人,像中国人、香港人、印度人、甚至马来西亚和新加坡人纷纷过来念书,然后申请PR居住这里。

可能是因为我们是sponsored student,不够了解在外国留学的真正费用(不只是我吧!有多少JPA scholars 知道自己每一年花政府多少钱?),我们对是否能够申请PR并不会觉得怎样,毕竟都是要回国服务嘛!说真的,“能不能申请PR我不怎么在呼”这句话要我在一些自费来留学的朋友面前说我可不敢,会被他们瞪眼。想当然耳,如果这大笔留学费用是父母的血汗钱我也会坚持在这里工作几年,通通把学费赚回来再打算。

最不喜欢应该是一些当地人的思想和生活习惯吧!直到现在其实我的生活圈子也只是围绕在‘自己人’(Malaysians or Singaporeans)的范围内,偶尔和一些中国人说说话。洋人嘛,我们真的是敬而远之。可以说90%的鬼佬心里非常看不起亚洲人,尤其是黄皮肤的,能和他们打交道的亚洲人,通常都是土生土长的ABC (Australian Born Chinese)。ABC是我最看不顺眼的一群人,因为很多ABC都自以为自己是鬼佬,看不起自己的族群,这点我在之前的posting就提过了。

如果在这里生活,我们的下一代也很有可能变成忘本,不懂自己文化,只懂英语的ABC是吧?洋人文化里的binge drinking(指酗酒),party, free sex (性开放)等都是与东方文化格格不入的。自己看到身边的一些人,住澳洲不久就接受了这些文化,不禁觉得心寒。哎,学好三年学坏三天这句话是一点都不错,不自爱的人堕落的速度真的好惊人。

这里毕竟是洋人的地盘,华人在这里永远都被视为第二等公民。

我住过三个国家:马来西亚(当然咯!)、新加坡、澳洲。最喜欢的是新加坡,我在那里虽然只住了短短的半年,但却打从心里地爱上那里。小小的岛屿,有的是西方国家如澳洲的先进硬体设施,东方国家如马来西亚的传统社会生活文化。当时我离开新加坡比离开马来西亚到澳洲来更难过,那里有最棒的治安,最温暖的人情,最平等的社会,最平均最有水准的教育系统。。。。哎,李光耀当时坚持要独立真的有他的,短短几十年搞到现在的新加坡把马来西亚抛得远远的,九泉下的老东姑心中也不知是什么滋味。

当然这不代表我不爱自己的祖国。马来西亚有我最美好的童年回忆,我血浓与水的家人、亲戚,最要好的朋友等等,这些都不是金钱的诱惑可以改变的,不管马来西亚是否存在着很‘出名’的种族不平等。世界上不可能有百分百的公平吧我想,澳洲也有明显的社会不平等啊!自从今年的大选,我看到的是逐渐成熟的选民,常被施压而尝试改善的政府,虽然晚了三十年但最终还是到来的教育改革(指英语教学),还有一个迈向democracy (民主制度)的社会。多数人不会单纯到相信老马哈迪的2020宏愿可以完全实现(这需要一个奇迹,一个标青的领袖,目前Barisan Nasional 里好像没有这样一个有潜质的人),但我相信至少现在的进展没有和宏愿背道而驰。

为什么我会写这些?三个原因:

一,我现在还在假期,有时间想这种东西;
二,有太多人谈起申请PR的事情;
三,最近几天看到了很多洋人或ABC瞧不起华人的活例子,有感而发。

Friday 18 July 2008

The fight against crime

The mundane way I spend my holiday does something good. It makes me think about things that I normally wouldn't give a damn; it makes me more aware of my surroundings, more sensitive to how people interact and get along with one another in a planet with limited source of luxury.

As I was on my way back from Macquarie Shopping Centre with lots of groceries for my survival for this coming week, I was struck by the question of why people commit crime. To be blunt, why do robbers rob and rapists rape? By the way I quoted these two examples because robberies and rape cases are the most common crime in Malaysia. Many would blame money and sex as the ultimate motivation. Well, true enough, but what makes money and sex so sought after?

Wealth promises access to luxury items, sex gives satisfaction. In the animals' world, food and sex move the entire ecosystem. Animals hunt and kill the weak. Animals mate when their hormones instruct them to do so. If we put aside our ego for being the species that undergo the most evolution (homo sapien we are), how much different is human being from other less evolved creatures?

