Tuesday, 23 December 2008
I'll do with a little update (boss is not around)
I realise how much I've settled in this new environment of working with people who are constantly rushing to finish their job. Investment banking ppl are all like that, so said my mentor. They work like dogs (not in a negative way, just means they work like crazy).
Assistant director in my department asked me during lunch what specialisation I'm looking at for my actuarial degree, and I couldn't give a specific answer. To be honest I don't have a clear idea yet. What I know is I'm liking my course much, though occasionally I still grumble about how much work, tests and exams we face each and every semester.
Never really believe that student life is way more stress-free as compared to working routine in a big city, until recently I am starting to re-consider the truthfullness of the statement.
Yesterday Tho Kin (my buddy aka mentor) asked me to help with a spreadsheet, which proves to be the most annoying spreadsheet I had seen so far in my life! Guess it's coz I'm not the person who developed it and thus unclear with how all the links work in the spreadsheet,.a simple task of aggregating the monthly totals make me feel like ripping off the computer screen. I duno why every time I tried to insert a column in seemingly unrelated parts some numbers in other places change. Very pek-cek I tell you. And yet this is probably miniscule as compared to the stress level they are facing everyday.
Being intern is fun in that you're shielded from the 'harsh reality' of the level of stress and workload you will be exposed to in real enployment. What I do are just bits and pieces of a much larger project, while my poor colleagues have to put up with never-ending pressure from their superiors.
They told me their work are never finished, they stayed back in the office to as late as 5am (note, it's am), they sleep every working night without having dinner, they rarely have enough sleep ("sleeping is a luxury", so said), they have to face mountains and mountains of work each day, and never know when their superiors will pop up and ask: "Have you finished xxx that I gave you that day?".
I asked them don't they want a life. They told me to work in investment banking is to marry to your work, and you should only enter a job if you feel you could stand it without going crazy. So true.
Wednesday, 17 December 2008
Been busy with work
1. CIMB landslide happened on just my forth day at work. We are forced to move into a new location in PJ state, which is not too bad a location as an LRT station is just nearby :) However, we will be packing and moving back n christmas eve. (darn, why not we just stay on?)
2. Internship is really.....a great way to pass my holiday (Seriously?) .Yes, it's far better than fooling around and do nuts.
3. I really need to go back to work. My philosophy is : TO FINISH EVERYTHING AS FAST AS I COULD, AND SAU DONG AT 530pm SHARP. LOL
Monday, 1 December 2008
Special Situation Investment?? How special
Uncle suggested that we leave early to avoid the congestion around Damansara, so I agreed to it.
We reached CIMB at 7.15am when Angeline actually asked me to report only at 8.30am. But good thing is we managed to find our way to the library of the CIMB knowledge and training centre. At least a place to sit down and read while waiting for the minutes to pass.
Skipping through the details of filling in forms, listenin to the welcome notes etc...
Apparently I am in for a special internship programme called "structural internship" where I am paired with a mentor for this two month programme. He's a nice person.
So I followed him to the department I am posted: SPECIAL SITUATIONS INVESTMENT at CIMB Investment Bank. What a name!
A natural question is : What on earth are SPECIAL SITUATIONS?
Apparently it works just like a unit-trust but at a much larger scale. Each investor contributes millions of money and the bank will do the investment part of it. Investments are usually on equities, where the largest returns usually come from. 20% p.a is the bare minumum that would attract the bank's interest. He said it is common in the industry to see returns on equity of at least (usually larger) 20% and I went like "WOW!". That just proves how unrealistic the numbers used in ACCG253.
This department deals with the cases where companies can't obtain funds elsewhere (from bank loans), mainly due to high leverage, lack of bank confidence on new products/ideas or industry etc. Essentially they have no access to debt-financing which is a much cheaper option with returns approx 6-8% pa. When that is the case these desperate companies will turn to equity-financing, more precisely equity financing from big institutions like CIMB to help raise investor's confidence.
There are much research work to be done due to the risky nature of these ventures. I have a stack of research work on my hand now that i believe is not the thickest my mentor has ever done. Page after page are descriptions of immense details on how the palm oil industry is performing worldwide and in Malaysia. The information is overwelming and it shows how careful the bank is at selecting the investment it is going to invest big bucks. Knowingly, it is a matter of millionssssss.
I guess the whole idea is to invest when the company's share is undervalued and sell it, say, 5 years later when the share price adjusts to where it should be (the bank obviously believe that it would be much higher), and expect to get at least 20% return.
Basically, I think I will get a glimse on a highly competitive investment market along the way of this programme. So far I like it.
Friday, 14 November 2008
爲什麽你那麽傻?
她父親說是過不了情関。
你有沒有想過這樣做對愛你的家人、朋友、歌迷所帶來的傷痛阿?朋友歌迷可能過一陣子就淡忘了,但是疼愛你的家人這一輩子都不可能忘記,這種痛是一輩子的你懂嗎?
惋惜你的走的同時我也覺得你當時的念頭好自私,我明白你想要擺脫情傷,但你就捨得爲了自己而讓愛你的家人扛這一輩子的傷痛嗎?
你知道嗎?這個世界有很多很多比你不幸的人,爲了生存下去勇敢地與死神拼搏,癌症病患,等待肝臟的病人,窮困地帶爲了尋找一口飯的人,戰亂地區尋找一個棲身地的人etc etc.....好多人爲了一個簡單的“存活”展現了堅強的意志、生命力,就連動物也爲了生存在垂死邊緣頑強地拼搏。
他們多想擁有你所擁有的百分之一,而你卻選擇放棄自己,放棄家人,放棄朋友歌迷。
我真的為你的死感到難過,雖然你根本不認識我。
不知道現在的你有沒有在後悔自己當時的決定,但我還是誠心希望你安息,黃泉路上好走。
給所有的人共勉之:請珍惜自己的生命,為您親愛的人着想。
Sunday, 19 October 2008
Thursday, 2 October 2008
STUPID HOT WEATHER!!!!!
And I was cursing the sun, the hot dry summerish weather even after I indulged myself with two fresh eggtarts. Luckily I managed to find a seat at a shady spot. Two ABC little girls sat beside me (I presume they are waiting for their parents who were busy shopping) each holding a box of DEEP-FRIED chicken nuggets and a big packet of HOT CHIPS. I was thinking like, " Wow you two puny chicks can really finish that much FATTENING FOOD ar? Sure boh, don't tell me those are your lunch. " While they were munching on those deep-fried fastfood they had a reasonably loud conversation with English curses that I previously wouldn't imagine coming out from two young girls of primary school age. See what westernisation can do.
If you're wondering I AM STILL SUFFERING from the HEAT right now. Super tulan-ed, why can't I have air-con in my room??? My fan on maximum speed is doing little help. Today's return bus trip from Eastwood was one of the most enjoyable because the air-conditioner worked well.
The locals will think otherwise, but no doubt summer is my least favourite season in Australia. So strange.
Thursday, 25 September 2008
Random thoughts
I had joined the Macquarie Uni Global Leadership Programme,at the spur of the moment together with my three other housemates. As a result, we are required to attend 10, yes 10, colloquium (or workshops I would say), each lasts 3 hours! Simple math tells you that the total is 30 hours! There you go, you just saw one more reason that stops me from writing too often here. I've registered for 3 this semester and that means a good 9 hours would be spent in the boring, poorly-ventilated W5C 335 (yea, it was poorly-ventilated yesterday during the first half). We sendiri cari pasal (We asked for it), you may think. Oh well, guess we're all just being kiasu. LOL
Chatted with my younger sister that day on MSN. Can you believe that it's only September and she has already finished with her UPSR exam and is lazying around at home, and she even picked up on MSN at the age of 12! God knows how old I was when I first used ICQ chatroom and subsequently MSN. See how technology-savvyGeneration Z is as compared to Generation Y. Well, officially me and my brother are Generation Y while my sis is Generation Z, according to official definition I read from Sydney Morning Herald sometime ago.
My sis was telling me her tuition teacher is recently diagnosed with a tumour in her uterus. I was like, Oh my God this is so scarry. We all know how common cancer is in today's over-pampered world. We eat all sorts of rubbish food and as a result our health deteriorates. I know that teacher is quite a nice person from my bro and sis who are taught by her. Fingers crossed, I hope she stays strong and put through the hardship and emerged as a survivor at the end.
A gentle reminder is struct. Life is so uncertain that you wouldn't know what's gonna happen next. I can still vividly remember the incidence last year where Nian Ning, one fellow JPA scholar, passed away in an accident. I remember how my housemates told me about the friendship they had with her and how sad they felt after her passing. Always count yourself lucky for being still alive and cherish every single day that you have,no matter the hurdles you're facing in life you are still luckier than alot more people in this world.
Saturday, 13 September 2008
Sorry for the long silence
Yes, blame the units I'm taking in this semester. So much to catch up every week, one tute exercise after another to keep me busy, assignments now and then to worry about, and not to forget a test next week for ECON201.
Plus, more worries about internship applications. Frankly speaking I'm in a huge dilemma. For two possible outcomes (STAT271 stuff rubs on me rather often, blame it not me):Getting the offer and not getting the offer. This is a obviously a Bernoulli (p) distributed random variable. You can go on and test the hypothesis etc but I shall stop here before readers start switching to some other web page in protest.
