Saturday 6 January 2007

Treating victories and failures just the same ...

I was overwhelmed for a while after knowing my excellent year 12 result. Of course that was all I wanted throughout the year; that was exactly my aim since the beginning of my SAM journey. I was a bit of overjoyed and to a great extent, surprised.

What came after knowing this was equally satisfying. I know my lecturers sayang me very much; more so after I 've got all the five A20s for them to show off. Praises, embraces and congratulatory words were bombarded at me. At that time, I struggled to keep my composure, trying very hard to keep calm and cool, as advocated in Buddhism:' taking every victory as a reward for your good deed, and every hindrance as a challenge to learn something new". Even in front of my dad I didn't show off, more so in front of my peers.

Everything was back to normal after the convocation. My celebration for excellent SACE2 result practically ended then. I realise that I couldn't be dwelling on past glory forever, and that I have to keep moving on, leaving all triumph behind to alleviate any potential pressure on myself. After Mrs Hoe gave me that final and hard embrace before I left college, I know that it's time to slowly reduce my level of self-praising and prepare for the next stage. Coming would be 4 years of hectic university life.

When I went back to sell books on 4th January, I didn't try to find lecturers anymore. I know that they too are moving on with their new batches of students. The same process I went through last year. After enjoying a whole year of full attention, it's time for my juniors to have their turn to improve themselves into another batch of brilliant SAM grads at the end of 2007. This was what I needed last year, and now it's their turn.

Yes, triumphs and disasters are indeed temporary. Those eternities are my own self-worth, self-esteem, confidence and experience which are invaluable, all picked up during my journey in the SAM programme. While juniors take our places as SAM students, we graduates should continue our journey into yet another unknown path --- university.

At the end of the day, winning and losing a game is not that important anymore. What we should place great emphasis on are the process and experience obtained in the game. These will stay with us forever, guiding us into achieving greater heights and protecting us from potential dangers. What Justina won over me two years ago is not important, neither is my victory over her in SACE 2. These are just accessories to a fruitful life. I'm moving on and so is she. Lets forget the past and think of our futures.

2 comments:

she said...

you always brag about your success in sucha funny way...
"Praises, embraces and congratulatory words were bombarded at me. At that time, I struggled to keep my composure, trying very hard to keep calm and cool, as advocated in Buddhism:"

really laugh a lot reading your blog...nice entry.

we are all proud of you for your success=)

Xin Yin said...

thank you terine.... good luck to u too