We are different because we are guided by a set of non-natural rules called moral principles. We define what is right and what is wrong, based not on our natural instinct but the egalitarian wish to create a world of harmony, peace and fairness different from the world of beasts. Robbery is wrong because it is against the rule of ownership, which is obviously non-existent in the animals' world. Have you ever seen a stronger fox give in to a weaker fox who hunted down a rabbit? Even though the stronger fox did not do the hunting, by sheer force it gets to enjoy the result of others' labour. Robberies are motivated by the same urge to want things that do not belong to us.

Similarly, why do rape, incest, paedophilia happen? In the world of animal, the males will search for females during the mating season, and being guided by hormone they would have sex as a means for reproduction. Sex is natural and created by God to ensure the continuity of the species' survivalship. In the human's world, certain behaviours in the animal kingdom are unacceptable because they are defined as 'morally wrong'. Sex without consent is considered rape, sex with a family member is considered incest, sex with an underaged child is considered paedophilia. Are the aforementioned behaviours absent in the beast's world? No.

Crime happened as human relapse to animal's behaviour, that is, when human choose to follow their natural instinct (controlled by hormones) rather than the artificial moral principles. Animals act based on natural instincts, because they can't do more than that. There is no right or wrong, only survivalship matters. But we, the most evolved species, care more than survival. We want everyone to follow a certain code of conduct to ensure peace and equity. Our brains have developed to the extent that we care about the greater good of the entire human race, not just our individual gratification. And to achieve this, we enact law to impose punishment on its infringement, as an incentive for ourselves to go against our natural (perhaps beasty) instincts.

Criminal activities are proofs to the incomplete evolution of human being. We are still evolving for the better, moving towards the eventual ideality that promises a world where everyone will live peacefully and happily together, where no one will starve and suffer, where everyone acts according to his/her will as long as it is not against the law. The war against crime is the war against ourselves - our own tendency to act like animals for which rules and regulations do not prevail.

Tuesday 15 July 2008

The time of the year when laziness is perfectly acceptable

I was starving after my gym session. Blame myself for not eating enough for lunch (only had turkey steak). My two slices of french toast tasted like HEAVEN. No exaggeration.

The coldest time of winter is over. Mornings no longer make me shiver, nights no longer require layering up. My heater is officially having its much-needed rest. Even the man who came to fix my shower this afternoon complained about the heat and wondered why I could stay at home when the sunshine outdoor was so beautiful. Well, I'm a Malaysian you know. We have sunshine all the time. I don't appreciate sunshine as much as the Aussies do.

Half a month to go till my next semester starts. I'm just gonna enjoy the rest of my holiday to the fullest. My internet is speed-limited earlier than I expected, which reminds me how big a part that internet plays in my life here. Now I can't watch videos on Youtube until my next billing date. How terrible is that.

I shall see what else I can do without Youtube. Drama series in my hard disk? Newspaper? Going out? Or working?

你还记得吗

你还记得吗
当时站在起跑点上
望着茫茫前路的感觉

你还记得吗
当时恐惧的心
在无助地挣扎
不懂得面对选择的你
在迟疑,在懵懂

一段旅程
最艰难的是起跑
因为它需要最大的勇气
最美丽的是路旁的风景
这比到达目的地
更能被记忆收留

每个踏上旅程的人
都希望前面的路平坦、康庄
但路一直就是坎坷的
最终到达目的地的人
不是不曾跌倒
而是懂得在每次跌倒后
咬紧牙根,忍住泪水
爬起来的人

回头看这一路走来
多少辛酸欢笑同时凝聚心头
你也许会问
踏上这段路是否值得
但每一次答案都像晨雾里的花朵
似有似无
你也只好走下去

休息是为了走更远的路
待收拾心情
我们向背后的一切道别
再次为理想,为梦

重新出发


* 在此鼓励自己,也鼓励大家,遇到挫折时不要放弃。

Friday 11 July 2008

The beast side of human

What separates human from the other animals is simply the sense of morality. We define what is right and what is wrong, what is acceptable and what is not. And we make ourselves obligated to heed it. Beast don't. They act according to natural instinct. They are controlled by desire, by their hormone. Hence there is no right or wrong. Whoever is strong will reign and whoever is weak will be destroyed.

Unfortunately, moral principles don't make trespasses less attractive. In fact, it does the opposite. What is forbidden always tastes good, there goes the saying.