Yes, so where was I....Oh yea, if I get an offer, I would need to worry about HOW ON EARTH AM I GONNA WORK IN KL?? ie. accommodation, transport to and fro work. If I don't get an offer, I would feel very kiasu because some of my friends will get it (based on the law of large number, the probability of at least 1 friend of mine get the offer converges to one). *Argh, not stats stuff again...
So what could I do? Nothing, just wait and see. Before the internship application outcome is out, lets take a deep breathe-in and forget about it (temporarily).
Saturday, 30 August 2008
三首被我莫名其妙地喜歡的歌
這個人的歌很奇怪,聼一次覺得ok而已,按repeat一次覺得:“Erm....還不錯啦”,如果再repeat一次就會越聼越喜歡,然後就會拼命重播。
哎。。。。爲了方便自己我把它們放在這兒,沒事干的人可以試聼下。
第一首:圓舞曲
第二首:白旗
第三首:最後一面
Sunday, 24 August 2008
How I spent my saturday
Anyways, I was up from bed at 7.30am, a typical waking up time for each Saturday for the one and only reason: because I wanted to go for fitness instructor Narelle's fatburner class. Seriously, she's easily 60++ but she's still as fit as a tigress. Knee-up run, muscle training, steps, push-up, crunches .... a 60-something-year-old-lady can do all these, better than most of the youngsters. She does look fit with her well-toned body despite , shh..., her wrinkles and all that.
Finished fatburner class at 10.00am. Reached home and bathed while thinking hard on what I should have for lunch (since I've depleted my stock of bread, tomatoes, carrots what else could I do with?)
The answer came pretty fast : Continental instant satay rice. A voice inside me screamed: That is freakin' unhealthy!! Another voice replied: Else? You wanna starve?
My health-conscious self gave in. I took that packet (full of unhealthy seasoning) out from my cupboard and started cooking.
At 4.30pm I started dressing up for MGM. We were supposed to be ready at the bus stop by 4.45pm but knowing that Malaysians don't normal make it at the time 'they are supposed to' I didn't expect punctuality from my housemates and the others. I think by the time the bus left MUV it was already 5.15pm. Yes, our time is indeed half-an-hour late! Accurately.
One thing was I didn't bother to even look at the ticket the time I bought it, hence I had no idea at all regarding the required attire, which was formal or traditional. Nah, it's not like I would follow if I knew it before hand though. Despite my non-nonchalance many did dress up properly especially the guys who put on blazer and tie etc. Well, I told them they looked like future CEO of a casino or some corporation like that.
We reached UNSW 20 minutes later because our bus didn't stop like its public counterparts do. The weather wasn't kind to usl, it was freezing COLD outdoor. Despite having three layers inside me I could still feel my fingers being numb. Anyway, it wasn't all gloomy as we were heading for a buffet serving Malaysian food which many of us were missing awfully. Although it didn't start on time ( as usual, our time is half-an-hour late) but it was a sumptuous meal. I took 2 serving as my stomach was churning like crazy because I just had satay rice for the whole day.
Love the satay and ketupat, bryiani rice and a variety of meat cooked with spices. Well I won't say the standard was up to what we could get in Malaysia (that is never going to happen) but wow I did realise how much I miss home and a large part of it came from FOOD.
Having the experience of stuffing myself up to 101% and thus losing my ability to walk fast on Chen Chin's birthday, I was careful enough to only fill up 95% of my stomach lol.
After eating we headed to the Science Theatre to watch the performance which was theoretically the main reason people buy their tickets (though I never doubt most of them appreciate the food much more than the show, just like myself). To be honest it was an average one without too much extra-ordinary acting, nonetheless good effort to the group of UNSW Malaysians. The funniest part was this altered song and the scene where Ameen acting as a working father dated his 'bimbo secretary'.
I got to know two TESL girls who are ex-college mates of my high schoolmate Felicia. They were such cam whores. One funny comment asked by myself with a semi-retarded tone was: The same 'scenery' (note that we were nowhere interesting but in the bus), same human, why you need to take like n times??? They giggled for almost 10 seconds and replied, "Now you know the difference between us and Actuarial students". Seriously, they might be right. Or maybe not. They get high utility by taking the same photos, us being busier with life prefer to do some other thing, such as sitting still and watching them syiok-sendiri with amusement.
It was a fun night!
Sunday, 17 August 2008
星光三總決賽
徐佳瑩拿第一,林芯儀第二:沒有任何出乎預料的東西發生,排名根本就和積分賽的一模一樣。
個人是一直都喜歡佳瑩拉,開始很不喜歡芯儀那個苦瓜臉,後來習慣了也就不以爲然了。
表演方面覺得芯儀輸在“華而不實”的表演,同意王偉忠說的就像Beijing Olympic Games 的Opening ceremony,感覺很厲害但不會由衷地喜歡。
佳瑩的聲音就是很舒服,很乾淨,很圓潤,沒有芯儀的那種殺氣power但又會讓喜歡的人瘋狂。費玉清出道以來三十多年喜歡他的人就是喜歡他很乾淨滑潤溫柔猶如美酒佳 肴的那種歌喉,我就是其中一個,常被人說你幹嗎喜歡聼那麽老土的歌。hey告訴你,人家出道三十多年還有那麽多瘋狂歌迷,很厲害叻!
話説回來覺得徐佳瑩的創作歌曲,令我為之瘋狂的只有《身騎白馬抒情版》(的確很驚艷),讓我琅琅上口覺得好聽的是《圓舞曲》(沖涼的時候不知不覺哼了曲子),剩下的《白旗》、《一樣的月光》,《失落沙洲》都還ok而已老實說,idea很有魅力但詞曲都只是above average,沒到非常好。我本來就不喜歡快歌(張惠妹的那種),覺得那種歌内容很膚淺,好像詞寫來只爲了押韻,曲故意很造作爲了就是配合跳舞,所以《香水》我覺得好看的是表演歌聲,不是歌本身。
反倒是她翻唱的一些歌我喜歡得很,像:
《心痛的感覺》-蘇芮《愛情轉移》-陳奕訊
《我愛你》-盧廣仲
三首歌唱得非常有自己的味道!
瘋狂看了三季星光,真正喜歡的表演除了身騎白馬、圓舞曲、上面三首拉拉的歌,還有:
林宥嘉唱《你是我的眼》-蕭煌奇:我因此認識 蕭煌奇這個傳奇(盲人)歌手
楊宗緯唱《背叛》-曹格:以前不怎麽喜歡這首歌的
楊宗緯唱《新不了情》:一絕!蕭敬騰的沒那麽好,太苦了。
王彥博,游鴻明合唱《戀上另一個人》-游鴻明:非常喜歡albert合的音,很有feel。
林雨宣唱《天天想你》-張雨生:就像子鴻說的,好誠懇的感覺。因此喜歡這首歌。
黎楚寧唱《Save me from myself》:整個比賽她最好的表現,有蔡琴低音的魅力。
就這樣,四班也不知道什麽時候開始,反正我都是從20強開始看的。
Thursday, 7 August 2008
Hail the cheapskates.
2 ang-moh's, a guy and a girl. I presume that they were a couple. By the way, Woolies happened to have a sale on the lunch buns, which was selling 12 for $2.99. A pretty good deal I thought, from past experience. Also, canned tuna was selling 7 for $7.
The pair looked really joyous chit-chatting with one another. Dating sweetly, I suppose. They were sitting together at a table in the food court, with their laps stuck together, eating what you guess? Remember what I said about the special items?
You got it, smart. They were using the plastic knife provided in the foodcourt, cutting open a bun from the 12 pack, stuffing canned tuna on it, and ate the bun of course. Oh yeah, they did the cutting on a piece of tissue paper, also from the food court.
I thought cheapskates exist only among asians. The truth is, there are also some among the ang-moh's. Such an eye-opener.
Sunday, 3 August 2008
Time to get back to normality
From tomorrow onwards till the next long summer vacation, I shall
Start:
1. To be serious again. Subjects taken this semester includes STAT271 (the hardest unit in the entire actuarial degree), ECON201 (a 4-credit point, no play-play unit), and ACST255 (well, this is the first unit that focuses intensively on actuarial stuff)
2. My grand plan to lose weight after eating lots of junk food during holidays. Yeah, this holiday saw lots of indulgence on Doritos, Bulla ice-cream, Papa frozen pizza, wasabi peas etc. Say no to junk food for the new semester!
3. Eating stir-fried chicken, veggie and steamed rice for dinner.
Stop:
1. Sleeping at 1am every night to watch TVB drama series. You guess it, drama marathon is my main activity for the past 6 weeks. I know it's ridiculous.
2. Lazying around like a pig, walking slowly like a tortoise. There isn't much time to waste when student life is resumed.
3. Thinking that it is OK to wake up at 8.30am everyday. No, not when I have 4 days of morning classes in a week.
I can't believe that I actually look forward to the start of my new semester. One month is sufficient to get myself bored of drama series, that is when I start to miss uni life. Though I must admit that this fresh wave of enthusiasm will be soon replaced by constant stress on tutes, assignments, and exams.
Thursday, 31 July 2008
新学期又要开始了
很多人都这么说的,在大学的生活是最让人怀念的,而且这段时间的可贵总是在开始工作时才会体会到。也许吧!现在读书压力是有,但也算是除了课业压力之外无忧无虑。天天到健身房去 出一些汗,偶尔和朋友到外边去花一花钱,开心一下,或者打一打工赚些pocket money来买东买西。
Second year的课业的确是比第一年难了很多,上学期的表现老实说我是不太满意,好像态度上有了一点散漫,忽视了一些致命的小细节。这次万万不可小看精算部门的科目,这些都是些老奸圆滑的老教授掌柜的,他们巴不得把labour supply 减少,让professional actuary的工资保持现在的顶点。真够奸的,最多negative marking的就是这些人批改的科目了,最少(其实是没有)consultation hour 的也是这些教授,最会‘锄’其他部门的也是他们。哎。。。现在会批评他们啦,以后也不知道会不会自己也变成那种人。
不过说实在的啦, 在这里看人看多了,也觉得真正的好人很难得。尤其是处于社会高层的人,能够谦虚低调不看不起别人的,越来越少。目前在这个领域最看得顺眼的就是Professor Pollard 了。他是非非非常常常顶尖的精算师,很多我们读的theory 和model都是他想出来的,这种人简直是赚钱
'湿湿水’,不过看他还对学生很好很谦虚,不会看不起international students,又不会太执著于赚钱,会带老婆用一辆小如kancil的车子环游亚洲,而且是到那种被人视为落后如伊朗印度的地方。超佩服这种勇气!
其他的人呢? 有些就很自以为是看不起别的领域,有些就很看不起亚洲人,有些就很冷漠很不爱理会别人,有些就性情孤独不爱和别人打交道。。。。各种各样我都看过了,虽然只在这里一年半。
只能希望自己以后不要变样,厉害的人又怎样嘛? 还不是要吃饭拉屎对不对?
总之我这个新学期一定要努力,天天向上!!!
很久没有这种semangat的feel了,这是个好的开始。
Monday, 28 July 2008
Notes on a Scandal
It all began with my routine surf on msn news as I had my breakfast. I do this everyday, but today's reading on msn health section brings something to my attention. An article advising about what a man should be aware of if his wife (a teacher) is getting unusually close with her male students. Yeah yeah, another piece of good advice from experts that stresses on how important is communication between husband and wife to make a marriage work. The article makes a reference to the movie 'Notes of a Scandal' to warn the confused husband about the possible consequences of indifference. Well, the title caught my interest. I clicked on the link out of curiosity, and the rest is history.
The story is presented via a voice narrating from a diary of Babara Covett, a 60-something spinster who is numb from her 35 - year career as a teacher in a supposedly well-established school. Being a lesbian (it wasn't stated explicitly in the movie but this is the message I got), she was gratified by what she thought was an "unusual connection" with a new teacher Sheba Hart, who was married to a man 16 years her senior. This Sheba, who was rather bored with her role as a mother to two troublesome kids and a wife to a seemingly unattractive old man, was in a secret intimate relationship with her 15-year-old male student Steven Connolly. While Sheba took Babara as an ordinary friend, Babara assumed "ownership" over Sheba's "loyalty" (such a bitch!). One day Babara caught Sheba having sex with the young boy, and got exasperated over Sheba's "betrayal" (who you think you are to own her?). Babara promised to keep the secret provided that Sheba could stop the relationship with the underaged boy. Sheba agreed but she broke her promise because she was getting increasingly needy of the "young towel of testosterone" (such a lusty description in the movie). Babara reveales the secret to a colleague who was interested to "commit an adultery" with Sheba out of jealousy and a feeling of betrayal, while pretending to know nothing when Sheba was admonished and despised by her family and the society. Babara offered Sheba accommodation and "companionship" when Sheba was on bail shortly after her arrest. Sheba eventually found out about the real intention of Babara to befriend her, shouting hysterically that she was not interested in a lesbian relationship with the old woman and was baffled at how things turned out after a seemingly innocent invitation for Babara to attend her family lunch to thank her for her help to stop a school fighting. Sheba was sentenced to 10 months of jail and returned to her family after that (I assume so based on a scene). The old lesbian bought a new notebook to record diary entries on her next target, who was also a young pretty lady. Sheba was not her first, and certainly not her last.
What a family destroyer! What a selfish and syiok-sendiri spinster who assumes others' extension of friendship indicates romantic (lesbian) seduction . What a repressive lesbian predator who cries over betrayal from other people but is blind to her own possessive characteristics! She lives a lonely life without long-term friendship because of who she is. Padan-muka.
Judi Dench did a great acting to make me despise Babara so much. Great effort from Cate Blanchett who played Sheba as well. Just lovin' the way hatred, jealousy, revenge, sex hunger, repression, obsession are portrayed in this movie that I didn't expect to come across at all this morning.
Sunday, 27 July 2008
Shall we fly???
You probably guess it. Drama watching is what I've been doing for the past few days. Didn't start on drama series till the middle of July. I know all too well the addiction that comes with entering the world that doesn't belong to me, the joy and excitement upon following the life stories, the ups and downs of characters in the drama. Most of us like it, but we all know that it isn't the best thing to do when time is preciously scarce e.g. during an academic semester.
Ah Wai chatted with me while waiting for his pal before work. We talked about internship,again. Do we need interns experience? Absolutely beyond any doubt. But shall we get it? Can we get it?Where can we get it? How? These are the common questions that arise in a typical conversation about internship programme. As I told my other friend during an msn chat session, overseas students like us face a dilemma: We go back Malaysia at the end of the year to spend valuable time and catch up with our family members, is it wise then to work as an intern away from home (for those people like myself who don't stay close to KL)? We only see our parents, siblings and other relatives this time in a year, shall we spend so much of our time working instead?
I admit that I don't have an answer. The whole prospect of being an independent adult scares me. I remember being in kindergarten that day, playing rope games with my primary schoolmates that day, stressing out for SPM Biology exam that day, freaking out for SAM finals that day, and feeling like I just came to Australia that day, and just finished the last paper of first semester of 2008 that day. And now, my winter break is almost over. Time waits for no one. I feel that time moves even faster since I finished secondary school. Sometimes I can't really believe that it's been 4 years since I left school.
How much have I grown? I know a part of myself is still a kid. I still love to be dependent (sounds weird isn't it)? Or maybe I should put it another way: I like to be able to share my joy, sorrow, and life problems with family and friends, while keeping some little secrets to myself occasionally. I have to be an independent adult some day, that is for sure. But when should that day be? As Ray said before, people who rush through life will suffer later (that doesn't always come from a boy who is a year younger than me). My question is, how fast is growing up considered too fast?
Our wings were weak then, we couldn't fly. We are well taken care off by our parents. We are loved and shielded from the storms in the outside world. We complain about how boring it is to stay in the nest built for us, and how exciting it would be to be out there seeking for freedom, not knowing the harsh reality in a dog-eat-dog world.
Our wings are stronger now, but shall we fly? Or shall we stay a little longer in this cosy little nest?
Friday, 25 July 2008
Another 4 months of fitness
“ My gym membership expired three days ago. I'm here to ask about the different options I have in extending my membership."
"Sure."
"I'm wondering is there any similar offer to the one early of the year where two students join together will get each of them one month free?"
"No, sorry."
"So that sort of thing only happens at the beginning of the year?”
"Yeah, it would probably be there again early next year, but right now it isn't."
Another lady came by.
"Are you a student?"
"Yeah."
"Trust me you students are paying $37.50 a month, that is ridiculously cheap. You guys are paying a third of what an adult member is paying. It's really a good rate you can't get it elsewhere."
"Alright. So I wish to extend it for another 4 months."
"Sure no problem. Can you fill in your name and sign here? Did your details change over this few months? No? Great"
(After keying in my details and scanning my card)
"150 dollars please. Thank you."
There you go. I commit myself to another 4 months of fitness. GO!GO!GO! I love gym!
To be honest I enjoy it. I love the classes. Fatburner sweats you out like no one's business and makes you feel as agile as a monkey. Revmaster makes your heart go 'thump, thump, thump' like it is going to jump out. Outdoor pool is freezing during winter but charming on a summer day. Indoor pool always feel like a spa with water of 27 degree celcius.
$37.50 a month? It's well worth it. But I'll still get another friend to sign up with me next year to get an even cheaper rate of $30 a month. Haha.
Sunday, 20 July 2008
这里真的有那么好吗?