I'm saying these because I just watched a new MV of a new singer: 林宥嘉 (Yoga Lin) - 眼色 (The colour of your eyes). For once I couldn't judge if it is a good MV (in the past I could always conclude if an MV is good). It has excellent shooting, the lyrics matches the storyline perfectly, Yoga's singing is great.

But, the MV touches the grey area of human morality. It shows explicitly free sexual behaviour, both homosexual and otherwise. Some people would probably say that my thoughts are too traditional, that in this modern era no one cares about whether you have pre-marital or extramarital sex. Still, Yoga is the champion in the singing competition 星光大道 (first season). In other words, he is an idol to many, mostly people in their teens. Despite being banned on TV, the MV scores a major hit on Youtube, thus it shows that many (young) people have already viewed it.

The way the MV is directed portrays what I would put as the beast side of human, one that is controlled solely by hormone. It makes no reference to love, only lust. Sex is downgraded to an act of pure satisfaction of desire without responsibility.

It may not be Yoga's idea to shoot this MV. If this is the case, then it must be the company with whom he signed a six-year contract. One could argue that this form of sexually explicit MV is in commonplace elsewhere, especially in western countries, but does this make it right, at least in an Asian country?

The company has so obviously cashed in on the primitive but suppressed desire to the forbidden fruit of human nature. To be fair I shall also give credit to the good singing, but I feel that the theme of the MV is what makes it so popular among teenagers.

As much as I like Yoga as a singer, I disgust the way his song is commercialised.

无厘头诗

轻轻呼吸
步入黑暗的笼罩
寻找那熟悉冰冷的影子

头突然响起震撼的音乐
旅程正式开始
我冲,我放
我竭尽所能

王的降临
埋没不了心中的热血
残酷的疲惫
消灭不了坚定的意志

在空中
呼喊着:“放弃吧!”
尖叫着:“离开吧!”
而我
却蛮横地往前冲
不顾死活

独地抗衡
对周遭视而不见
只望着
遥远的灯
还有那股打气的声音

走着
呻吟着
却还要撑
撑到另一个山顶


人叹
脚步没停过
生怕迷失了自己
消磨了斗志

Com'on give it all
Leaving nothing
And you own the world, yourself
Sweating like a shower
Slowing down, and you breathe success.


后记:试着直读每段第一个字,最后一段的每个开头字母,就是主题。

Wednesday 9 July 2008

The continuum of time and space

If you follow the famous TV series "Heroes" you should be familiar with phrases (by Mohinder Suresh) sounding like 'Man should fulfill his destiny'. Are we all DESTINED to do something from the outset? Is our destiny in our own hands like what many of us would like to believe? The underlying assumption in the series is that time moves, events occur, in ways that are 'planned out' by some divine forces (God?), and those 'plan' can be predicted by people with extraordinary ability to foresee the future like Isaac Mendes. Little did we know, such ability to predict the future are alleged to exist (I only know this recently).

Boredom forces me to keep looking out for something unfamiliar, something unbelievable. As I was browsing through youtube in a quest for more Taiwanese entertainment show I bumped upon this intriguing video - "The greatest prediction of mankind" (translation, it is a chinese clip). So I couldn't resist the temptation and thus watched that clip, followed by more videos listed as related to the first one. Then I googled for more information about how some extraordinary people could predict the future with great accuracy on details and read the book written by Huang Yi (黄易) titled "Predictions that stun the world" (惊世大预言).

The whole idea begins with this french guy Nostradamus who lived in the mid 16th century. He wrote the book titled “The Centuries" which contains poems that describe the future. As spooky as it sounds, the alleged interpretation of the 'poem' written by him depicts with high accuracy many important events that happened decades or even centuries after his death.

Some chilling examples:

1. September 11 attack

In the City of God there will be a great thunder,
Two brothers torn apart by Chaos,
while the fortress endures,
the great leader will succumb,
The third big war will begin when the big city is burning

City of God = New York
Two brothers = Twin tower
Fortress = The Pentagon
Great leader = President of United States
Third big war = Iraq war

2. Japanese attack on Pearl Harbour (couldn't find an English translation)

那属於太阳的人不能安全渡海
威尼斯的人掌握整个非洲
上星再占据了国上
亚洲会改变

太阳人=Japanese
威尼斯人=Italian

The Pearl Harbour attack marked the beginning of World War II. Japanese proceeded to take control of many Asian nations while Italians intruded many African countries. The Japanese and Italian were allies during WW2.