在这里读书数来也有一年半了,发现事实其实不像我想的那么完美。当然,如果在这里生活钱途应该是会不错,澳洲的minimum wage regulation确保人力的价值,就连casual 或part-time都有不错的工资,full-time 就更不用说了。难怪有好多人,像中国人、香港人、印度人、甚至马来西亚和新加坡人纷纷过来念书,然后申请PR居住这里。
可能是因为我们是sponsored student,不够了解在外国留学的真正费用(不只是我吧!有多少JPA scholars 知道自己每一年花政府多少钱?),我们对是否能够申请PR并不会觉得怎样,毕竟都是要回国服务嘛!说真的,“能不能申请PR我不怎么在呼”这句话要我在一些自费来留学的朋友面前说我可不敢,会被他们瞪眼。想当然耳,如果这大笔留学费用是父母的血汗钱我也会坚持在这里工作几年,通通把学费赚回来再打算。
最不喜欢应该是一些当地人的思想和生活习惯吧!直到现在其实我的生活圈子也只是围绕在‘自己人’(Malaysians or Singaporeans)的范围内,偶尔和一些中国人说说话。洋人嘛,我们真的是敬而远之。可以说90%的鬼佬心里非常看不起亚洲人,尤其是黄皮肤的,能和他们打交道的亚洲人,通常都是土生土长的ABC (Australian Born Chinese)。ABC是我最看不顺眼的一群人,因为很多ABC都自以为自己是鬼佬,看不起自己的族群,这点我在之前的posting就提过了。
如果在这里生活,我们的下一代也很有可能变成忘本,不懂自己文化,只懂英语的ABC是吧?洋人文化里的binge drinking(指酗酒),party, free sex (性开放)等都是与东方文化格格不入的。自己看到身边的一些人,住澳洲不久就接受了这些文化,不禁觉得心寒。哎,学好三年学坏三天这句话是一点都不错,不自爱的人堕落的速度真的好惊人。
这里毕竟是洋人的地盘,华人在这里永远都被视为第二等公民。
我住过三个国家:马来西亚(当然咯!)、新加坡、澳洲。最喜欢的是新加坡,我在那里虽然只住了短短的半年,但却打从心里地爱上那里。小小的岛屿,有的是西方国家如澳洲的先进硬体设施,东方国家如马来西亚的传统社会生活文化。当时我离开新加坡比离开马来西亚到澳洲来更难过,那里有最棒的治安,最温暖的人情,最平等的社会,最平均最有水准的教育系统。。。。哎,李光耀当时坚持要独立真的有他的,短短几十年搞到现在的新加坡把马来西亚抛得远远的,九泉下的老东姑心中也不知是什么滋味。
当然这不代表我不爱自己的祖国。马来西亚有我最美好的童年回忆,我血浓与水的家人、亲戚,最要好的朋友等等,这些都不是金钱的诱惑可以改变的,不管马来西亚是否存在着很‘出名’的种族不平等。世界上不可能有百分百的公平吧我想,澳洲也有明显的社会不平等啊!自从今年的大选,我看到的是逐渐成熟的选民,常被施压而尝试改善的政府,虽然晚了三十年但最终还是到来的教育改革(指英语教学),还有一个迈向democracy (民主制度)的社会。多数人不会单纯到相信老马哈迪的2020宏愿可以完全实现(这需要一个奇迹,一个标青的领袖,目前Barisan Nasional 里好像没有这样一个有潜质的人),但我相信至少现在的进展没有和宏愿背道而驰。
为什么我会写这些?三个原因:
一,我现在还在假期,有时间想这种东西;
二,有太多人谈起申请PR的事情;
三,最近几天看到了很多洋人或ABC瞧不起华人的活例子,有感而发。
Friday, 18 July 2008
The fight against crime
As I was on my way back from Macquarie Shopping Centre with lots of groceries for my survival for this coming week, I was struck by the question of why people commit crime. To be blunt, why do robbers rob and rapists rape? By the way I quoted these two examples because robberies and rape cases are the most common crime in Malaysia. Many would blame money and sex as the ultimate motivation. Well, true enough, but what makes money and sex so sought after?
Wealth promises access to luxury items, sex gives satisfaction. In the animals' world, food and sex move the entire ecosystem. Animals hunt and kill the weak. Animals mate when their hormones instruct them to do so. If we put aside our ego for being the species that undergo the most evolution (homo sapien we are), how much different is human being from other less evolved creatures?
We are different because we are guided by a set of non-natural rules called moral principles. We define what is right and what is wrong, based not on our natural instinct but the egalitarian wish to create a world of harmony, peace and fairness different from the world of beasts. Robbery is wrong because it is against the rule of ownership, which is obviously non-existent in the animals' world. Have you ever seen a stronger fox give in to a weaker fox who hunted down a rabbit? Even though the stronger fox did not do the hunting, by sheer force it gets to enjoy the result of others' labour. Robberies are motivated by the same urge to want things that do not belong to us.
Similarly, why do rape, incest, paedophilia happen? In the world of animal, the males will search for females during the mating season, and being guided by hormone they would have sex as a means for reproduction. Sex is natural and created by God to ensure the continuity of the species' survivalship. In the human's world, certain behaviours in the animal kingdom are unacceptable because they are defined as 'morally wrong'. Sex without consent is considered rape, sex with a family member is considered incest, sex with an underaged child is considered paedophilia. Are the aforementioned behaviours absent in the beast's world? No.
Crime happened as human relapse to animal's behaviour, that is, when human choose to follow their natural instinct (controlled by hormones) rather than the artificial moral principles. Animals act based on natural instincts, because they can't do more than that. There is no right or wrong, only survivalship matters. But we, the most evolved species, care more than survival. We want everyone to follow a certain code of conduct to ensure peace and equity. Our brains have developed to the extent that we care about the greater good of the entire human race, not just our individual gratification. And to achieve this, we enact law to impose punishment on its infringement, as an incentive for ourselves to go against our natural (perhaps beasty) instincts.
Criminal activities are proofs to the incomplete evolution of human being. We are still evolving for the better, moving towards the eventual ideality that promises a world where everyone will live peacefully and happily together, where no one will starve and suffer, where everyone acts according to his/her will as long as it is not against the law. The war against crime is the war against ourselves - our own tendency to act like animals for which rules and regulations do not prevail.
Tuesday, 15 July 2008
The time of the year when laziness is perfectly acceptable
The coldest time of winter is over. Mornings no longer make me shiver, nights no longer require layering up. My heater is officially having its much-needed rest. Even the man who came to fix my shower this afternoon complained about the heat and wondered why I could stay at home when the sunshine outdoor was so beautiful. Well, I'm a Malaysian you know. We have sunshine all the time. I don't appreciate sunshine as much as the Aussies do.
Half a month to go till my next semester starts. I'm just gonna enjoy the rest of my holiday to the fullest. My internet is speed-limited earlier than I expected, which reminds me how big a part that internet plays in my life here. Now I can't watch videos on Youtube until my next billing date. How terrible is that.
I shall see what else I can do without Youtube. Drama series in my hard disk? Newspaper? Going out? Or working?
你还记得吗
当时站在起跑点上
望着茫茫前路的感觉
你还记得吗
当时恐惧的心
在无助地挣扎
不懂得面对选择的你
在迟疑,在懵懂
一段旅程
最艰难的是起跑
因为它需要最大的勇气
最美丽的是路旁的风景
这比到达目的地
更能被记忆收留
每个踏上旅程的人
都希望前面的路平坦、康庄
但路一直就是坎坷的
最终到达目的地的人
不是不曾跌倒
而是懂得在每次跌倒后
咬紧牙根,忍住泪水
爬起来的人
回头看这一路走来
多少辛酸欢笑同时凝聚心头
你也许会问
踏上这段路是否值得
但每一次答案都像晨雾里的花朵
似有似无
你也只好走下去
休息是为了走更远的路
待收拾心情
我们向背后的一切道别
再次为理想,为梦
重新出发
* 在此鼓励自己,也鼓励大家,遇到挫折时不要放弃。
Friday, 11 July 2008
The beast side of human
Unfortunately, moral principles don't make trespasses less attractive. In fact, it does the opposite. What is forbidden always tastes good, there goes the saying.
I'm saying these because I just watched a new MV of a new singer: 林宥嘉 (Yoga Lin) - 眼色 (The colour of your eyes). For once I couldn't judge if it is a good MV (in the past I could always conclude if an MV is good). It has excellent shooting, the lyrics matches the storyline perfectly, Yoga's singing is great.
But, the MV touches the grey area of human morality. It shows explicitly free sexual behaviour, both homosexual and otherwise. Some people would probably say that my thoughts are too traditional, that in this modern era no one cares about whether you have pre-marital or extramarital sex. Still, Yoga is the champion in the singing competition 星光大道 (first season). In other words, he is an idol to many, mostly people in their teens. Despite being banned on TV, the MV scores a major hit on Youtube, thus it shows that many (young) people have already viewed it.
The way the MV is directed portrays what I would put as the beast side of human, one that is controlled solely by hormone. It makes no reference to love, only lust. Sex is downgraded to an act of pure satisfaction of desire without responsibility.
It may not be Yoga's idea to shoot this MV. If this is the case, then it must be the company with whom he signed a six-year contract. One could argue that this form of sexually explicit MV is in commonplace elsewhere, especially in western countries, but does this make it right, at least in an Asian country?
The company has so obviously cashed in on the primitive but suppressed desire to the forbidden fruit of human nature. To be fair I shall also give credit to the good singing, but I feel that the theme of the MV is what makes it so popular among teenagers.
As much as I like Yoga as a singer, I disgust the way his song is commercialised.
无厘头诗
步入黑暗的笼罩
寻找那熟悉冰冷的影子
上头突然响起震撼的音乐
旅程正式开始
我冲,我放
我竭尽所能
魔王的降临
埋没不了心中的热血
残酷的疲惫
消灭不了坚定的意志
鬼在空中
呼喊着:“放弃吧!”
尖叫着:“离开吧!”
而我
却蛮横地往前冲
不顾死活
单独地抗衡
对周遭视而不见
只望着
遥远的灯
还有那股打气的声音
行走着
呻吟着
却还要撑
撑到另一个山顶
车响
人叹
脚步没停过
生怕迷失了自己
消磨了斗志
Com'on give it all
Leaving nothing
And you own the world, yourself
Sweating like a shower
Slowing down, and you breathe success.
后记:试着直读每段第一个字,最后一段的每个开头字母,就是主题。
Wednesday, 9 July 2008
The continuum of time and space
Boredom forces me to keep looking out for something unfamiliar, something unbelievable. As I was browsing through youtube in a quest for more Taiwanese entertainment show I bumped upon this intriguing video - "The greatest prediction of mankind" (translation, it is a chinese clip). So I couldn't resist the temptation and thus watched that clip, followed by more videos listed as related to the first one. Then I googled for more information about how some extraordinary people could predict the future with great accuracy on details and read the book written by Huang Yi (黄易) titled "Predictions that stun the world" (惊世大预言).
The whole idea begins with this french guy Nostradamus who lived in the mid 16th century. He wrote the book titled “The Centuries" which contains poems that describe the future. As spooky as it sounds, the alleged interpretation of the 'poem' written by him depicts with high accuracy many important events that happened decades or even centuries after his death.
Some chilling examples:
1. September 11 attack
In the City of God there will be a great thunder,
Two brothers torn apart by Chaos,
while the fortress endures,
the great leader will succumb,
The third big war will begin when the big city is burning
City of God = New York
Two brothers = Twin tower
Fortress = The Pentagon
Great leader = President of United States
Third big war = Iraq war
2. Japanese attack on Pearl Harbour (couldn't find an English translation)
那属於太阳的人不能安全渡海
威尼斯的人掌握整个非洲
上星再占据了国上
亚洲会改变
太阳人=Japanese
威尼斯人=Italian
The Pearl Harbour attack marked the beginning of World War II. Japanese proceeded to take control of many Asian nations while Italians intruded many African countries. The Japanese and Italian were allies during WW2.
3. Death of Henry II (quoted from the analysis of experts)
The young lion will overcome the older one,
On the field of combat in a single battle;
He will pierce his eyes through a golden cage,
Two wounds made one, then he dies a cruel death.
(Century 1, Quatrain 35)
In June 1559, Henry II ignored all warnings that Nostradamus gave him and participated in a jousting tournament against the Comte de Montgomery. Both men used shields embossed with lions. Montgomery was six years younger than Henry.
During the final bout of fighting in the tournament, Montgomery failed to lower his lance in time. It shattered, sending a large splinter through the king’s gilded visor (golden cage). The result was two moral wounds (two wounds made one and then he will die a cruel death.) One splinter spliced eye; the other impaled his temple just behind the eye. Both splinters from the lance penetrated his brain. Henry lived for ten days in agony, thus fulfilling the Nostradamus prophecy that he would die a cruel death.
So, is the continuum of time and space fixed? Or is it alterable by you and I? Are we doing what we are doing, being the person we are, being in a place at a certain time, because this is how it is supposed to be?
So this is winter in Sydney
But, I still like winter, as long as I'm indoor. Weird huh? One of the most enjoyable thing to do is to sit on my bed, covering myself with quilt, watching and laughing at whatever drama or video clip my laptop is playing. Idle lifestyle you may say. Hey, we need a good rest and relaxation after every semester of toiling and striving. Winter is so much better than summer, when many people will set out for sun-bathing, partying etc while I on my fan on highest speed, sweating and cursing the hot weather. Joy is so right on saying that " we can always layer up when it is cold but we can't possibly strip naked when it is hot".
I still insist on going to gym everyday, despite the weather making it harder for me. It's always windy and sometimes, rainy, outside. While I was typing this post the wind was ROARING like it was about to eat everyone outside up. Trees were shaking like it was their clubbing session. All these make you feel like staying at home, watching from afar how minuscule human are when Mother Nature shows her wrath.
Sunday, 6 July 2008
在平凡的日子里寻找不平凡的感触
近来因不想看连续剧(故事情节我是预测得越来越准)而转看综艺节目。通常综艺节目都是些无聊的搞笑等等,目的就是让观众打发时间的,但我很意外地在《星光大道》里听到一些相当有道理的东西。讲出来我爸爸一定不相信,因为上一辈的人都觉得台湾综艺节目都是“扮傻瓜来博人一笑的傻戏”。
有个叫林鸿明的rocker 型歌手到星光舞台去挑战两万台币的奖金,结果唱出来的评审因不认同而给了很低的分数。林说:“要让全世界的人喜欢你是不可能的,你能做的就是做好自己,让在乎你,爱你的人喜欢你,让自己不讨厌自己就可以了。”看不出他那副傻里傻气的样子竟然在自己表现欠佳时说出这样个豁达的话,赞。看过一些朋友常常为了别人的闲言闲语而难过,自己有时也会很在意别人的眼光。哎,通常生气的原因都是别人无意的话我们却有意地接受,让自己受没有必要的心灵折磨,何必呢?
还有一句陶晶莹说的也是很对 - 有时在生活中不要抱有太大的得失心,失败每个人都会有的,成功的人不是没遇过失败,而是懂得从失败中走出来,变得更强的人。她说这句话是在安慰被淘汰的选手,不过这也是像我们这种追求事业理想的人时常忘记的部分。我中五的华文老师在我们班刊留下类似这样的话:" 我不知道在你们身边的同学到底是‘战友’还是‘朋友’,觉得你们太在乎学业的结果而忽略了过程。考得比别人好不好真的那么重要吗? 或许SPM 过后一切会变得不一样,但希望你们能珍惜同在一个屋檐下的日子。”(哈哈,我的记忆力有没有把你吓倒?没有啦这不是exact sentence,秩序也不一定是这样,不过黄老师确实有写过这种话。)总之和陶子说的有异曲同工之妙,都是叫你我不要太过计较人生的成败得失而迷失自己。
在同一集有一个缩影也是很有意思。有个叫曾静纹的很有歌唱天分,前两次干掉高手而一炮而红,这次却因为压力太大而表现失常,在台上崩溃。她说她现在红了很不开心,开始时很想引起大家瞩目,现在得到了却发现自己根本不能负荷。她才十五岁叻,就要承受这种压力,很可怜啊老实说。在学术界这种压力也是会害死人,马上我就想到得了忧郁症去世的神童张世明、我那位承受不了scholarship holder 所面对的压力而郁郁寡欢的学姐、我在新加坡听过的那位荣获牛津大学奖学金但后来承受不了考试不理想而自杀的学长 。。。。真的,一个人很需要懂得自己安慰自己,在学习怎么成功的同时我们也应学习怎么面对失败。
后记: 很多朋友说我写blog是渐渐走感性路线了,我承认啦。之前都写些生活琐碎事很无聊,就想在假期写不一样的,希望我不会太肉麻哈哈。很谢谢那些读我blog的朋友,抱歉又花了您宝贵的时间(鞠躬)。
Saturday, 5 July 2008
The epitome of the 'YES SIR' attitude
Dr Mahathir is a great leader.
He is the best Malaysian Prime Minister in history.
He successfully saved the country from slumping into a depression during the 1997 Asian Financial Crisis.
He is formidable even to Americans.
He speaks openly and bravely on global issues without fear.
And recently, he joined the group of bloggers, and is writing regularly on chedet.com. Good (but not always neutral) articles. Fluent English, unlike most of the Malaysian so-called leaders who can only speak like you, I, alright, don't know (some of them don't understand that the singular equivalent is doesn't know, as they use don't all the time). He is great but he is still a human.
If your curiosity is built up at this point thus you decide to go to his blog to have a look, go ahead by all means. But if you also wish to read the comments below the articles, I would suggest that you are better-off spending your time digging your nose. Why? Because I can tell you 95% ( a conservative figure) of what his blog readers say here in just a few sentences. So you save time reading them here rather than having to scroll down and read each of them on chedet.com lol.
Apa yang tun cakap tu memang betul/benar!
Kenapa Pak Lah tidak secekap/sebijak Tun?
Your ideas are brilliant/excellent Tun
You are always the best/my idol Tun
Thank you for letting Malaysians know the truth behind the issue (since when does a politician speak truth???)
Semoga Tun sihat and hidup lama/long live Tun
Bravo Tun, you speak our heart
Fine, I have no qualms on wishing him good health. I hope he lives long as well.
But look at the other comments. Why can't they talk about something else other than YES SIR YOU ARE SO RIGHT all the time? Why can't they think rationally about the issues that Dr M come out with and discuss it in a mature way? Are Malaysian readers dumb or is it because people who can think couldn't bother or are afraid to let their voices be heard? I believe that it is the latter.
Freedom of speech. This is essentially what separates us from the developed world. Just look at the commentary and public opinion on msn, bbc, TIME just to name a few foreign media. The comments made by readers are so much more mature, showing to the world that the people there understand what is going on in this world.
Chedet.com is probably the most unrestricted media in Malaysia at the moment. Just look at what's written on New Straits Times and The Star. There is some improvement since the last General Election but there is still much to be done before Malaysian mass media can declare itself as being politically neutral.
Before that happens, digging your nose is probably a better alternative.