3. Death of Henry II (quoted from the analysis of experts)

The young lion will overcome the older one,
On the field of combat in a single battle;
He will pierce his eyes through a golden cage,
Two wounds made one, then he dies a cruel death.

(Century 1, Quatrain 35)

In June 1559, Henry II ignored all warnings that Nostradamus gave him and participated in a jousting tournament against the Comte de Montgomery. Both men used shields embossed with lions. Montgomery was six years younger than Henry.

During the final bout of fighting in the tournament, Montgomery failed to lower his lance in time. It shattered, sending a large splinter through the king’s gilded visor (golden cage). The result was two moral wounds (two wounds made one and then he will die a cruel death.) One splinter spliced eye; the other impaled his temple just behind the eye. Both splinters from the lance penetrated his brain. Henry lived for ten days in agony, thus fulfilling the Nostradamus prophecy that he would die a cruel death.

So, is the continuum of time and space fixed? Or is it alterable by you and I? Are we doing what we are doing, being the person we are, being in a place at a certain time, because this is how it is supposed to be?

So this is winter in Sydney

I missed the coldest period of Sydney winter last year. I was on a trip to Melbourne, complaining how the wet, cold and eratic Melbourne weather annoyed me and how I adore the relatively warm Sydney during winter. Putting aside the possibility of abnormal weather patterns, I was wrong to give too much credit to Sydney lol. It's approaching mid-July now, the coldest time of winter, and you should look at the way I shiver every morning trying super hard to drag myself off my cosy quilt. My heater is nearly always on, the only time it gets a rest is when I go to bed (coz I'm such a good resident that I follow the advice of MUV to switch off the heater at night, apparently this is good for my health and it saves electricity as well).

But, I still like winter, as long as I'm indoor. Weird huh? One of the most enjoyable thing to do is to sit on my bed, covering myself with quilt, watching and laughing at whatever drama or video clip my laptop is playing. Idle lifestyle you may say. Hey, we need a good rest and relaxation after every semester of toiling and striving. Winter is so much better than summer, when many people will set out for sun-bathing, partying etc while I on my fan on highest speed, sweating and cursing the hot weather. Joy is so right on saying that " we can always layer up when it is cold but we can't possibly strip naked when it is hot".

I still insist on going to gym everyday, despite the weather making it harder for me. It's always windy and sometimes, rainy, outside. While I was typing this post the wind was ROARING like it was about to eat everyone outside up. Trees were shaking like it was their clubbing session. All these make you feel like staying at home, watching from afar how minuscule human are when Mother Nature shows her wrath.

Sunday 6 July 2008

在平凡的日子里寻找不平凡的感触

是的,我这个假期是从我到澳洲以来最乏闷的。因为油价上涨加上很多朋友都回梦乡去当少爷千金,吃喝玩乐,所以我除了看戏看书运动就没干什么也没去那里了。现在回家一趟最少也需澳币千多元(马币三千多),而且还须转机三次,显然我housemates 他们是真的很想家才肯花钱回去。哎。。。他们跑光日子就更闷了。本来大家讲好要去snowy mountain 滑雪,却突然间那么多人想飞回去,剩下也都觉得没趣,结果滑雪之行就这样胎死腹中。

近来因不想看连续剧(故事情节我是预测得越来越准)而转看综艺节目。通常综艺节目都是些无聊的搞笑等等,目的就是让观众打发时间的,但我很意外地在《星光大道》里听到一些相当有道理的东西。讲出来我爸爸一定不相信,因为上一辈的人都觉得台湾综艺节目都是“扮傻瓜来博人一笑的傻戏”。

有个叫林鸿明的rocker 型歌手到星光舞台去挑战两万台币的奖金,结果唱出来的评审因不认同而给了很低的分数。林说:“要让全世界的人喜欢你是不可能的,你能做的就是做好自己,让在乎你,爱你的人喜欢你,让自己不讨厌自己就可以了。”看不出他那副傻里傻气的样子竟然在自己表现欠佳时说出这样个豁达的话,赞。看过一些朋友常常为了别人的闲言闲语而难过,自己有时也会很在意别人的眼光。哎,通常生气的原因都是别人无意的话我们却有意地接受,让自己受没有必要的心灵折磨,何必呢?