Friday, 4 July 2008
So this movie is back-breaking
He probably deserves it I would say. However, the whole thing about gay relationship did...erm...churn up my stomach. Tell you what, I even felt like throwing out my lunch upon seeing the first erotic scene in the movie. Yes, it is EROTIC. I was a bit like eewww...why on earth would anyone think of using homosexuality as the theme.
But to be honest aside from the theme the entire production deserves nothing less than the three academy award that it obtained. Still ... (deep breath)...it's a new experience for myself to see two boys hugging, kissing each other, sleeping together etc.
How I pity their wives. Please lah boys out there,if you know that you're a gay don't ever get married because your wife and children will suffer (*wink). The whole big time when the movie was played on my laptop I felt that my back was aching (it's really back-breaking, huh?) as I really felt for the gay men's wives. Why should they suffer from their husbands' sexual orientation? I agree fully with Ennis del Mar (one of the gay guys) that 'his wife is innocent'. But so is Ennis and Jack Twist (another gay guy). Is homosexuality meant to be natural? By the way the front cover of the booklet that comes together with the DVD reads 'LOVE IS A FORCE OF NATURE'. If it is natural why is the society despising, condemning, and criminalising (at least in some part of the world) homosexuality? Are these people sick or just different?
These are hard, if not impossible, to answer. It shudders me to imagine the possible consequences of legalising unisex marriage as it might lead to people demanding for bestiality (having sex with animals, eewwww!!!) or incest (in Malay this is called sumbang mahram) and other so-called 'abnormal sexual behaviour' to be made legal as well.
Ok I shall not write more as this is grossing me to ... no I shall refrain from using those you-know-what language that is all too common in Australia. Guess I can't agree more with what Joy said about Brokeback, that 'it discusses a mature topic'. No we can't say that it is a sick show. That would be too biased. So calling it a mature adult movie is probably the right way. Just like how Australians term shops that sell pornographic/erotic books as ADULT BOOKSHOPS lol.
Thursday, 3 July 2008
我最看不起忘本的人
女生承认自己已经三四年完全以英语作为沟通语言了,就连和她父母也是用英语说话。当时我们在场的都觉得不可思议,怎么可能连家人都不放过嘛!主持人赞她的英语水平,她一定是洋洋得意,笑得好开心的。但我和几位在场的都很看不惯,坐我旁边在UNSW 念书的香港男生也偷偷跟我说这个人有点讨厌,怎么可以瞧不起自己的母语嘛。像她这样的人我遇到不少了,我们有时也和中国人谈话,一开口就说中文是为了尊重他们,但是有些怪胎却觉得你是在瞧不起他们的英语水平而不说英语。莫名其妙的心态!
这种就是我们所谓的忘本。我不反对崇洋心态,毕竟人还是要向现实低头的,现在英语在国际舞台还是举足轻重,想要飞黄腾达的人一定要学好,但也不至于鄙视自己的文化,语言吧! 在澳洲读书已经一年多,这种事情真的是看多了。我去年的马来housemate也是这种样子,对洋人可以说是毕恭毕敬,对我们malaysian的态度简直就差天跟地。她和自己国家的人说话不知怎么一复装起澳洲口音,说得不伦不类,好像自己已经是鬼佬了,听了说实话觉得很恶心。
朋友说过,她有一天想吃海南鸡饭,就特地到一间马来西亚人开的饭店,叫饭时发现自己忘了带malaysian student association 的会员折扣卡,自认倒霉,但因为很想吃鸡饭还是叫了。结果过了很久饭才送来,而且还是老板娘送来的。她自己以为老板娘亲自出马是好事,结果老板娘冲着她用带有鄙视的口气很大声说虽然是malaysian,没带卡的一律不折扣。过了不久一个胖胖的鬼佬进来了,老板娘一鞠躬问道:“How can I help you, sir?"
天啊,这偏差也太大了吧?这些人不只是崇洋,还瞧不起自己的同胞,不是鬼以为自己是鬼。他们怎么不明白,这样做鬼佬也不会把他们当鬼看,却搞到亚洲人的厌恶,两头都不到岸,且迷失了自己原本的根。
Monday, 30 June 2008
My gosh, this song !!!
I'm the type of fussy listener who is only likely to like a song if it manages to appeal to more than 90% of chinese pop song listeners. But immediately after the first listening I could literally remember most of the melody, and some of the lyric as well.
CLICK HERE TO LISTEN
徐佳瑩-身騎白馬抒情完整版
我愛誰 跨不過 從來也不覺得錯
I could not get over whom I love, and had never felt that it was wrong
自以為 抓著痛 總能修成愛的果
I thought enduring pain could eventually make our love work
偏執相信著 受詛咒的水晶球
I believed obsessively in the cursed crystal ball
阻擋可能心動的理由
and stopped everything that may touch my heart
而你卻 靠近了 逼我們視線交錯
but you approached myself, forcing our sights to cross
原地不動 或向前走 突然在意這分鐘
shall I stay put, or move forward? At that moment I realised how much I care
眼前荒沙瀰漫了等候
about the long waiting that was marred by the sand in front of my eyes
耳邊傳來孱弱的呼救
and the withering call for help that travelled beside my ears
追趕要我愛的不保留
urging me to love you unconditionally
我身騎白馬 走三關
I rided on a white horse, and crossed three borders
我改換素衣 過中原
I changed to my plain attire, and passed the mainland,
放下西涼沒人管
relinquishing all my power in xi liang, and no one cared
我一心只想王寶釧
what I cared the most was you, my wife
典故:
薛平貴,年輕的時候去當兵打仗,後來變成大將軍,可是在和西涼國打仗的時候被抓了。本來是要被殺死的,但是西涼國的公主很喜歡他,要嫁給他,所以薛平貴就變成「駙馬爺」了,後來還掌理西涼國。可是他心繫中原的家庭,想著中原的太太. 於是他從西涼,穿著素衣,身騎白馬,過三關,回到中原,尋訪苦守寒窯十八年的王寶釧。
The context of this song:
Xue Ping Gui joined the army since he was young. He gradually moved up the rank to become a general. However, he was caught as a war prisoner when fighting against Xi Liang. He was meant to be executed but the pricess of Xi Liang fell in love with him and wanted to marry him. He married the princess and eventually took control of the kingdom. Despite his wealth and power, he missed his family and wife back in the mainland. Thus, he travelled on a white horse in plain attires, crossed three borders, from Xi Liang to the mainland, to look for his wife who had waited 18 years for his return.
P/s: I hope my translation and story-telling didn't ruined the meaning of this song.
Sunday, 29 June 2008
Say goodbye to the era of cheap flight ticket
Finally I'm feeling the crunch. And yes it is definitely not a good feeling that you would want to constantly remind yourself of.
Yet I have no choice. Our favourite aviation company, Jetstar, has cancelled the Sydney-Kuala Lumpur flight starting this coming September. This means we Sydney people have just lost our cheap option to fly back home end of this year. Everyone who flied on Jetstar last year could tell how lucky we were as compared to our fellow JPA people in other cities. No transit is required. We just need to hop on the plane and 7 hours later we are home in Malaysia.
Considering I had experienced the atmosphere during the peak tourism season (Christmas, Boxing Day, and New Year) last year I see no reason to go back late like I did last year. So, being a very calculative consumer I looked up the prices of flight ticket of various airlines, and was ASTONISHED to discover that tickets for MAS or SIA could easily cost a fortune (that is, somewhere close to AUD2000). Argh....this is so beyond my acceptable range.
Where to go from here? Few options (though more expensive than the direct Jetstar flight) are still opened.
-Sydney - Singapore - KL
-Sydney - Perth - KL
-Sydney - Brisbane - KL
Whichever way I choose I can't get away from flight transit, which is uber tiring.
Saturday, 28 June 2008
荒唐的岁月
有位高手可以日夜颠倒,早上冬眠,晚上才起来展翅高飞。自从考试完毕后我见到他的次数可以用一只手算完。我本来就觉得很奇怪,到底一个人怎么承受得了天天闭关修炼的闷气。后来经过另一个housemate 的开导,才知道爱情的伟大,电脑游戏的诱惑,真的是可以把一个人变成神。只恨我离天人的境界还很远,每天晚上十二点钟眼睛就已经是要关上了,一倒下整个人就睡得不省人事。
如果你认为我家只有一位神你就实实在在太看不起他们了。我家里的两位drama king可厉害了!一天内可以看十多集的连续剧,看到废寝忘食。我去年觉得自己一天内看六七集就已达到最高境界了,现在想来实在惭愧,我太天真了。所谓人外有人,天外有天,这两位drama king 实在把我的ego 杀得片甲不留,让我甘拜下风。
但就像武侠小说里,厉害的高手也是有分十八方武艺的。这两位drama king 就是specialise 在不一样的领域了。第一位很神,能够在晚上八九点当大家都很活泼时上床睡觉,然后在凌晨五点全部人都睡得像死猪的时候爬起来练drama series 武功。大概这种功夫是要在夜深人静时才会练出火花吧!第二位就正好是第一位的克星,能够练功到凌晨三四点眼睛还不会掉出来,很令人折服的是他可以睡两三个小时后早餐时跟我这个睡了八小时的人若无其事地说话。
简直是跳脱出我的逻辑,超乎我的想象,让我啧啧称奇。
看来我是没有机会进化成这种超人,因为我一天睡不够就会像个潦倒的人,整天魂不守舍。天人难做啊!
附注:请原谅我的无聊,因为实实在在太闷了(都是开玩笑的别生气)。学期时期待假期的闲空,假期时想要有学期时的充实生活; 喜欢读书但又讨厌考试, 希望自己有钱但做工时又向往那种没工作时的轻松自在。我到底要什么?哎。。。如果人那么容易满足天下就太平了,偏偏人就是那么的欠揍。
Friday, 27 June 2008
It's been long since I last went to a cinema - The movie '21'
Went to watch this at macquarie centre cinema two days ago at night. It was a COLD COLD COLD night, I was shivering at all times when we were outdoor. Damnation. Also blame the fact that I only had a roll from KFC for dinner (of course I ate something when I reached home) before entering the theatre.
But, it was an awesome movie. Well, at least for us nerdy actuarial students. All of us were smiling when one scene showed Ben Campbell, the main character who was a smart ass, correctly answered the famous 'Monty Hall Problem' seemingly without any difficulty in comparison to what it was like for us when we encountered it in ACST211 last year. And for those who don't know what the Monty Hall Problem is:
Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind one door is a car; behind the others, goats. You pick a door, say No. 1, and the host, who knows what's behind the doors, opens another door, say No. 3, which has a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to pick door No. 2?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice?
Most people would think that it doesn't matter whether the door is switched as both are equally likely to contain the car.
The solution:
Don't switch: The probability of your door being the one with the car remains at 1/3
Switch:
If your door IS the one with the car, you lose. This probability is 1/3.
If your door IS NOT the one with the car, the host will open the other one without a car, you will subsequently switch to the remaining one which contains the car. This probability is 2/3 as there is 2 in 3 chance at the outset of you not choosing the correct door.
So by switching, you increase your chance of winning from 1/3 to 2/3. Amazing isn't it? This is counter intuitive for most people.
So this is the nerdy part about the movie which I think not many people in the theatre could understand. Anyway this smart ass impressed his fat round evil-faced professor Micky Rosa (oh I hate him!) Micky then persuaded him to join his Las Vegas blackjack team. The team spread out in playing small amount of money to count cards, and when it is statistically profitable they would signal the big player (Ben) to join the table and throw in big money. This part is certainly an exaggeration in the show. With card-counting one is expected to win money in the long-run but certainly not in every game as portrayed in the movie. Anyway I thought the sound effects when the game is played is quite thrilling.
'21' also serves as a gentle reminder to us about how money can be such a huge temptation for criminal activities. Easy but possibly illegal money could make "nothing seems to cost too much", and certainly make spending so much more delightful. I guess corporate crime in real life such as the all-so-common misappropriation of company funds, corruption all stem from the plain joy of spending big with money that comes without hard work. Not many could resist the glamour of being able to afford designer bags and clothing, expensive food at 5 star restaurants etc without having to earn those big bucks the legitimate way.
I will not be a spoiler by revealing all the interesting twist and turn of the storyline here. What's worth mentioning is the last part of the movie where Ben Campbell told his interviewer that throughout his life "he's been to Vegas 17 times, won a fortune two times, and it was stolen both times".
In order to make our money last, we have to work honestly for it. What comes easily goes easily.
Tuesday, 24 June 2008
“你是信奉什么宗教的?”
我都说不是。朋友们都露出一种很困惑的眼神,像在说:“你怎么那么不虔诚?”
其实不管在马来西亚还是这里很少人对佛教有真正的理解。马来西亚很多华裔家庭都把“拜神”或“道教”都说成是佛教了。拜神指的是烧香拜四方鬼神,天公,土地等;道教是出自老子的《道德经》(很多人连老子都没听过就说自己是道教的);佛教源于二千五百年前释迦族王子释迦摩尼佛在菩提树下悟出的人生道理。
对我来说宗教说穿了就是要让人有精神上的寄托。人生有很多不如意的事,碰到一些困难,挫折时宗教有时就能填补一些心灵上的空虚感。我对佛教就是取其精神,但一些自己觉得做不到的(像持终生素)就不必勉强了。但这并不说明我不虔诚,因为释迦摩尼佛初创教的时候就从不勉强信徒终生持素。
"那么你们是不是要每天念经?”朋友又问。当然不,佛教的中心思想的传播并不是全靠经文的。为什么?因为经文是梵文的阿,我又不会梵文。
然后就问到最难回答的问题了:“佛教的中心思想是什么?”
寒山问拾得:世间有人谤我、欺我、辱我、笑我、轻我、贱我、骗我,如何处置?拾得曰:只要忍他、让他、避他、由他、耐他、不要理他,再过几年你且看他
这个典故说的是不要拿别人的过错来惩罚自己,忍让别人就是远离纷争的办法。在佛教里这是一种超尘脱俗的境界,但在许多西方人眼里这却是弱者的表现。不过佛教讲求的是心灵上的平和,这肯定和争强好胜的心态背道而驰吧。
活在当下
这是个相当难懂的道理。“当下”指的就是现在。人要快乐,就应该把握现在,做自己想做的事,而不是懊悔着过去,期望着未来。人生是无常的,未来是否会来到很难说,而过去已无法挽回,为什么不接受它,让它过去呢? 这样个说法也不是每个人都能接受的,很多人认为不展望未来既是不思进取,满足于现况,无疑是消极的态度。
放生,助人,慈悲为怀
这句话更不得了。我有个朋友反应很快地说,现在这种弱肉强食的时代,太过善良反而会遭人欺。也不是没道理阿,在马来西亚就有很多这样的例子。下雨天开车时如果见到路边有个人向你招手你会停下来吗?很多人会忙摇头说不,万一是强盗怎么办? 针对这点我也不否认,其实宗教和很多别的东西一样不是绝对的。释迦摩尼佛说这句话时是在二千五百年前比较单纯的社会,在现在这种世风败坏的年代当然我们应该见机行事嘛!随着时代的变化宗教不应一成不变。
对我来说正派宗教推崇的都是良好的价值观,所以我并不会到处说佛教比其他宗教好(不像一些人到处毁谤别人的宗教信仰)。个人觉得只要是带有理智地去信它 (不是迷它),不走极端路线,任何宗教都会改善人心,带动人格上的升华。
Monday, 23 June 2008
Free food, Volunteering dream
After our sausages session we went to Unit 111 to continue chilling out. The three (crazy) girls, quanyie, chia ling and selina, went to Paramatta for shopping therapy and they bought what seemed to me like dozens of accessories for $2 each. That was really CHEAP :0). And they wanted to turn me into one of the bimbo gang next time when they go DFO. Yea thinking of it, I should learn to like shopping the way they do. Sometimes I'm just too lazy to walk from shop to shop comparing prices and screaming on top of my lungs over seemingly good deals. Shall do more of that soon. Of course, that would only be possible if I have enough money to spend on material wants. I'm thinking of going Adelaide to visit my cousins end of this year and that would mean MONEY MONEY MONEY, as usual.
For some weird reason Yeam, fellow Taiping folk studying in ANU, demanded a video for his birthday. The three shopaholics were busy parading with their newly-acquired treasures and eventually as they had settled with what to wear we took that (funny) video (*shake head).
After that we did rubbish talking and at one point we were discussing about "the possibility of going on exchange or on a volunteer programme". Quanyie said exchange will cost at least 4 or 5K (this is definitely beyond my means) while volunteering would cost something like 2 or 3 K due to the recently soaring petrol price. Personally I think those are fabulous experience that a uni student studying overseas should not miss. But then, money is really a problem. How could we afford these money without working like crazy and forgoing time for our studies? No way.
I so wish that I were rich.
Saturday, 21 June 2008
冬。感触。温情
现在我为这件事感到有点后悔。
事发正好是week 12 还是week 13, 学业是忙得不得了,没有多少时间去跟踪地震的新闻,也没有真正地体会到这次的地震破坏性有多大。后来看了youtube 还有一些大陆网站的报道,图片,才知道原来这次死的人真的有好多好多。很多年纪小小,根本还没真正体会到人生乐趣的小孩就在上课一半时被倒塌的瓦砾压死了。尤其在“一孩政策”下中国家庭通常都只有一个孩子,很多家长带着泪水焦急地在破瓦堆里找着孩子的画面真的让我看了都觉得痛心。家长痛失孩子,受的是白头人送黑头人的伤痛; 失去双亲的小孩必须单独面对茫茫人海,从被疼爱一夜间变得举目无亲,这其中的苦楚只有当事人才能真正了解。
youtube 有人上传了台湾中视的救灾节目“把爱传出去”,主持人还有演艺圈里传媒界里政治界里的人都很积极地参与救灾募款,说到很多令人心酸的故事。印象比较深刻的一个 -
一个小学生被拯救人员救起,口袋里手机上有一个简讯:孩子,如果你还活着,记得爸妈爱你。
听了都起鸡皮疙瘩,很感人又很令人心酸。
生命在大自然前显得是多么微弱。
发达的科技,突破性的发展,在地震来临的那刻都变得微不足道。灾难来得不知不觉,让人手足无措。从灾民眼神中看出来他们是多么地渴望帮助,渴望问候,渴望关怀。一切身外物,金钱名利地位都已经不重要了,他们就只是希望家人朋友都平安。
看到这种报道,我们活着的人难道不应觉得自己能够呼吸其实就是一种福气吗?没有地震,没有灾难的马来西亚,是个多么好的地方啊! (我个人觉得其实除去政治上的因素,犯罪案的频密,马来西亚是得天独厚。)
我看了这些真的很有心想捐一点钱表示心意,但这件事好像在澳洲这里热度过了,有点内疚当时为什么没有认真想一想该不该捐款。虽然我错失了出一点微薄力量的机会,我衷心希望四川那里的人振作起来重新建造家园。虽然我有时会对中国有些意见,但是在这种灾难发生时政治上的分岐是应该被搁下的。
爱心是没国界之分,在大自然前人类是平等的,无论你是贫是富,是贵是贱。
Post-exam
Yes we SANG our lungs out. For three full hours. In the beginning it was frustrating as the microphones weren't set properly and thus gave out loud squeeking noices when we sang. Irritating. But we did manage to get the problem resolved. Nothing could stop our enthusiasm to scream and yell and do all sorts of funny noices in that room. All of us went for Taiwanese songs, namely those of 周杰伦,周华健 and some of the others. Such is the influence of the Taiwanese entertainment sector on us Chinese Malaysians. Sadly enough, none of us know any of the Malay song and none of us even bothered to find out what sort of songs they have in Malay.