还有一句陶晶莹说的也是很对 - 有时在生活中不要抱有太大的得失心,失败每个人都会有的,成功的人不是没遇过失败,而是懂得从失败中走出来,变得更强的人。她说这句话是在安慰被淘汰的选手,不过这也是像我们这种追求事业理想的人时常忘记的部分。我中五的华文老师在我们班刊留下类似这样的话:" 我不知道在你们身边的同学到底是‘战友’还是‘朋友’,觉得你们太在乎学业的结果而忽略了过程。考得比别人好不好真的那么重要吗? 或许SPM 过后一切会变得不一样,但希望你们能珍惜同在一个屋檐下的日子。”(哈哈,我的记忆力有没有把你吓倒?没有啦这不是exact sentence,秩序也不一定是这样,不过黄老师确实有写过这种话。)总之和陶子说的有异曲同工之妙,都是叫你我不要太过计较人生的成败得失而迷失自己。

在同一集有一个缩影也是很有意思。有个叫曾静纹的很有歌唱天分,前两次干掉高手而一炮而红,这次却因为压力太大而表现失常,在台上崩溃。她说她现在红了很不开心,开始时很想引起大家瞩目,现在得到了却发现自己根本不能负荷。她才十五岁叻,就要承受这种压力,很可怜啊老实说。在学术界这种压力也是会害死人,马上我就想到得了忧郁症去世的神童张世明、我那位承受不了scholarship holder 所面对的压力而郁郁寡欢的学姐、我在新加坡听过的那位荣获牛津大学奖学金但后来承受不了考试不理想而自杀的学长 。。。。真的,一个人很需要懂得自己安慰自己,在学习怎么成功的同时我们也应学习怎么面对失败。

后记: 很多朋友说我写blog是渐渐走感性路线了,我承认啦。之前都写些生活琐碎事很无聊,就想在假期写不一样的,希望我不会太肉麻哈哈。很谢谢那些读我blog的朋友,抱歉又花了您宝贵的时间(鞠躬)。

Saturday 5 July 2008

The epitome of the 'YES SIR' attitude

There is no doubt that:

Dr Mahathir is a great leader.
He is the best Malaysian Prime Minister in history.
He successfully saved the country from slumping into a depression during the 1997 Asian Financial Crisis.
He is formidable even to Americans.
He speaks openly and bravely on global issues without fear.

And recently, he joined the group of bloggers, and is writing regularly on chedet.com. Good (but not always neutral) articles. Fluent English, unlike most of the Malaysian so-called leaders who can only speak like you, I, alright, don't know (some of them don't understand that the singular equivalent is doesn't know, as they use don't all the time). He is great but he is still a human.

If your curiosity is built up at this point thus you decide to go to his blog to have a look, go ahead by all means. But if you also wish to read the comments below the articles, I would suggest that you are better-off spending your time digging your nose. Why? Because I can tell you 95% ( a conservative figure) of what his blog readers say here in just a few sentences. So you save time reading them here rather than having to scroll down and read each of them on chedet.com lol.

Apa yang tun cakap tu memang betul/benar!
Kenapa Pak Lah tidak secekap/sebijak Tun?
Your ideas are brilliant/excellent Tun
You are always the best/my idol Tun
Thank you for letting Malaysians know the truth behind the issue (since when does a politician speak truth???)
Semoga Tun sihat and hidup lama/long live Tun
Bravo Tun, you speak our heart

Fine, I have no qualms on wishing him good health. I hope he lives long as well.

But look at the other comments. Why can't they talk about something else other than YES SIR YOU ARE SO RIGHT all the time? Why can't they think rationally about the issues that Dr M come out with and discuss it in a mature way? Are Malaysian readers dumb or is it because people who can think couldn't bother or are afraid to let their voices be heard? I believe that it is the latter.

Freedom of speech. This is essentially what separates us from the developed world. Just look at the commentary and public opinion on msn, bbc, TIME just to name a few foreign media. The comments made by readers are so much more mature, showing to the world that the people there understand what is going on in this world.

Chedet.com is probably the most unrestricted media in Malaysia at the moment. Just look at what's written on New Straits Times and The Star. There is some improvement since the last General Election but there is still much to be done before Malaysian mass media can declare itself as being politically neutral.

Before that happens, digging your nose is probably a better alternative.

Friday 4 July 2008

So this movie is back-breaking

Finally I decided to give the movie 'Brokeback Mountain' a go. Borrowed the DVD from Macquarie Uni Library last week but it's only today that I made up my mind to watch it. It was a blockbuster hit when it was released, and its director Ang Lee was awarded the BEST DIRECTOR in that very year.

He probably deserves it I would say. However, the whole thing about gay relationship did...erm...churn up my stomach. Tell you what, I even felt like throwing out my lunch upon seeing the first erotic scene in the movie. Yes, it is EROTIC. I was a bit like eewww...why on earth would anyone think of using homosexuality as the theme.

But to be honest aside from the theme the entire production deserves nothing less than the three academy award that it obtained. Still ... (deep breath)...it's a new experience for myself to see two boys hugging, kissing each other, sleeping together etc.

How I pity their wives. Please lah boys out there,if you know that you're a gay don't ever get married because your wife and children will suffer (*wink). The whole big time when the movie was played on my laptop I felt that my back was aching (it's really back-breaking, huh?) as I really felt for the gay men's wives. Why should they suffer from their husbands' sexual orientation? I agree fully with Ennis del Mar (one of the gay guys) that 'his wife is innocent'. But so is Ennis and Jack Twist (another gay guy). Is homosexuality meant to be natural? By the way the front cover of the booklet that comes together with the DVD reads 'LOVE IS A FORCE OF NATURE'. If it is natural why is the society despising, condemning, and criminalising (at least in some part of the world) homosexuality? Are these people sick or just different?

These are hard, if not impossible, to answer. It shudders me to imagine the possible consequences of legalising unisex marriage as it might lead to people demanding for bestiality (having sex with animals, eewwww!!!) or incest (in Malay this is called sumbang mahram) and other so-called 'abnormal sexual behaviour' to be made legal as well.

Ok I shall not write more as this is grossing me to ... no I shall refrain from using those you-know-what language that is all too common in Australia. Guess I can't agree more with what Joy said about Brokeback, that 'it discusses a mature topic'. No we can't say that it is a sick show. That would be too biased. So calling it a mature adult movie is probably the right way. Just like how Australians term shops that sell pornographic/erotic books as ADULT BOOKSHOPS lol.

Thursday 3 July 2008

我最看不起忘本的人

昨天吃晚饭时和housemate没事闲聊,渐渐谈到Victor工作的同事。一个中国来的女生,不知是崇洋么,还是想要练australian accent么,已经不知多少年没用中文(马来西亚人所谓的‘华语’)了,而且倘若别人以中文开口和她说话她还会不高兴。Victor 说这时我就觉得这女生‘似曾相识,想了一会我记起来了,就是去年我去参加一个international student forum group 的时候,主持人说的那位被他捧为天仙的女生。

女生承认自己已经三四年完全以英语作为沟通语言了,就连和她父母也是用英语说话。当时我们在场的都觉得不可思议,怎么可能连家人都不放过嘛!主持人赞她的英语水平,她一定是洋洋得意,笑得好开心的。但我和几位在场的都很看不惯,坐我旁边在UNSW 念书的香港男生也偷偷跟我说这个人有点讨厌,怎么可以瞧不起自己的母语嘛。像她这样的人我遇到不少了,我们有时也和中国人谈话,一开口就说中文是为了尊重他们,但是有些怪胎却觉得你是在瞧不起他们的英语水平而不说英语。莫名其妙的心态!

这种就是我们所谓的忘本。我不反对崇洋心态,毕竟人还是要向现实低头的,现在英语在国际舞台还是举足轻重,想要飞黄腾达的人一定要学好,但也不至于鄙视自己的文化,语言吧! 在澳洲读书已经一年多,这种事情真的是看多了。我去年的马来housemate也是这种样子,对洋人可以说是毕恭毕敬,对我们malaysian的态度简直就差天跟地。她和自己国家的人说话不知怎么一复装起澳洲口音,说得不伦不类,好像自己已经是鬼佬了,听了说实话觉得很恶心。

朋友说过,她有一天想吃海南鸡饭,就特地到一间马来西亚人开的饭店,叫饭时发现自己忘了带malaysian student association 的会员折扣卡,自认倒霉,但因为很想吃鸡饭还是叫了。结果过了很久饭才送来,而且还是老板娘送来的。她自己以为老板娘亲自出马是好事,结果老板娘冲着她用带有鄙视的口气很大声说虽然是malaysian,没带卡的一律不折扣。过了不久一个胖胖的鬼佬进来了,老板娘一鞠躬问道:“How can I help you, sir?"

天啊,这偏差也太大了吧?这些人不只是崇洋,还瞧不起自己的同胞,不是鬼以为自己是鬼。他们怎么不明白,这样做鬼佬也不会把他们当鬼看,却搞到亚洲人的厌恶,两头都不到岸,且迷失了自己原本的根。