And for some reason I had a crave for oldies yesterday. I sang some of the classical tunes that my friends may had never heard of. 一剪梅,恰似你的温柔,你怎么舍得我难过,爱相随,花心,其实不想走etc. Some contemporary songs are well-composed but they just can't seem to satisfy one aspect of music: the ability to withstand the passing of time. Oldies that survive all this while till today are what we could truly say, excellent.
Anyway, that was our karaoke session.
After that, we happily spent our money and ate dinner at one Thai restaurant, after so long eating stir-fried chicken and veggie with rice for dinner at home. I wasn't sure if the quality is what I should call good (I think it probably is ordinary), but it was really satisfying after using up all our energy at the karaoke.
Then we board the bus back and reached home around 11.00pm. I called mummy to chit chat. It was nearly frustrating when I just somehow couldn't get through the line to Malaysia. I did eventually and fortunately the line was clear. It was so good to hear mummy's voice since I hadn't been calling back home for two weeks due to exams. So mummy said Jetstar has cancelled the flight between Sydney and KL, that means I would have no choice but to go back with an expensive air ticket end of this year. Sigh. Anyway I chatted with mummy and papa for more than an hour. Went to bed at almost 1am.
Wednesday, 11 June 2008
From seashells to credit cards, why we have no choice but to be money-minded
Your computer which is staring back at you now wouldn't even exist, the meal that you had just taken wouldn't be there for your, the movie that you had watched few days ago wouldn't be heard of ... (the list goes on), if the evil little notes and coins are not invented in the first place.
It is the ultimate medium of circulation, transaction, exchange,incentives and most importantly - penalty. Money has never ceased to play an important role in every aspect of our life. If it wasn't for money, you weren't be working hard (of course, there are exceptions for people who genuinely love the toil and tumble of their jobs). Most of the time, what people meant by "I love my job" is really just "I love the reward from the job, and to prevent myself from suffering I learn to love the job as well."
Without money, there is little incentive for students to study hard. A sad reality of modern education, but if money didn't exist there wouldn't be so many of us burrying our heads amidst the books in the university library. Some very relevant examples are students doing their courses on money-related field. Actuarial studies, finance, accounting, business etc etc are all rubbish had money not exist. Interest rates, the trade-off between present and future values blablabla are non-sensical in a world without money.
Hence the root of all evil is indeed the basis of everything that human world has.
The whole branch of 'human science' were born about as early as money was invented. Economy grows, trading started, all human race has been prospering since then. Concepts which are intangible, ranging from the basic ideas about cash flows, liquidity, exchange rates to a whole set of macroeconomic jargon e.g. growth, inflation, turnover volume, chain effects, spill-over effects aka rippling effects, are here since then. Where would these things stand if we rid our world off the evil thing called money? Nothing but nonsence.
And then there is this great idea to enable people to spend beyond their means - the hidden inducement to spend on unnecessary things - the credit card system. Money becomes intangible, and is replaced by the action of one swipping his/her card across the machine, and the purchase is done. No sight of income flowing out, nothing but the pleasure of holding the new-owned items.
No one could safely say that he doesn't care about money, unless he is prepared to be isolated permanently from the money-based world and stay in the jungle eating self-planted crops for lifetime. One choice is in our hands, however.
Money: We master it, or let it master us.
On a lighter note:
Girls = Money * Time
Since Time=Money, Girls = Money * Money =
Money is the root of all evil ==> Money * money = evil
Hence, Girls =Evil
Ever wonder why your money keep disappearing?
$1 = 100 cent = 10*10 cent = $0.1*0.1=$0.01=1 cent
Advice from JF: take care of your units
Friday, 6 June 2008
What we're all after, actually?
However this is not what makes me decided to write in this space today. I once thought that I would probably not do any writing at least before the exams. But no, I'm here again.
I saw our amazing lecturer JF (you know who) on my way back from a tiring day of uni plus grocery shopping. All I have to say is that he's the most uber fascinating lecturer in probably the entire Actuarial Department in Macquarie University. I once heard about him being a real professional specialising in Life insurance, and being a fellow IAA he must be rich - at least rich enought to buy a decent car and petrol.
But there I saw this man walking with his hiking bag, one hand carrying a huge umbrella, and the other - you will never guess it I bet - a PILLOW. It wasn't a new pillow brought from mac cen trust me. It looked like it was a used pillow. I was wondering, why does he need to bring a pillow to his office? And why oh why, is he walking to uni everyday given his qualification and consequently, wealth.
So it all boils down to one question: what EXACTLY are we working hard for. I just turned 20 two days ago and it hits me hard that I'm no longer a 'raw teenager'. Reaching 20 means that I'm gradually getting closer and closer to real adulthood.
Is it really money that matters? Going back to JF's example, what makes a well-established actuary willing to walk to uni everyday, speaks and dress like an ordinary folk. Really, I 've been wondering about this since last year when I was first introduced to this unique being in ACST211. Another fellow interesting actuary is Prof. John Pollard. He travelled around the world in minivan with his wife 30 years ago and did it again last year with some sort of " high technology recording the entire journey for the pleasure of his grandchildren". What a life man!
Tuesday, 3 June 2008
Massive style change after this
Hence my spur-of-the moment decision to carry out a so called "massive alteration of flavour" in this space. As my exams are approaching you probably would guess that there wouldn't be too many posting before 20th June. But I have decided to take a break from my crazy revision just to post up some phrases that I not only adore but would love to adopt as my life principles.
不生气歌
Don't be angry
人生就像一场戏,相扶到老不容易;
Life is just like a drama, it's not easy to get someone whom you can spend a lifetime with
因为有缘才相聚,是否更该去珍惜;
It's destiny that make us together, so shouldn't we cherish it?
为了小事发脾气,回头想想又何必;
In restrospect, we would realise that we often unnecessarily throw tantrums at minor things
别人生气我不气,气出病来无人替;
Let others be angry but not myself, for if I were to fall sick because of my bad mood there wouldn't be anyone who can compensate me for that
我若气死谁如意,况且伤神又费力;
Neither would anyone be happy if I die because of bad temper, not to mention being angry is something that comsumes my energy and soul
邻居亲朋不要比,儿孙琐事由他去;
Don't always compare yourself with you neighbours, relatives, friends, let go of your children, grandchildren when it is the right time to do so
吃苦享乐在一起,神仙羡慕好伴侣
May we be together for good and bad times; if so, even fairies will envy our closeness as a couple.
I hope my translation isn't too bad.
Friday, 23 May 2008
Tuesday, 29 April 2008
Saturday, 26 April 2008
My trip to GOLD COAST
This is Q1 -tallest residential building in the world
fake sceneries - wet n wild
Wild west fall - movie world
Mammoth fall - wet n wild . (not scarry at all one)
I like this one the most throughout the trip. Felt like flying. - wet n wild
This one is roller coaster at movie world. Fun!!! Backward drops rock!
Bank at movie world
4D motion movie - shrek
Lethal weapon roller coaster. scarriest one I ever tried. Did you see that human's legs are left daggling?? Yeh, I went for this.
Superman roller coaster. second scarriest
At Sydney airport.
Each picture says a thousand words so I don't really need to narrate too much here (hence my excuse for cutting short my blog because I'm just too lazy to blog these days, the excitement of putting something on this space somehow wears off since my summer holiday):(
Basically, I went gold coast with 4 other girls and 3 housemates. We departed on 19th April 2008, had 5 days of crazy stuff there and came back on 23rd April 2008, 11.00pm at night (and reached home at 12-ish am on 24th April 2008). Lethargic as it sounds, but we had heaps of fun and I never regret for a second for spending quite a substatial amount throughout the trip (partly because JPA money is coming in soon, yay!)
See lah if I become less lazy tomorrow I might put on more pics on this entry. I can't stand the speed of my internet.